Don't Leave Us
by JMLHCPKSfan
Summary: Logan is a successful doctor with a big family. However, the day has come that he decides to announce that he wants a divorce from his loving wife and three husbands. But when he moves out with his son for the trial separation, he finds that his husbands keep coming back to him, being with Logan even when it is forbidden. Because of them, Logan is now unsure about what he wants.
1. The Talk

**So this is going to seem like a really weird concept to some of you, but I hope you read it anyway, because I modernized it and its going to be really romantic and cute and dramatic! :)**

* * *

I cried in the car.

A strange first line, I know, but that is where this story begins.

I was on my way home from the hospital, where I was "Dr. Mitchell" at the ER. I had a slow day, so mainly I just sat in my office, holding back tears as I did paperwork.

But in the car, I let it out. I didn't plan on crying at all, but our song came on the radio- "Edge Of Desire" by John Mayor- and I had to. I was almost sobbing like a baby and had to pull over to keep from wrecking my car.

On the bright and not-so-bright side, James was coming home today. It was a joyous occasion- he was off on business with his mom for weeks at a time and was coming home for a few months. I was happy- I loved James. But I was also scared shitless. Today I had to have a serious talk with him, Kendall, Carlos, and Bella. A talk that I had been thinking about for a long time, but I just now decided I had to have with them.

"Get yourself together," I grumbled to myself as I sat up in my seat and took a deep breath. It was a snowy Minnesota day. I knew the kids and Kendall and Carlos would be out playing today.

I finally put the car in drive and finished my journey home.

* * *

"Daddy!" Greyson squealed, hugging my knees as I entered the house.

"Hey, booger," I smiled, bending down to kiss his dark hair, then his nose. I patted the other kids' heads as I walked through them. There was Annie and Parker- Carlos' twins, Bentley- James' son, and Georgia, or "Georgie"- Kendall's daughter. We were a full house- one wife, four husbands, five kids, and one on the way.

I looked up to see James standing in the kitchen, Bella cooking- an apron on over her bulging belly.

"Hey you," James smiled, hugging me. I let my laptop bag drop to the floor as I hugged him. I loved James' smell- it was strong and unique, and that smell made me happy. I would miss that smell.

He pulled away a little to give me a gentle "James kiss"- a kiss that could only be described as gentle, yet so full of lust you might just cum in your pants. That kiss almost made me cry all over again.

I then moved on to Bella, who allowed me to kiss her cheek, since her hands busy making spaghetti and I lightly touched her stomach. In there was my son, and he would be out in about two months.

I went in my bedroom and put my bag away before changing into a comfortable t-shirt and sweatpants. I was nervous. Although we wouldn't be able to talk until the kids were in bed, I was still on the verge of a panic attack.

I went into my office to do yet more paperwork and I heard Greyson come in.

"Hey, bud," I smiled. He grinned, my dimples evident in his smile, as I pulled him into my lap. He looked a lot like me, with dark eyes, dark hair, pale skin, and dimples. His hair was very soft, since he was only barely four, and he loved to keep it parted and neat to the side.

All of the kids looked mostly like their fathers. Bella had blonde hair and blue eyes- recessive traits that allowed their father's traits to shine through. Greyson, however, was not her child. Greyson was a child I had with my old girlfriend, who was currently in prison for murder. I wasn't with her while she was pregnant- I was with Bella- but I checked on her frequently, excited for my child's arrival. He was born while she was in prison, and never saw her again.

"Whatcha doin', Daddy?" he asked, looking over my paperwork.

"Just work," I said. He couldn't read, and even if he could he wouldn't be able to read my doctor's hand, but he liked to act like he could. I could see him being a doctor, just like his daddy, someday. He loved to ask me about weird things that I treated that day. I normally had some funny things to tell him, since I worked at the ER. Sometimes I would tell him about the guy with the nail through his hand or the lady who super-glued her shoe to her foot. Today, like I said, was a slow day, though.

"Mommy's making 'sketti," he said excitedly. Greyson LOVED spaghetti.

"I know," I smiled. The door opened and Kendall popped in.

"Hey, handsome. How was your day?" he asked me with a welcoming smile.

"Slow," I grumbled. His hands found their ways to my shoulders and he started rubbing slowly. His massages weren't as good as Carlos', but they were alright. "How about you?"

"Pretty good. I didn't have practice today, so we all played outside," he said.

Kendall was a pro hockey player, and currently the season was in. He only had a few more years of playing, being 29 now, but he loved it. There were times when he was at training and James was doing business, so it was only me, Carlos, and Bella taking care of the kids. Soon it would be only Carlos, when they were out, I was moved on, and Bella was too pregnant to do much.

Greyson took my pen and a piece of computer paper and started drawing.

"You're tense," he said, working his thumbs into my muscles. "I thought you said you had a slow day."

"I did… I guess I'm just always tense," I said. I obviously couldn't tell him why I was stressed.

"Well stop it," Kendall smirked, towering over the back of my chair and kissing my forehead, his lips lingering. I didn't understand why he only kissed me that way.

* * *

Dinner was hectic- as usual. We had a huge table to eat at. At the end was Bella, then to her left was me, Greyson, Georgia, James, Carlos on the other end, Annie, Bentley, Parker, and Kendall at her right. As usual, Parker and Georgia flung noodles, Greyson TRIED, but having the bad luck he had of being the oldest AND my son, got scolded. I threatened time out for the ones acting out and they stopped. That was it.

* * *

At the end of the night, the kids were safe in bed and we were all gathered in my room. We all had separate rooms, but if Bella wanted to sleep with one of us, she could, and if one of us wanted to sleep with the other, we could. I had called a little meeting in my room.

I was standing nervously before the bed, wringing my hands.

Carlos was sitting against the headboard, Bella sitting between his legs, his hands on her stomach. James was sitting against the headboard beside him and Kendall was on his stomach in the middle.

"What, honey?" Bella asked me with kind blue eyes. "Spit it out."

I ran my hands nervously through my hair and looked at her. I used to love her. It was she and I who were the first to marry, then came Carlos, Kendall, then James. I was the first one that she loved. All the guys had MY last name. But… I couldn't say I loved her anymore. We had just grown apart.

My chest was squeezing and my heart was breaking. I had to say it.

"I want a divorce," I said quietly, my voice cracking as a tear slipped. That's it- it's said- no turning back. I'm "balls deep", as Kendall would say. All movement and sound stopped as all four of them stared up at me. Kendall sat up, jaw dropped. James looked at me with hurt in his eyes. Carlos looked concerned.

"…Oh…" Was all Bella said. I could see it in her eyes- she still loved me.

"You can't do this to us!" Kendall suddenly growled. I took a deep breath and looked away. "We all LOVE you! The kids love you!"

"…I… I think this is something Logie and I need to talk about alone," Bella said quietly. I stared at the carpet as I heard the others leave. I looked up in time to see James glance over his shoulder at me, tears in his strong hazel eyes, before he closed the door.

Bella sat on the edge of the bed, staring at me, her delicate pink bottom lip quivering. I stepped forward and she hugged my waist, her cheek on my stomach as I heard her take in a suffocated breath and sniffle. I stroked her golden hair, as I waited for her to be ready to talk.

"Why?" she finally asked as I sat beside her.

"I'm gay," I said quietly. She let out a helpless laugh and shook her head- of course I was gay. "No… But I mean… I don't love you like I used to."

"You love the guys."

"Yes, but the whole reason behind a polyandrous relationship is to be devoted to the wife. I… I'm attracted to Carlos and James and Kendall… But I should be attracted to YOU."

"Maybe you will be once I'm not pregnant anymore."

"No, it's not that," I sighed.

"Loge… I've loved you since day-one. We all have your last name. I'm having your BABY."

I took her under my arm and she laid her head on my shoulder.

"It's not right for me to be married to you when you love me but I can't return the favor," I whispered, kissing her hair.

"But then, if we get divorced, you wouldn't be able to see the guys anymore, or that would be adultery. That's against everything we believe."

"I know…" I said weakly.

"Are you sure I can't fix this?" Bella asked, her blue eyes up on me. I sighed and kissed her forehead. She was so sweet- you couldn't ask for a better wife and mother.

"It's not you, honey."

"But I love you," she said pitifully.

I stood and pulled her to her feet in a hug. I felt my son kicking against her skin between us, and my breath caught.

* * *

I decided it was best to talk to each of the guys separately. I went to Carlos first, since his bedroom was right beside Bella's.

"Los?" I said softly, tapping on his door. He answered it with a sad smile on his face.

"Did she cry?" he asked, letting me in. He was very much so in love with Bella and rarely got involved with her husbands. He was fantastic to her- loyal and caring and loving.

"Yeah," I sighed, standing beside the door, him in front of me.

"I'll go talk to her in a sec," he said sadly. "What about you?"

"I hate hurting her. And I know you guys are hurt, too."

"Not me as much as Kendall and James," he said.

"I know… I'm going to talk to them."

"Be careful- Kendall's pissed."

I nodded sadly and he hugged me. I loved Carlos differently than the others. Sure- I loved him romantically, but he was also a fantastic and supportive friend.

"Love ya, dude," he said, stepping back from the hug and out the door with a sad smile.

Next I went to Kendall.

His door was locked and he wouldn't open it when I knocked. All I got was a "GO THE FUCK AWAY LOGAN OR I SWEAR TO GOD I MIGHT BREAK YOUR ARM!" I hated him being mad at me. I loved him a lot, and I knew he loved me even more than that. He must have been really angry if he locked me out and threatened me…

I decided to let him "cool down" and moved on to James' room. James would give me hugs and tell me it's okay and let me cry on his shoulder all night. James, I think, was the one that it killed me most to not be able to see after the divorce. He was sexy, caring, funny, loving, and a fantastic lover…

But when I knocked on the door, there was no answer.

I opened the door quietly to find the light on, James' massive body in the bed, shaking and trembling, curled up beneath the blankets. My breath caught and tears filled my eyes.

I realized that I couldn't handle being with him when he was crying so hard. It would make me feel horrible, make me cry, make me hate myself for hurting such a beautiful creature.

Instead, I quietly closed the door and went downstairs to the couch, where I would cry myself to sleep for hurting so many people with just four words. "I want a divorce".

* * *

**I don't think that polygamy or polyandry is legal in the US, or it might be, I don't know. But let's pretend it is.**

**You might think this is a really weird concept, but just THINK about it.**

**This story can contain romance between any of the guys and the guys and the girl. It'll be full of the guys going to Logan and trying to convince him not to divorce them, if you know what I mean. PLUS it'll contain Logan being a daddy. **

**So, you know, you might want to stick around. ;)**

**Do you like this so far? Follow/favorite/review, please, because I have no idea if people will like this!**


	2. Don't Hate Me

**HaLoReAcHgIrl (P.S. Of course it'll develop into a good story! How could it not? But thanks, Jagan 4 life!), **

**LoveSparkle (P.S. Thanks for all your support on all my stories!), **

**Ashley-the-Weird (P.S. AAWE you love Bloodlust? Me too! But that's about to end, and I guess this one's just gonna have to be your new fav!), **

**jackieloveslogan (P.S. I luved it too! Thnk u! ;)), **

**Mrs. Henderson-Mitchell (P.S. High five for first review!),**

**DBZ AWESUM (P.S. I'm excited for it too, obviously :D)**

**Thank you ALL for your support and I hope you continue. :D I was afraid this story would be an EEH story, where really nobody reviews or anything. But hell, I'll take 5 reviews any day. Thank you!**

* * *

I knelt before Greyson that Saturday, zipping up his coat.

"I don't wanna go," he said pitifully. I sighed and looked up into his black eyes, which were almost tearful.

It was two weeks after our talk, and we had gone to court and our temporary separation was in effect as soon as we were out of this house. Grey was heartbroken about it. He didn't want to leave his brothers and sisters or his toys or his big house. Luckily he would be able to come back next week.

"I know, buddy," I said, kissing his forehead. "Me either."

I stood and picked up his bag, reaching for mine, but somebody had already grabbed it. I looked up to see James, and my heart broke. He hadn't really talked to me for a while. I knew he was absolutely destroyed about this whole ordeal.

"Let me help you," he said quietly. I nodded and he opened the front door.

We stepped out into the snow and to my sleek black car, James helping Grey down the steps so he wouldn't slip on the snow. He hauled the bags into the trunk and I buckled Grey into his car seat. He met me in front of the driver's side door before I could get in.

After that, we didn't move. We just stood and stared at one another.

"Was it… Something I did?" he asked quietly. I let out a deep breath and hugged him hard around the torso. "Can I fix it?"

I pulled away a little and looked up at him.

"Don't ever think it's your fault, baby," I said. "It's not you. Okay? I love you."

"I love you, too," he said sadly, and I got to my toes to kiss his cold lips. He then went to open Grey's door, murmured something I didn't hear, and kissed his forehead.

I looked to the house to see four little kids piled in one window waving sadly with Carlos behind them smiling solemnly. In the other window was Bella, smiling sadly as she waved and Kendall close behind her giving me a stony stare. I smiled a little and blew the kids a kiss as I got in the car.

"Be careful… The roads are slick," James said, holding my door.

"I will."

With that, he closed my door and crunched through the snow back to the house.

* * *

I unlocked the door to mine and Grey's hotel room and he slowly entered as I carried the bags. We were going to my parents' house eventually, but they lived far away from my work and I had to get about a week of holiday to live there and find somewhere to stay. For a few days until that request went through, we were at a hotel and Grey would be staying at the hospital when I worked. Then next week he would be going back to Bella's for a while, since she had also raised him since birth and was responsible for him.

"What am I s'posed to play with?" Grey asked, looking around the room. He wasn't used to being alone.

"I packed you some toys in your backpack," I offered, closing the door. He unzipped his "Cars" backpack and got out some toy cars, action figures, and a lot of Legos.

I unpacked some of our clothes into the drawers and sat on the floor with him.

"I miss Georgie," Grey said, absently bending the arm of his action figure. Georgia was probably his best friend- she was a tomboy and could play just as rough as the boys. I could definitely see them growing up and falling in love.

"I know, bud," I sighed, smoothing down his hair.

"Can we have pizza?" he asked.

"Yeah," I said. "We'll have pizza for dinner."

Grey nodded and looked up pitifully.

"How come we're not home?"

"Well… Cause Mommy and Daddy are separating."

"What's that mean?"

"It means we won't be married and I won't live there anymore," I said.

"Will Georgie and Annie and Parker and Bent live where we live?"

"No, baby, they'll live with their daddies and Mommy," I said quietly.

"I miss them."

"You'll see them again. Next week," I assured. I knew I would miss him like crazy for the week he would be gone, but he would be happier there with the other kids.

"How long till then?"

"Seven days."

"I want you to get back with Mommy."

I sighed and got up. My son was breaking my heart- I hated that he was so unhappy.

"Come sit on the toilet and play while I take a shower," I said, picking him up. I knew I shouldn't leave him alone out here.

* * *

That night, I lay in the bed, darkness encasing me. Grey was asleep, cuddled up to my chest, my arm over his side and clutching him to me as I cried, trying to be quiet.

I didn't want this. I didn't want to be a single dad, living in a hotel, missing my wife's husbands more than her. Maybe I shouldn't have said anything. Maybe I should have stayed with her, just so that I could be with Kendall and James and Carlos, mainly Kendall and James. Sure, after Bella had the baby she would want to have sex again, and I would have to because she'd be my wife, and sure I would have to give her hugs and kisses all the time, but would that be so bad? It is a tremendous burden for them all to have to change their names- to what? Garcia? Carlos was the next husband. But James and Kendall… They didn't love Carlos romantically. Carlos, sure, could be romantic with the husbands, but he didn't do it often or seriously.

I got a text.

From James. Just who I needed to talk to.

_Miss you. :)_

My heart melted and I smiled through my tears to text back.

_I wish I didn't bring Grey… He's miserable._

Sure, I would have missed my son like crazy if I left him behind, but at least he wouldn't have to leave his siblings.

_No way! _He texted back. _He would miss you like nuts, and he would be WAY sadder if you didn't bring him._

Oh, James. He always knew how to make me feel better. Before I could text back, I got another message from him.

_Think anyone'd know if I snuck in your room sometime?_

_Better not. :/ _I replied.

After that he stopped texting me. I knew he was either asleep, taking care of a kid, or Bella had come into his room crying, so I didn't mind. I just wished I was there to hold her and tell her it was okay.

I missed James a lot, but even more than that I missed Kendall. Kendall had barely talked to me all this time, and when he did he was angry. Any time anything went wrong, he blamed it hastily on me. I know he loved me- used to love me- and I missed his sweet forehead kisses or him sneaking into my office to have alone time with me… I wished he wasn't mad at me.

Maybe it was best he was angry. Maybe it would be best if James was, too. That way they wouldn't want anything to do with me, Carlos and I wouldn't be too connected romantically, and I would be getting past Bella. With the way it is… James and I are still attached. What happens when the divorce goes through? We won't be able to see each other anymore, because then he would technically be cheating on Bella. We really weren't even supposed to be talking now, but the rules with the husbands and I weren't nearly as strict as they were with Bella. I wasn't allowed to see Bella, or the month would be started over again.

I thought back to when Bella and I met.

Tiffany was in prison. She might or might not have killed a man at a gas station, and by that I mean she did. She killed him with a knife, because she and I had had a fight that night. Anyway, she was pregnant with Grey at the time, so what was I going to do? I wanted to be in my son's life, so I had to keep ties. However, I ran into this cute little blonde named Bella at the grocery store, and recognized her as a girl from high school, who I never really paid attention to. One thing lead to another, and at the end of Tiffany's pregnancy I got full custody of Grey and I was in head-over-heels love with Bella. Eventually she got some custody, too, because we got married.

For the record, I had no idea her family were polygamists. Not until her dad started talking about finding another husband. I know, it would have been good for Bella to mention before we got married, but what was I supposed to do? He introduced her to Carlos. I didn't want to share her, obviously. I loved her like crazy. She told me that she came from a long line of polygamists and if I couldn't accept what she wanted, she would have to leave me. I didn't want that, so I allowed this Latino to be all over my wife, no matter how much it repulsed and angered me. Eventually I even had to allow him to fuck her over and over until she got pregnant- that wasn't a fun time in my life. There were times when I would even take Grey to a hotel to get away from it. But yet I had to be accepting- I loved her.

She was pregnant with the twins- Annie and Parker- when she met Kendall- the hockey star who was the priest's son. Naturally he was to find a wife, or multiple, but he found Bella and I mean, who wouldn't fall in love with her? He and his father were opposed to multiple husbands committed to one wife- they preferred one husband, multiple wives. Honestly, I have no idea how he got roped in. I think it was me that got him into it.

It weirded me out, to be honest, when he moved in and started acting like he wanted to "sex me up". He would give me hugs from behind and kisses on the cheeks. I think I eventually started liking it.

James, like me, was just a normal guy who fell into Bella's trap. She had dated him for a while, then brought him home to us. He was about to bolt, but again I think it was me who stopped him. By then I think Kendall had opened my mind to men and I was practically drooling over him, and I think he was returning the favor.

There were some nights when Bella was vigorously attempting pregnancy with Kendall and the rest of us were left alone and horny. James and I didn't think anything of the sex we had- it seemed so natural. Kendall and I had done it, too, but I don't believe Carlos ever got that far with any of us.

James and Kendall never fought over me, and Bella never got jealous.

I had the perfect marriage! I beautiful woman, bearing my child, two men who I could do anything I wanted with, a houseful of children, a great job. I should have been happy.

I suppose seeing Bella in love with three other men- two of which I was also in love with- dampened that "head-over-heels" love I had for her in the beginning. I felt terribly guilty when I realized I didn't love her anymore. The realization hit when we found out that the baby was a boy.

I remember thinking "I get to raise my son with Bella!", but that thought didn't appeal to me like it had with Greyson. Yet when I thought "I get to raise my son with Kendall!" or James, I got very excited.

I thought I could tough through it, and I did. I just felt too guilty, though. The way she looked at me- she still loved me like she had even before Carlos. I felt horrible for not being able to return that. She was the sweetest girl I knew, and even though it would cost me my Kendall and James, I had to do what was right.

And now here I am crying like a baby with my son in my arms, lonely in a hotel room without anyone pressed against my back, hugging me as we slept.

* * *

**Hm… Who's gonna come visit him first?**

**Again, thanks for your support and all of you who followed. :D**


	3. Long Day

**My jaw fricking dropped when I saw all the reviews I got for chapter 2. :') Thank you guys so much, and keep up the good work!**

**If you reviewed, may the scent of a James Maslow be forever all over everything you touch! (A blessing or a curse… Hm… Let's say the scent of him, like, on a date. Not after he works out or is doing a concert. I'm sure he smells amazing no matter how much sweat is glistening on his bod).**

* * *

I squeezed my blue-gloved fingers over the oozing slice in the man's thumb, trying desperately to draw numbing meds from the bottle into the syringe with my other hand. Dammit! Why couldn't people be more careful with electrical saws? I would never understand.

Finally I managed to get enough into the syringe and I gently stabbed it into the thumb, the man hissing in pain. He practically cut his finger off with a power tool, but God forbid he gets a shot.

My nurse entered in a hurry. I didn't blame her for not being there- we were busy today for some reason. She held the man's finger tight as she apologized to me and I went to the cabinet to get the supplies for giving the man stitches.

"It's alright, Jess, really," I said. "Have you been around to see Grey? I haven't seen him all day."

Greyson was hanging out in the reception lady's area with his toys, drawing pictures, helping the lady with some things. I was so busy that I never got around to checking on him. I was damn lucky that Judy was okay with watching him- I knew she had important things to do. I guess that's a benefit of being an attractive young doctor- people do things for you.

"Yeah, last I saw he was hanging with Judy, organizing her desk stuff," Jess smiled as I threaded the needle. I smiled to myself- Grey loved organizing.

I flicked the guy's finger to make sure it was numb after a while, which it was. I was about to stick the needle in when the curtain opened.

"Doctor Mitchell?"

I turned to see Judy, my son's hand in hers.

"I have to go- my daughter was sick at school and I have to go get her," she said. "What should I do with him?"

The buzzer in my pocket went off yet again, telling me that I was needed ASAP somewhere. Shit. I had no time to figure out where Grey should go.

"Leave him here," I said. "Thank you, Judy, you're the best."

As Judy left, I gave the needle and thread to Jess, who was certified to give stitches, telling her I was needed somewhere else. I had no time to talk to Grey as I slapped off my bloody gloves and picked him up and slung him over my hip, taking out my beeper and rushing to the next place.

"You have blood on your shirt," Grey pointed out, poking to a splatter beside my nametag on my scrub. I looked down at it and nodded- it wasn't unusual to have blood on my scrubs.

We entered the next room and immediately upon entering I backed out. The teen girl inside was vomiting her guts out in there. Not knowing what was wrong with her, I didn't want Grey exposed to her germs.

"Breathe into my shirt, baby," I ordered. "I have to get you a mask."

I held Grey's face to my shoulder as I entered, going to the cabinet and slapping a mask one-handedly on my face before getting one for Grey.

"Okay, look up now but hold your breath," I said. "Like you're under water."

Grey emerged from my shoulder with his cheeks puffed out and I had to laugh as I put the mask over his little mouth and nose before putting the strap around his head.

"You look silly," he giggled as I sat him down.

"So do you," I said cutely. He really did- he had an adult mask on, and it was too big for his face. "Don't take that off until I tell you, okay? Now sit right here-" I sat him in the swivel chair. "And don't move or talk."

It was good that I quarantined him- the girl had a severe stomach bug.

* * *

I sat, exhausted, on the bathroom floor as I supervised Grey in the bath tub. We had been living at the hotel for two days and I was lonely and stressed out.

It was a LONG day of running around the ER with a three-year-old, stitching people up, diagnosing their ailments, and wrapping up sprained ankles and wrists. Of course I ordered Grey strictly not to touch his mouth, nose, or eyes and every chance I got I took him to the doctor's center to wash his hands in the blood sink (which he LOVED) because I didn't want him to get the crazy illnesses these people may have.

At the end of the day I was so strung-up I just wanted to go home. Not the hotel home, but HOME home. I wanted to tell my family all about my day at the dinner table and hear Grey gush about seeing Daddy be a hero to his siblings. One of the guys would give me a massage and tell me that I was tense and need a vacation, and I would get to go to sleep with someone.

"I got to talk to Kenny on the phone today," Grey said as I tiredly lathered shampoo into his dark hair. "Cause I asked Judy if I could call home and so she let me use her phone."

"What did Kenny say?" I asked. I missed Kendall. I missed all of them, really, but maybe I missed him most because he was mad at me for the last few weeks and I didn't get to really talk to him.

"He said that Georgie missed me a lot," Grey said. Kendall was a great father not only to all the kids, but especially Georgia. She was a little tomboy and he loved that. "And he said he loves me and can't wait to see me. And I talked to Mommy and she told me that she was sad that I wasn't there to help with laundry." Bella would always fold the clothes and Grey would sort them into piles according to who they belonged to.

"Did you talk to anyone else?"

"No- the kids were outside with Carlos and Jamie playing in the snow," Grey said. "Oh and Mommy told me to tell you she misses you."

I smiled a little to myself as I used a glass provided by the hotel to rinse Grey's hair.

Suddenly there was a knock at the door.

"Who's that?" I asked Grey, as if he would know. I yelled a brief "HANG ON!" and pulled Grey from the tub, wrapping him in a fluffy white towel.

I looked through the peep hole of the door and my heart jumped when I saw a tall and handsome James outside in the hall. I slung open the door and he caught me in his strong arms for a hug.

We hugged for a long time, me almost crying with the happiness and relief that came with his presence.

After a while, he turned his face to kiss my hair, then pulled back to kiss my face and lips.

"Are you crying?" he laughed, surprised, as he let go of me.

"Just about," I laughed, wiping my eyes. "I'm so happy to see you. I missed you."

We entered the room to find Grey buck naked, running to James to hug his leg as soon as he saw him.

"Where're your clothes, stinker?" James laughed, squatting to hug the naked boy.

"I was taking a bath!"

"I know! You're all wet!" James smiled, roughly and playfully kissing his cheek. He was always so good with Grey.

"Put some clothes on, baby," I said, and James let go of Grey so Grey could kneel in front of the bottom drawer and retrieve clothes.

James sat on the bed and looked around.

"How'd you find me?" I asked approaching him. He hugged me around the waist and pressed his cheek to my lower stomach.

"I have a Logan-radar," he said simply. "And maybe Carlos told me."

I was to tell someone where I was, and I chose Carlos because I thought he was best with the secret. They weren't really supposed to know, because, well, they would try to visit me like right now.

"You know, you're not supposed to be here," I said flirtatiously, petting his hair.

"But I miss yoooou," James groaned.

"What're you going to do when we're divorced and you can't see me like this anymore?"

"Well, I worked it all out. Wanna hear?" James looked up at me cutely. "In a few months, you're gonna have a baby with my wife," the phrase "my wife" hit some kind of emotion in me. "And I'll see you a lot. And maybe while you're at my house I'll sneak you secret kisses and I'll go to your house some days to 'help with the baby' and we'll see each other then."

I smiled a little, liking to think that might work. I thought that Bella wouldn't be mad if she knew that her husband and ex-husband were seeing each other- she knew we loved one another- but it was still risky business.

Grey, now in a little Pull-Up and t-shirt, sat on the floor to play.

"Is Kendall still pissed?" I asked.

"He hasn't said much about you," James said, shaking his head. "Every time you're brought up he keeps his trap shut- seems unfazed."

"I wish he wasn't mad."

"He's realizing that he shouldn't have wasted the past two weeks ignoring you," James smirked, letting go of me and lying on the bed. "Bells is getting better. She can talk about you now. She's been clinging to us for a while now- she came into my room last night crying. She made me laugh- asked if the reason why you love me and not her is the fact that I have a cock. But she's getting there."

"For the record, the penis is a nice addition," I smirked. I missed her. Normally when she was sad she came to me. Maybe it was my doctor's touch, maybe it was the fact that she's loved me longest, but I was normally the shoulder to cry on. I was normally the one who whispered soothing things to her, the one she fell asleep with, the one who chased away her bad dreams.

I turned to Grey and picked him up, turning on the TV in the process.

"Bed time, big guy," I sang.

"I'm not tired," he pouted as James got up from the bed and pulled the blankets away so I could lay the tiny boy on the bed.

"I'll lay with you and we'll watch Spongebob together," James said, slipping beneath the blankets and propping an arm behind his head. Grey rolled over to hug his side and my heart melted.

"I need to pack. Tomorrow after work we're going to Grammy's," I said to Grey. "Try to go to sleep, okay? I know it was a long day for you."

Within twenty minutes we were all packed up and Grey was fast asleep, snoring quietly. James gently slipped from his grip to stand.

I stared up at him- damn he was sexy- and he pulled me to him by the waistband of my PJ pants.

"I'm sorry," I said quietly. He smiled a little and hugged me tight, knowing exactly what I was talking about. I was sorry for the divorce- sorry for what he was going through.

"Before we had the talk, you stopped eating so much. You lost a lot of weight because of it. You were really nasty sometimes- always came home and locked yourself in your office. I don't ever want to see you so unhappy again," James said quietly. I honestly had no idea I had stopped eating or was irritable. "I'd love for you to come back, but the guilt was eating you alive. I know you're thinking about it, because of me and Kendall, but you have to think about yourself once in a while."

"I don't know how I'm gonna survive this month," I said, suddenly weak and crying. "I miss you too much. I'm sad. I'm guilty. I'm pissed off at myself."

James pulled away and held my face, his thumbs wiping away my tears.

"I wish things were better for you," he said quietly. "It'll get better. Once the baby's here, and you get to spend time with us and the kids again."

I sniffled and stared down at some emblem on his shirt as he gave a tender kiss to my forehead.

"It's just been a really long day," I sniffled as he hugged my torso.

"Do you want me to go so you can sleep?" he asked.

"No!" I answered quickly, pulling away to look at him. "PLEASE no."

So we sat on the bed, him between my legs and my arms around his shoulders as we watched TV for a long time. I missed him- his touch, his warmth, his smell, his voice, his kisses. Him being there made me feel so much better- he seemed to mend my heart.

Finally I realized it was 1 AM, and he seemed to, too.

He got up, breaking my heart with his words:

"I better get going."

I sighed and got up, hugging him.

"I miss you already," he said sweetly into my hair. I smiled a little and let go of him, getting to my toes to meet his kiss. His fingers laced with mine as we kissed- it was slow and sweet and savory and I never wanted it to end.

"Tell everyone I miss them," I said quietly as he pulled back a little.

"They don't know I'm here," he chuckled. "Only Los does. I feel like we're Romeo and Juliet."

I laughed and shook my head.

"Goodnight… Sweet dreams," he said.

"Night. I love you."

"Love you more."

I smiled a little and he kissed me once more before leaving.

That night I laid in the dark, my son in my arms and the scent of James still on my clothes. It gave me comfort that James would always be in my life, even if just as the husband of the mother of my baby.

* * *

**So sweet. :')**

**So I was thinking about this… If you saw Logan and Greyson holding hands in public, like, in real life, and you didn't know Logan at all- he was some 30 year old doctor and his son, wouldn't your heart just melt? Like, they're just so cute.**

**And a little side-note, I'm sorry if I sound like a horrible Rusher, but I need an answer. Does Carlos have a tattoo on his bicep? Cause he posted a picture of him getting one on his arm, then one picture had the tattoo sort of in the frame, and it was words, but since then it isn't there. Like, he recently posted a pic of him and Alec flexing their muscles, and it wasn't there, and it isn't in any other recent pics. Anyone know? Sorry if I sound like a horrible, horrible Rusher for not being positive.**


	4. A Surprise Visit

"GRAMMY!" Grey yelled happily as he ran to my mother and she caught him in a hug. He hadn't seen her for a while- my mother and I weren't on great terms.

"Look at you! So big and grown up!" she smiled, hugging him. "You look just like your daddy did!"

"I look like Daddy?"

"Right down to the cute little nosey," she smiled, rubbing her nose with his. I hugged my mother, feeling the satisfaction radiating off of her.

We used to be close. She loved Bella, she loved Grey, she loved that I was a doctor, she loved everything in my life… Until Carlos. When she found out about Bella's being a polyandrist, Mom begged me to divorce her. Obviously I didn't, and then Kendall and James came along. We still talked now and then for Grey's sake, but she absolutely hated my lifestyle simply because being a huge Catholic follower she believed that marriage was between a man and a woman. Needless to say, she didn't know about my romantic relationship with Bella's husbands.

I took off Grey's coat, hat, and gloves before he ran off to find my dad. My dad was a military man, retired now, and he didn't really approve of me either, although he remained loving toward me. I was his son- his pride and joy, who became a doctor, had a beautiful son, married a gorgeous woman, and had my life "figured out".

"How're you doing?" Mom asked as I followed her to my old bedroom with our bags. Grey would only be there a few days, but he had his own bedroom across the hall.

"I'm… doing," I sighed. "It's tough."

"You still wear your ring," she noted. I looked down at the golden band around my left ring finger.

"Technically I'm still married," I said. Maybe I hadn't removed the ring because that would make things too real for me… I wasn't sure why.

"Technicalities," she smirked. "You should be happy!"

"Why?"

"Because you aren't stuck in that mess anymore."

I didn't feel like arguing with my mom, so I just ran my hand through my hair and sighed.

"I guess," I said. "Where's Dad?"

"He's making supper."

I nodded and she followed me to the kitchen, where Dad was holding Grey and stirring something in boiling water.

"Hey, Pumpkin," Dad smiled, mine and Grey's dimples, black eyes and hair, and caring face shining through. He sat Grey on the counter and hugged me tight. "I heard about what's going on- that's rough, bud."

I smiled, hugging my muscular father who looks a lot like me but with grey sideburns. He had always called me Pumpkin- ever since I can remember. It's girly, yes, but that's the way it's always been.

"I'm making it, somehow," I said as he patted my back and let go of me.

"That's all you can do."

My dad was possibly one of my favorite people on Earth. He had raised me with a minor, yet such a huge roll in my life. He was gone a lot of my childhood, being in the Marines, but he retired in my teen years, when I was too far gone in my mother's strict, clean, and uniform lifestyle to be "fixed". He worked with what he had, though, and somehow we were really close. He dealt with my mom's bullshit, he dealt with my college expenses, he dealt with my marriage, he dealt with not being able to see me or Grey too much, and he dealt with a billion other things. He had even come and visited my house one day and met everyone- he and Kendall hit it off especially.

He wasn't unhappy when I was married to Bella, Carlos, James, and Kendall. He was happy that I was happy. And now, although he and Mom were glad I was getting divorced, he was upset that I was upset.

"How's the baby coming along?" he asked, stirring whatever was in the pot.

"It's a boy- I think I told you that."

"Yeah, you mentioned it," Dad nodded. "Any ideas on names?"

"Eli Dustin," I said. Bella and I hadn't agreed on that, but the top names were Eli, Mika, and Bentley. Eli was my favorite, and she loved them all. We did know that the middle name would be Dustin.

"Gorgeous," my mom cooed.

"And how do YOU feel about the new baby?" Dad asked Grey. Strange- I had never thought about how Grey would feel.

Grey shrugged indifferently. He was used to new babies taking up all of Mommy's attention, but not mine. I wondered how he would take having to share me.

* * *

I was enjoying just relaxing with my son and parents. I had no paperwork to worry about, no calls to take, nothing to do but just sit and play with Grey. He seemed excited about it- Daddy didn't have to spend an hour or two in the office before he could play.

We were outside in the snow before dinner. I know, strange for me, but I had forgotten about how much fun it could be.

We were making a snowman in the front yard, Grey's little cheeks and nose red from the cold but he insisted he wanted to stay outside. Honestly, my hands were frozen and despite the gloves, I couldn't feel them. I guess I just loved seeing Grey so happy, so I didn't do anything about it.

We were putting rocks on for eyes just as a car pulled up- a familiar car.

"KENNY!" Grey squealed, taking off in the snow as someone got out of the car. I slowly rose to my feet as I watched Kendall crouch down and hug my son, kissing his face all over. On the other side of the car, Carlos got out of the passenger seat, smiling and waving at me as he went around the front of the car.

"Carlos!" Grey said happily, overrun with excited emotions as Carlos picked him up and whirled him in a little circle. The guys had always been a big part of Grey's life, much more than I was in Parker's or Georgia's lives.

As they hugged, Kendall stood beside the car, staring at me staring at him.

I wanted so desperately to go hug him, smell him, kiss him… But he hated me as far as I knew.

Carlos soon came toward me, Grey on his hip. Kendall trailed behind slowly.

"What're you guys doing here?" I asked as Carlos gave me a one-armed hug around the shoulders.

"Just missed you is all," Carlos beamed.

"Carlos, look at our snowman!" Grey said excitedly, pointing to our little snowman on the lawn. Carlos took him over to look at it, leaving only Kendall and I.

"Hey," he said quietly, looking down at his feet. I said nothing, not knowing really what to say. Finally he looked up at me. "I miss you."

I smiled a little and nodded.

"And I'm sorry… That I was an asswipe to you," he said guiltily. "I wouldn't expect you to want to take me back after that."

I couldn't stop myself from slamming into him, hugging him around his neck. Suddenly I wasn't so sad. James' visit had helped out a lot, but I was still upset about Kendall. But now Kendall had kind of apologized and I could only assume he loved me again.

Kendall held me tight, his cheek pressed against the side of my hair.

"I'm sorry," I said quietly. "For what you've been through."

"Me? How have YOU been?" he laughed.

"I've been shitty," I sighed, backing from his hug. "But I'll make it."

"Logan?" I heard my mom call from the porch, obviously confused.

* * *

Dad and Kendal talked all through dinner, Carlos talking to my mom about food and such, me just sitting there, eating silently.

After dinner Grey took Carlos to see his room and stuff, so Kendall and I sat out on the front porch on the swing, which had to have the snow scraped off of it. It felt good to have his arm around me again, to be able to lay my head sleepily on his as we watched the snow fall through the light of the porch.

"Please come home," Kendall said after a minute, cutting through my relaxation. "We miss you like crazy- I'm tired of seeing Bella sad, I'm tired of seeing James sad, I'm tired of the kids being sad without Grey, I'M tired of being sad."

"It isn't that easy."

"Logan!" I could see Kendall getting angry and he stopped to compose himself. "Logan, you're the center of our family. You're our income, our last name, our wife's favorite, OUR favorite… You're our everything. You're MY everything."

"It shouldn't be like that," I said sternly, sitting up to look at him. "That's the whole reason I divorced her. Because you and James were my everything and it should have been Bella."

"Well that's stupid!"

I bolted to my feet, making for the door to the house. I was pissed! James had come to me just to BE with me, and we barely talked about the divorce! Why couldn't Kendall do that same?

"Loge!" Kendall pleaded. I was reaching for the door when ice took away my balance and I started to fall. Those trustworthy hands caught me, though, and Kendall turned me to look at him. I shrugged his hands away and crossed my arms.

"I can't pretend to love someone I don't," I said quietly.

"But in a little while I won't be able to hug or kiss you. I won't be able to hold your hand anymore! Cause then I'm cheating on my wife," he said.

"James didn't question me," I said.

"When did you see James?"

"Last night."

Kendall actually looked hurt, and his eyes dropped.

"What was I supposed to do, Kendall? I was lonely and depressed and he came to me because he knew I needed him. You were pissed at me!"

"Did you fuck?"

"No. We were in a hotel room with Grey! We just talked and watched TV. And he made me feel better- NOT worse, like you are now. He didn't tell me to go home- he respects my decision."

"That's because James is a dumbass," Kendall growled. He must have seen the hurt in my eyes because he sighed and rubbed his face. "I don't want to lose you."

"And you won't. The baby's coming soon, I'll be around a lot. Bella will always be Grey's and Eli's mother, and as long as I'm their father I'll be around."

"But not living with us. Not right down the hall, where I can sneak into your room and cuddle you to sleep," Kendall said pitifully. "You won't be my husband anymore."

I was silent, feeling like absolute shit. Kendall, if you couldn't tell, gets defensive and angry when he's hurt. And how could I be pissed off at someone who only wants to love me?

"If you come home- just a day…"

"No."

"You miss Bell more than you think! You'll see her and-"

"Honey…" I sighed.

"Do you not love me anymore?" he asked, eyes full of pure innocence.

My brows furrowed and I reached up to hold his face, on my toes so our noses almost touched with the help of him bending his neck.

"I love you a lot," I whispered.

"Not enough. You still love James, so you must not love me a whole lot."

"Bella loves you and Los and James and all those kids, and still she managed to love me, too," I laughed a little. "James isn't an issue. Can't I love you both with all my heart?"

"I don't like to share."

"Says the man who shares his wife with three other men. Two, I guess," I smiled.

"I don't like to share YOU."

"What does that tell you about how you really feel toward Bella?" I asked smartly. His jaw snapped shut, mouth in a line.

"Shut up, Logan. Just shut up."

"Why're you so pissed off at me? JESUS! I missed you so bad, and you come here and just yell at me!"

Kendall huffed and looked out over the dark yard.

"We should go," he said quietly before trying for the door, me stopping him. No way- I wasn't about to let him leave angry.

"Do you understand where I'm coming from?" I asked.

"Whatever, Logan."

"No! Not whatever. Do you get that I love you a whole lot and that I felt horrible for leading Bella on? Do you get that?"

"I get it, dammit!" Kendall snapped. "I just don't like it."

I recoiled, knowing what he could do when angry. He sighed and ran his hand through his hair.

"Well there's nothing you can do about it… And if you hate me for it, fine. Say so now so I don't get over one heartbreak only to meet another," I said quietly.

"I do hate you for it."

My heart sunk and I looked away, expecting him to go into the house and maybe never say another word to me. Instead he stepped closer, lifting my chin to look at him.

"I love you," he offered. I gave him a confused look- wait, didn't he just say he hated me? With that, he pressed his lips to mine, filling me with sick happiness. "I hate to love you, but I do."

Suddenly I couldn't take another goodbye.

I grabbed the zippers of his coat, looking up at him in a panic.

"Don't leave me," I pleaded. "I'm lonely. I'm depressed. I- I-"

"Then come WITH me."

I was silent then, thinking. What if I did go with him? Grey would be so happy- he would be able to play with the other kids for the remainder of the night. Bella would be happy- maybe. James would be overjoyed, and Kendall, too. I would be relieved. But… I had to be strong through this. Resist the temptations of having a happy Christmas with my family. Resist going home and having a glorious fuck with whoever claimed me for the night. Resist going home and pressing my ear to my wife's belly, hearing my baby in there. Resist getting a back rub and being told they were glad I was home. I had to resist.

Kendall nodded, taking my silence as a no.

"I hate to hear that you're depressed," he said. "And I wish I could stay the night here and sleep with you… But I have to get home."

I nodded sadly and he gave me a long kiss, in which his sly, horny ways didn't change as his hands grabbed my ass to pull me closer. I had to giggle a little at that.

"I love you, Dr. Mitchell," he murmured, giving me short and sweet kisses. I'm not sure why he thought I liked to be called Dr. Mitchell- I've never insinuated that- but he called me that sometimes.

"I love you, too," I said. He gave me a final kiss before opening the door and we stepped into another world, where we weren't in love, no way, no how.

* * *

I knelt before Grey's bed as he settled in.

"Daddy?" he said, snuggling into the blankets on his side.

"Yeah, baby?"

"I had fun with you today," he said. I smiled, because, well, I had had a lot of fun today, too.

"Me, too. What was your favorite part?"

"When we built the snowman and I hit you with a snowball," he giggled mischievously. "How come Grandpa calls you 'Pumpkin'? That's what Kenny calls Georgie."

"I dunno, bud. He's called me that since I was born," I laughed. "Is that too girly?"

"Yeah."

"YES?" I acted surprised and offended, standing and making my son burst into adorable giggles as I tickled him.

"No! Stoppit, Daddy!" he squealed, squirming. I stopped tickling him to kiss his face and his little arms wrapped around my neck to hug me.

"I love you, Grey," I said into his little shoulder.

"Love you," he said. "You smell like the hospital."

I laughed. He said that a lot- Bella did, too. No matter how many showers I took I would always smell like antiseptics and latex gloves.

"You smell like green apple shampoo and baby wipes," I noted. He wasn't still in diapers- he was mostly potty trained, but wore Pull-Ups at night in case of an accident. I guess that's where the baby wipes scent came from.

"Tell Kenny and Los that I love them," he said. Kendall and Carlos were still there, talking to my parents. They had already tucked them in so to speak, but Grey could never say "I love you" too much, I guess.

"I will," I smiled and he gave me a sloppy kiss on the lips before letting me stand.

"Sweet dreams," I sang as I turned off the lights, leaving the door open to let light in. He was afraid to sleep alone- he shared a room with Bentley back home. I knew that he would come into my room later tonight and climb into my bed, but for now I hoped he would fall asleep until I could get to bed. He must be exhausted- after a day at the ER he only got a nap in the car before we were at my parent's house and he was going again.

I found Kendall in my bedroom, looking around at hockey trophies and old pictures. I had lived in that room from birth to about twenty years old.

"Hey, you. What're you doing here?" I asked, closing the door.

"Waiting on you, silly boy. Los got caught up with your parents showing them pictures of the kids and I think they went to bed. Los is watching TV in your living room."

"You don't wanna keep him waiting," I said flirtatiously, wrapping my arms around his waist.

"He'll be fine," he breathed as his kissed me.

Some things you should know about my sex life.

James was smooth and gentle, but sometimes he liked to get kinky, with tying people to the bed or using cock rings. James normally topped, but there were times when he wanted me to, and I didn't complain. Bella was a moaner and an orderer- always telling you what she wanted. Kendall, however, was all rough all the time. He always topped when he was feeling rough, but when he wanted love making, I topped. He loved to slam me places and make me yell his name and slap my ass and make me tell him I liked it. Well, he did that with me, I couldn't imagine Bella taking that from anyone, though.

And so he was proving now.

He had me slammed up against the wall, holding my leg up on his so he could grind on me and practically suck my face off. Don't get me wrong- I love it- but sometimes I had to tell him to calm down when he was hurting me. That took a lot, though.

"I missed your cute little ass," he whispered, sticking his tongue down my throat. His hands squeezed my ass, making me squeal into his mouth.

"I bet you did," I giggled. He nipped at my lip as he gave a mighty thrust, making me yell. Jesus- that friction drove me nuts and he knew it. His hand clamped over my mouth, but it was too late.

There was a tap on the door.

"Daddy? Are you okay?" Grey called. The doorknob jiggled and I knew he was struggling with opening the door. Kendall sighed and gave me one last sloppy, suck-on-your-mouth kiss before going to open the door.

Grey entered, looking concerned.

"I'm okay, bud," I assured, trying to compose myself.

"I thought a monster got you," he said, dark eyes full of worry.

"No- me and Daddy were just playing," Kendall assured, standing behind Grey, the child's head only coming up to his waist.

"That room is scary," Grey said to me. I sighed internally, knowing I was about to make a huge sacrifice in the name of being a father.

"Why don't you sleep in here with me?" I suggested. "There's no monsters in here."

Grey looked around suspiciously and Kendall gave me a WHAT THE FUCK look. I pursed my lips apologetically as I picked Grey up and laid him in my old bed.

"I gotta go walk Kenny and Los to their car- I'll be right back," I said to him. "Try to go to sleep."

"Daddy, no! I'm scared!" Grey pleaded, sitting up. I sighed, knowing how he felt. He got his crazy imagination from Bella, but I was afraid of sleeping alone when I was a kid, too. Fortunately back then Dad was gone and Mom was lonely, so she let me sleep with her sometimes when I got scared. I knew that childish fear burning in his black eyes- I knew what it was like to desperately want someone to protect you from your imagination.

"Okay," I nodded. "I'll stay here."

Grey laid back down and watched me with intense eyes, making sure he didn't fall asleep and I didn't leave him alone. I sighed and hugged Kendall.

"Sorry, babe," I said, taking in his scent one last time. "James is a good fuck, though."

"Yeah right," Kendall laughed. They had fucked before, I knew they had, but I imagined James hadn't been in the mood lately and neither had Kendall.

"Bell gives a helluva blowjob," I laughed, pulling back to kiss him.

"If only she wasn't pregnant and moody," Kendall sighed. "Can't get anything outta that chick lately."

We laughed together and he moved to the bed to bend and give Grey a kiss before rubbing his nose with the child's and leaving.

I closed the door, the remainder of my stiffy gone as I turned on the light, the old blue and green lava lamp that I turned on a while ago glowing as I lay behind Grey. I cuddled into his back and he hugged my forearm, watching the mesmerizing wax in the lava lamp dance and split. I wanted him to be an adorable 3-year-old forever. A little kid who looked at his doctor father like Superman and who believed in monsters and Santa Claus and the Easter Bunny, who still had his little adorable baby teeth and dimples to kill and tiny fingers that he liked to keep clean but wasn't afraid to get dirty. With his dark hair combed neatly to the side and his flawless pale face being interrupted by rosy cheeks. Who didn't care that his father was gay- it only made him know it was okay to give his own father and uncles (sorta) kisses and let his dad cuddle him like this and wipe his ass and help him bathe. He knew that it was okay to kiss his half-brothers and hug them, because they were innocent brothers. I never wanted him to grow up, because when he did, he would be such a lady's man- a heartbreaker- with his dimples and charisma and brains. He would fight me and tell me he hates me and wear ripped clothes and have sex and kiss girls and hell, maybe even boys. He would fight with Bella and Bella would fight back- she would have too many teens by then to worry about what she said to HIM. He wouldn't let me hug him anymore. He wouldn't be afraid of being alone anymore. He would trade his action figures for video games and trade his Cars movie for porn.

I know because I spent a lot of time as a teenager and I did a lot of that.

"Grey?" I whispered.

"Hm?"

"I love you."

"Love you."

His little fingers tugged gently on my arm hairs and pulled on my fingers a little longer before he just laid his cheek against my palm and slept, his arms wrapped around my forearm.

* * *

**So as you can tell, Kendall's a lot more difficult than James. James just wants to be loved and goes with the flow and Kendall argues and gets mad about junk. :D Also a lot of Greyson happiness. Hope you loved it!**


	5. Goodbye

I helped Grey dress a few days later in a little red t-shirt and jeans.

"When will he be here?" he asked excitedly as I sat him on the bed so I could slip on his socks. James was coming to pick Grey up to spend the week at their house.

"Just a few minutes," I laughed. I was sad he was leaving me, but glad that he would be back with his mother and siblings and the guys. I knew he was bored here with me. Plus I was excited to see James.

"Are you excited to go home?" he asked me. I looked up, suddenly sad.

"I'm not going home, baby. I'm staying here. We've been over this."

"But I want you to come with me."

I sighed and got up, picking him up and taking him to the kitchen where my dad was making coffee. My mom was at work.

"Morning, boys," he said gruffly as I sat Grey in a chair at the table.

"Morning," I breathed, getting out a bowl and some of my mom's Cheerios out for Grey. Dad sat at the round table across from Grey as I poured cereal into a bowl, then milk before sitting it in front of my son.

"I don't like this," Grey groaned, stirring the cereal. I didn't blame him- does anybody REALLY like unsweetened Cheerios?

"Don't complain, Greyson," I grumbled, taking a sip of my coffee and sitting. "It's good for you."

"You never whined like that," Dad noted to me.

"He's spoiled," I sighed. "Normally he doesn't whine- he's just going through a lot and he's used to me coddling him lately."

"That's not good for him, Logan," Dad sang.

"Well he'll go home in a while and go back to being one of five kids and four adults that need attention and he'll be back to normal."

Grey ate some of his breakfast, but not a lot before James arrived. My dad hugged him goodbye before I walked him out to the car.

James greeted me with a much-needed hug. He gave me a James kiss that nearly made my knees weak before he let me go. I squatted in the snow to hug Grey.

"C'mon, Daddy," he said happily, tugging at my coat toward the car. I pulled him back to me and waited for his eyes one mine.

"I have to stay here and look for a house to live in," I explained once again. "I'll see you in seven days."

Suddenly I guess it clicked in the little boy's head because he looked very offended.

"You don't love me anymore?"

Dammit! Why does everyone assume that? I smiled sadly and rubbed my nose with his.

"I'll always love you, baby, but this is the way it has to be," I said with an encouraging smile, despite the horrible pain in my chest. "You can call me any time on Jamie's phone, okay?"

Then I saw- the LOOK. The look that every parent dreads seeing, the look that breaks hearts, the look that makes you want to kneel down and plead for forgiveness.

The look where Grey's pink lip puffed out a little and tears pooled into his black eyes.

I quickly pulled his face to my chest, hugging him tight.

"Don't cry!" I pleaded, knowing tears would only make this harder. I heard him let out a pitiful sob and whimper, muffled by my coat. I looked up at James, begging for help, but he threw his hands up in surrender.

"It'll be okay, Grey!" I said, pulling him away to look at his face, all red and tear-stricken, his little lip jutted out and brows furrowed. I whined and peppered his face with kisses. His little hands reached up to touch my face and I gave a big sloppy kiss to his lips. Damn. Not even a tiny smile. I hated that fucking LOOK!

"Aren't you excited to go play with Georgie? And Bent and Annie and Parker?" I offered, wiping his tears away with my thumbs. He nodded a little in admittance. I hugged him and picked him up, James opening the back door to the van and I sat Grey in his car seat.

"I wanna sleep with you, though," he said sadly as I buckled him up.

"But you'll have Bent with you at home," I said. "And I bet you Jamie or Kenny or Mommy or Los would let you sleep with them."

"It's not the same."

"I know," I sighed, running my hand through his hair. I had never had to separate from him before- it was only a week, but to him, seven days without Daddy was hell. "Take care of everyone for me, okay? You're the doctor of the house now."

I kissed his forehead and stepped back into the snow, facing James.

"Don't cry," he giggled. I rolled my eyes- I wasn't even close to crying- and hugged him.

"Take care of him," I said. "He's my baby."

"You know I will."

We hugged for a long time until I sighed and pulled myself away.

"I guess let's get this over with," I grumbled. He kissed me once more before getting into the driver's seat. I kissed Grey one last time before sliding closed the door.

I stood staring at my son through the tinted window. My Greyson, whose tiny hand was pressed against the glass as he screamed, tears streaming down his face. The van started rolling and I blew a kiss to it as Grey tried desperately to escape his seat, his screams audible from outside.

Soon the car was gone and I was stuck with a rip in my heart and tears just about ready to escape. Dammit- I'm a DOCTOR! I've seen plenty of kids cry. I've seen bone sticking through the skin of a shin. I've popped shoulders back into place. I've been puked on. I've been yelled at. I should be able to take my son leaving me with tears running down his cute little face and screams rolling from his mouth!

I wasn't even in the house when my phone rang. James.

"Hello?"

"DADDY!" Grey whaled. I slapped my hand over my face- when I said call anytime, I assumed he would wait until he was home at least. "I forgot to say I love you!"

I couldn't believe James had given up his phone for this. Then again, James was a sweetie pie and nobody could resist Grey.

"You did forget, didn't you?" I said in surprise. Grey NEVER forgot. He basically said "I love you" instead of "thank you". He said it before bed, before I went to work, before anyone left, if one of the kids got hurt, randomly when he just hadn't said it lately. It was basically his catch phrase. Turn on a movie for him: I love you. Go out to get the mail: I love you. Stressed out after work: I love you. And dammit, if you said it first he almost always had to outdo you and say "I love you more". It was surprising that he forgot to say it to me before he left. "I love you, sweetie."

"I love you too, Daddy," he said sadly. "And Jamie says he loves you."

"Tell him I love him, too."

* * *

Over the next few days, I didn't see anyone I loved but my parents.

I did a lot of apartment searching and found a few leads. Of course, being a doctor, I could afford a good one, even with what I will have to pay for child support on my sons once I was divorced.

I spent a few days with Dad- we went to a hockey game and worked on his buddy's car (even though I know nothing about cars, I found that I could connect a lot of it to human anatomy and learned a few things), went to apartment buildings to check them out, which helped me narrow my search, and bought a lot of furniture, which we transported in his truck. It was good to reconnect with him- I could see in his eyes that somehow he was proud of me. Every time I talked about work, he lit up, every time I talked about Grey or James or Kendall or Bella or Carlos or the kids, he lit up.

I found an apartment only ten minutes from Bella's and the guys' house. I was glad to be so close.

It was a fancy apartment house. The hallways and stairs were outdoors and the apartments were big. I wasn't lucky enough to get a yard, but I was happy with my 3rd floor apartment- 333. Yes- apartment 333 on floor 3.

I could move in that weekend. It was crazy that I could do so so fast, but my apartment had been vacant for a while.

I was lonely, being away from my sons and husbands and Bella- Jesus I missed Bella- but it was good to have alone time, too. It sounds girly, but I took a bubble bath, and that helped me wind down a lot.

There was only tomorrow left before I got Grey back and I could move into the apartment, which meant I got to see the guys because they were helping me. I was excited for it.

* * *

**So many feels, I know, I know. :D I hope you loved this chapter- it was sad, but I liked writing it. Call me sick, but I did. **


	6. Moving Day

"Daddy!" Grey cheered as I knocked on the door to Bella's and the guys' house. He opened the door and was now hugging my legs.

I squatted down to hug him, grateful for his familiar scent, familiar voice, familiar feel. We had talked every night on the phone, but I still missed the little booger.

I pulled him up with me as the guys made their ways to the door. Grey's arm wrapped around my neck, bulky by his coat, and his head laid on my shoulder. The guys greeted me as they put on their coats, and the kids came up to the door to give me hugs around the legs. I smiled, happy to see everyone again, and my eyes wondered behind Carlos' shoulder to Bella in the distance in PJ's, looking excited to see me, even though we couldn't talk.

I waved a little to her, and her smile widened as she twiddled her fingers. I couldn't believe how cheerful she was toward me- shouldn't she be pissed?

The guys had already packed all of my shit into Carlos' truck, so we were ready to rumble.

Kendall and Carlos were in the truck, James and Grey riding with me in the car. I was about to lift Grey into the back seat when he yelled "STOP! I forgot something!"

With that, he ran back to the house, almost slipping, and disappeared back in the house. Soon he came back out, a deep red piece of fabric in his hands. He allowed me to buckle him in then, and I realized that the fabric was my University of Minnesota t-shirt, a big yellow M in the middle, with "University of Minnesota" beneath it. I hadn't worn that for a while.

I sat in the driver's seat beside James and started the car. He leaned over the console and I smiled and gave him a peck on the lips.

"What's with the shirt?" I asked him, tilting my head to Grey.

"He found it when he got home and he hasn't left it alone since," James said, looking back at Grey, who was playing with a Hot Wheel back there, the shirt in his lap. "I guess he missed you. And he says it smells like you."

My heart melted as I looked back at Grey. His black eyes caught mine and he gave a dimply grin.

"Love you," he sang. I had to grin back.

"Love you, too."

* * *

I had to admit- seeing my James and Kendall with their bulging muscles as they carried things in was pretty cool. They got hot upon starting and removed their coats, their sweat basically freezing on their bodies when we went outside. Carlos was built, too, and yeah, he was sexy as hell, but I couldn't touch him.

It was about seven when we got finished, and we all sat on the floor and ate pizza.

My new apartment was pretty badass, I have to admit. It had a bedroom for me, a bedroom for the boys (when Eli decided to come out) a big kitchen with chrome appliances, a big living room, and a big bathroom. I really liked the fancy colored paint, the shag carpets, the chrome appliances, the tiled floor, the big bathtub in the bathroom. I loved it all.

"We need a TV," Grey said as he ate.

"I bought a new one- it's over there. We just have to hook it up and get cable," I said.

After everyone was done eating, we just sat there in a little circle of men (and a boy) with the open pizza box filled with crusts in the middle and Grey in my lap. He had wiped his fingers on my college t-shirt.

"Do you miss Bells?" James asked, lying on his back, his head in Carlos' lap.

"Actually, I do," I admitted, smoothing down Grey's hair. "It's weird, but like I miss her voice."

"Then you should come home," Kendall sang.

"Yeah!" Grey chimed.

"C'mon, man," James said to Kendall. "Don't make em feel worse."

"You don't want him back?"

"Kendall," Carlos said as if he were a mother having to listen to hours of her children's bickering. "Please?"

Kendall rolled his eyes and looked at me.

"I miss home. Like, it's weird not having a hundred kids running around me all the time, and it's weird not having guys and Bella hanging onto me and having a big dinner with a bunch of people," I sighed. "And Grey- I feel like absolute crap that he started carrying around my shirt."

"He missed you," Kendall noted.

"He's never been away from me for more than a day," I said. "I mean, I'm glad he found comfort in it, but he shouldn't have to."

An hour later, Carlos was leaving. James and Kendall were staying a little longer and I would drive them home later. Carlos wanted to get home to make sure Bella had someone to help tuck the kids in and to sleep with- she had been going to be early lately.

Grey had fallen asleep on the floor, his head on his t-shirt, and so I carried him off to the mattress in his bedroom and put a blanket over him. He didn't even wake up to say he loves me- he was knocked out.

I closed the door and returned to find James picking up the pizza box and napkins, Kendall in the kitchen checking it out.

I decided to go to the kitchen, James following.

"You know, there was one night when Bells didn't wanna sleep with any of us," Kendall said as I helped him put glasses in a cabinet. "But she ended up getting Grey to sleep with her. He was in cuddling with James and she stole him."

"It's because Grey's exactly like his daddy," James smirked, leaning on the counter. I turned to him, looking confused. I felt arms around me from behind, knowing Kendall was feeling possessive and didn't want James to make a move. Kendall's chin rested on the top of my head, his crotch pressed against to top of my ass.

"Oh, c'mon, Loge. He looks just like you, he acts just like you, he's a clone," he said simply.

"I bet the new baby will be, too," James said simply.

"His name is Eli Dustin," I said.

"Yeah?"

"SHE doesn't know that, but I do," I said.

"It's cute. Eli Dustin- I have a buddy named Dustin."

"Since when?" I laughed.

"Since high school."

I giggled and shook my head- I had never met this "Dustin" guy.

Suddenly James was closer, Kendall's arms tighter around me. I guess that now that I was almost single, he didn't consider me both of their husband. He wanted me all to himself, but I guess that's too bad.

"I miss those dimples," James said pitifully.

"Kendall has dimples."

"But he's not you."

I accepted his sweet kiss and was surprised when he broke it and lifted his face to kiss Kendall, too. They had kissed before, they had fucked before, whatever. But it still surprised me.

I could tell that it surprised Kendall, too. James left, not thinking anything of it.

"C'mon- Logie's tired," he called.

Before I could follow, Kendall stopped me.

"Should I leave?" he asked. I turned, a confused expression on my face.

"No way. Stay here."

* * *

After making sure Grey was still safe and asleep, I went into my own bedroom to find Kendall sitting on the mattress against the wall, James exploring the room. I sat beside Kendall and let him cuddle me closer and put his arm around me.

"This is a badass place," James said, lying on the mattress with his head on my hip, almost my crotch, and his arm hugging one of my legs.

"Christmas is coming up," I noted.

"Yeah… Christmas Eve is tomorrow," Kendall laughed. "Where've YOU been?"

"Shit! Are you serious? I haven't gotten any presents!"

"It's fine. Everyone knows you're busy with your own problems."

"I feel like shit now," I groaned. "Christmas at my parents' is tomorrow and my whole family'll be there and normally Bell comes with me, but I guess she won't be this year."

"I'll go with you!" James volunteered chivalrously.

"They don't know I'm gay," I laughed, petting his hair. "Besides- you've gotta take Bentley to your own parents' house, right?"

"Yeah, yeah."

I sat and thought about this holiday season. Normally Christmas Eve was spent at my parents' house. Then after a while Bella would say that she had to go to work, and she would go to James' parents' house. Somewhere in there she went to Kendall's mom's, then that night she had dinner with Carlos' family. Needless to say, Christmas Eve was stressful for her. But Christmas Day was happy- we got to open gifts with the kids and Carlos made a big breakfast and we would spend a lot of time playing with the kids and their new toys, then we would go to Bella's family's farm, where her sister and brother both had two or three spouses and a shitload of kids and spend the rest of the day there. Then at the end of the night the kids would be asleep and we would drink egg nog (with a little… KICK to it) and watch Christmas movies.

This year it would only be Grey and I at my apartment on Christmas, then I would drop him off at their house and pick him up that night.

"James, I thought you were a Jew," Kendall retorted. "Why does your family have Christmas?"

"TECHNICALLY I'm Jewish, but not the rest of my family. My dad was a Jew, but who's seen him lately? Not me," James grumbled. "I was practically raised Christian, but technically I'm a Jew."

I watched his finger discreetly trace over my penis- I had NO idea how he knew where it was- and electricity shot through me. When was the last time I was touched? I mean by someone besides a flirty nurse who grabs my ass or "accidentally" brushes my dick in the office area. And it didn't help that it was James touching me- he acted like he didn't know he was sexy, but I knew he did.

My hand ran over the back of his hair, down his warm neck, and into the neck of his shirt. I knew that Kendall saw, but I didn't give a damn. If he wanted me, he would have to deal with the fact that I loved James, too.

Although I was pissed. James couldn't get me riled up only to leave me. And what could we do with Kendall there?

"Um… I have to pee," Kendall said quietly, getting up and going out of the room to get to the bathroom. James popped up, sat on my legs, unbuttoned my pants, and gave me a mischievous smile.

"He's gonna be back in a second," I warned.

"So?"

With that, James' hand darted into my pants like a kid reaching into a trick-or-treat bag to get something from the bottom. I gasped, wanting to tell him to stop, but DAMN his hand was warm in there.

"I need you," he said, cupping me with his hand, making my stomach clench.

"We can't," I said unconvincingly. "Kendall's here."

"So what?"

I looked up to find Kendall standing in the doorway, looking awkward.

"Um… I guess I'll just-" I would tell he was pissed off, but what was he gonna do about it?

"No, we should be going," I said and James gave me a pout before removing his hand from my pants. "Will you go get Grey?"

I got up and buttoned up my pants as Kendall left.

"Why don't you wanna fuck me?" James pouted.

"I do- you know I do," I assured. "But… This isn't the right place."

Damn. I wasn't sure if I would be able to make it much longer without SOME release. I know I sound like a horny bastard, but I had had sex at least once a week for a long time. It had been almost three weeks since I last did it, and I was going nuts.

* * *

**A weird chapter, I know. Next one'll be cute. So, is there anyone opposed to mild sexual-ness? I'm not going into detail for this one, but I want there to be some sort of sexual content.**


	7. Santa Visits

**So I got WAY carried away with this, so I split it up into 2! I hope you love it, it's a Christmas present! (there'll be other chapters before Xmas, but this one's Christmas themed)**

**It gets kinda sexual toward the end, and maybe a little kinky, but it's completely okay because everyone loves everyone and its totes alright. You'll see. :D**

* * *

I parked on the side of the road in front of my parents' house, feeling horrible that we were obviously the last to arrive. I told Mom I'd be there early to help set up, but I might have maybe overslept and maybe Grey even woke up before me. I was having a REALLY good dream, guys, and frankly I was pissed when I woke up. MAYBE I was having a dream about me and James AND Kendall doing dirty things. And maybe I had to change my underwear when I got up.

Anyway, now I was fresh and looking good to see my family. My son was in the back seat, his dark hair neatly combed and a little sweater vest on beneath his coat.

I got out of the car and picked him out of his seat.

"Will there be pizza?" he asked excitedly as I walked us down the shoveled sidewalk (which I had done a few days ago, but I suspected Dad touched up recently).

"Nope. No pizza. I think there'll be turkey. You like turkey."

"And mac 'n cheese?"

"I'm sure there'll be some. If everyone else didn't eat it first," I nodded. I climbed the steps and opened the door, talking and chatter pouring out through the opening as I stepped into the warm house. We took off our coats and hung them up before I picked him up again to go through the crowd. He was a bit shy with people like my family who he doesn't see often.

The usual happened- my aunts and uncles and grandparents and cousins made comments like "Oh, Greyson, you're so big! You look just like your daddy did at your age!" and he would give a shy and dimply smile and they would ask me how work was, and then the dreaded question. "So where's Bella?"

I always replied with a polite "We're actually getting divorced". They would act surprised and sad for me, and ask why. I would say something like "We just grew apart", and they would touch their hearts and say they were sorry. Then they would mention that they thought that my mother had told them that Bella was pregnant again, and I would have to say "Yes, our son is due next month- the 23rd", and I would tell them his name and they would say that they couldn't wait to meet him someday- "probably next Christmas" they would laugh, and I would laugh and say that I had to find Mom.

Finally I found Mom in the kitchen, and Grey hugged her happily.

"Make your plates," she said.

"Do you need help with anything?" I asked, watching Grey go to the buffet set up and grab a Christmas paper plate, cowering away from a few people there to wait for me.

"I've got it all," she assured. "Go help Grey."

I filled a plate with little portions of what Grey likes before making myself some food. We ate at the dining room table with my dad, who was talking to other people there.

I did have a good time, and after Grey got more comfortable he started talking more to people. I just missed Bella there by my side, talking to everyone and laughing and winning their hearts like she had mine. With her there, I hardly had to talk. But now I had more than ever to tell everyone who I spoke to- about the divorce, the baby on the way, the new apartment, work, Grey, everything.

In the midst of it all, my grandmother happened to point out a grey hair up front in the sea of black hair on my head.

Shit. Seriously? 30 years old and I have a GREY?

"It's just because you're a doctor, honey, doctors get very stressed out and age faster," she insisted.

Gee, thanks Grandma, for your soothing words.

Finally Grey was falling asleep, his head in my lap. Naptime.

I carried him off to my old bedroom and laid him in the bed to sleep. When I came back, I got sucked into a glass of apple wine that my grandpa made. Hm- Bella loved apple wine. I wasn't sure why I was thinking about Bella so much today. Probably just because I was used to her being at this event with me and it was weird without her.

Two glasses later, Grey came out sleepily, his hair messy, and sat on my lap on the couch. I laughed and smoothed down his hair. Nooo, I wasn't DRUNK. I may have been just a bit loopy, but not drunk. Being a doctor, I knew how to keep myself sober. I, however, may or may not have drunk one too many glasses. But now that Grey was up, no more.

"Is that apple juice?" he asked sleepily, sticking his nose in my glass and making a sour face. "No, it's not."

I gave the rest of the wine to my cousin, Cindy, and took Grey to get some real apple juice and pie.

"You two are just adorable," Cindy said as I cut a piece of apple pie and fed it to Grey on the couch. "You look exactly alike. Well, other than Logie's shiny silver hair."

"You just have to keep bringing it up," I retorted. She stuck her tongue out at me and I mocked her.

"I can pull it out for you," she offered.

"Pulling your hair out isn't good. And that's coming from a doctor," I said smartly.

"Neither is three glasses of apple wine," she giggled.

* * *

Grey was out cold by the time we got home. I felt bad waking him up, but he had a lot of sugar that day and I had to brush his teeth.

He sat groggily on the sink. It was only six, but he was a three-year-old who spent the day eating pie and cookies and candy and talking to basically strangers, so he was tired as all hell.

I had to hold his back as I brushed his teeth, because he kept dozing off. He was barely awake for me to change his clothes, but when I put him on the mattress and covered him up, he woke up.

"Daddy?"

"Yeah, baby?" I asked, kneeling on the floor.

"Will Santa find me here?"

"I sent him a letter telling him to leave the presents here," I nodded. "They'll be there when you wake up."

"Kay. I love you."

"I love YOU."

I bent to kiss his forehead and he rolled over, instantly asleep. I hummed some Christmas tune as I went to the cabinet high above the fridge and pulled out wrapped gifts. Then I went to the top shelf of the towel closet and retrieved the rest.

"To: Greyson From: Santa" was written on all the tags. They were typical little boy gifts- a remote-control car (Lightning McQueen, of course), action figures, Hot Wheels, blah blah blah. But there was one that was marked from me, and it was a picture my mother had taken when we stayed at her house of Grey and I. I was knelt down behind him, hugging him to my chest, both of us giving identical dimply grins. I figured that if Grey missed me so much in the week we was away, he would want something of his own to soothe him when he was missing me other than the shirt. I had the same one and I planned to prop it up on the night stand in my bedroom when it got here.

After arranging the gifts on a coffee table with a tiny Christmas tree on it, I went to my own bedroom, guessing I would get some reading or something done. I was sort of down in the dumps- I knew this wouldn't be the ideal Christmas for my Grey. Maybe I would call Kendall or James.

I was stunned, however, to find someone already in my room.

"Hello, darling," James said happily, sitting on my bed, shirtless, reading some Anatomy book from college, a Santa hat on his head. I smiled and closed the door. As I got closer, he tossed the book aside and stood, revealing red boxers with a black belt and golden buckle and white cuffs on the bottom decaled on. I giggled as he gave me a charming smirk.

"Like?" he asked, gesturing to his tones, tan body and Santa boxers. VERY sexy, might I add.

"Sorry, I didn't get the memo," came another voice, and I jumped. Behind me stood Kendall, clad in simple green and blue plaid boxers. "Didn't know we were doing Christmas-themed shit."

My smile dropped.

"Is this an ambush?" I asked.

"Yes," Kendall nodded. "Lose the clothes."

And suddenly I realized. No longer were they two men visiting me before Christmas.

"Oh my GOD! What's going on?" I squeaked, backing away from the guys. I was repulsed. Yeah- I had a wet dream about our threesome, but real life? Sex was a beautiful thing between two people in love. But THREE?

"See? I told you he wouldn't like it," Kendall growled, crossing his arms.

"Just wait," James smirked, stepping forward. I jumped, a hand on my button- James had fast fingers and he had a knack for undoing pants in seconds without you noticing.

Kendall snatched me and hugged me protectively to his bare chest.

"He's not into it, James, let it go," Kendall said sternly. Ah, yes. Kendall- always so powerful in his emotions. He was wearing cologne on his skin and I could smell it on his chest.

Suddenly I felt a hard body pressed against my back, James' hands on my hips as he nipped my ear.

"We'll use condoms," he offered. I always wanted to use condoms, knowing full and well that nobody that my lovers had fucked had STDS, but I was a doctor after all. James, as you could imagine, never abode by my wants when it came to that.

He kissed my cheek from behind, and then he stopped. I could hear kissing noises, though, and it confused me. I lifted my head to find James kissing up Kendall's shoulder and neck. Damn that was hot. And, well, being smooshed between two crotches, I could tell they thought so, too.

Kendall's hands, cold and loving, slipped beneath my shirt, making me shiver.

Well, maybe I got sucked into it. And I have to tell you, it was hot as all get out. You know, James being "Santa" I sat on his lap. It was weird, but really, REALLY sexy.

I won't tell you all the details, because, well, I know I haven't been doing a very good job at this with all my "fucks" and "damns" and "shits", but I'd like to attempt to keep this PG 13.

Let's just say… I'm surprised Grey didn't come into the room asking if monsters got me.

Let's just say… We started at 6:15ish and ended at about 9.

I had no idea how Kendall went from not wanting James to touch me to kissing James, doing THINGS with James, telling James to do THINGS to me. But I have to say, seeing these two sexy men, who I love, all hot and sweaty, making out and doing dirty things was hot as hell.

At the end of it all, I had to put on some underwear, surprised to find that the ones I slipped on were huge Santa themed ones, and paced around, fanning myself, trying to cool down. James was laying face-down on the cold hardwood floor. Kendall was sprawled out on the bed, pushing his sweaty hair from his eyes.

I had to admit- I felt dirty. I just had a threesome- and we didn't even use protection. It was just bare, hot, kinky sex between three men and I couldn't believe I had done it.

But do I regret it at all?

Nope.

I opened the window to let in the cold Minnesota air before going to get water. I checked on Grey on my way back- he was fast asleep, snoring lightly.

James, too, was asleep on the floor, his massive chest heaving with quiet snores. I sat the water beside him, knowing he would be thirsty if he woke up, and preceded to straddle Kendall, twisting the top off of his water and handing it to him. We basically chugged in silence before I had enough and tossed the mostly empty bottle on the bed. Kendall soon followed.

"I bet I smell damn sexy right now," Kendall laughed.

"Could I interest you in a shower?" I asked, wiggling my brows.

"Only if you help."

With that, Kendall got up, effortlessly holding my ass to hold me as I giggled and we went off to shower. I felt bad to leave James out, but DAMN that guy had been through enough sexual activity for a night. For three months, probably. Not that Kendall and I did anything but shower, but it would turn into more with James.


	8. Panic Attack

I had fallen asleep in Kendall's arms but woke up to Grey shaking me, the room empty but us. I guessed James and Kendall went home.

"Santa came!" Grey whispered, dark eyes bright with childlike wonder. I was pleased to find that before leaving, one of my men had put a t-shirt and James' boxers on me instead of leaving me naked.

"He did?" I smiled, sitting up. It was 9 AM and snowing.

Grey pulled me to the kitchen where I gasped in pretend surprise.

I loved Christmas, when Grey sat in my lap and I helped him open gifts, loving the look on his face, the way he wanted to go play right NOW, even though he had other gifts to open.

I didn't give him my gift- I left it on the table. I wanted him to be calmed down when he opened it, so that he could fully appreciate it. I know, a three-year-old probably won't get excited over a picture in a frame, but I think he would really get something out of it. But right now he wanted to play with his new toys and I knew if he opened the picture now, he would only toss it aside and beg me to put batteries in something.

* * *

I pulled into Bella and the guys' driveway, parking in the snow. Grey was already unbuckling himself, so I hurried and opened the door.

"Hold on, honey, I have one more present for you. From me," I said softly, sitting on the drop-off of the van, half in, half out. Grey sat beside me and I presented him with the little silver-wrapped frame.

He tore it open and stared at it.

"I thought that you might like it, for when you're away from me and you miss me," I said, running my hand through his hair. "I have the same one."

At first I thought that he didn't like it, or didn't really see the meaning in it and my heart was breaking a bit. But then he sniffled and hugged it to his little coated chest. He looked up at me, but he wasn't crying- he only sniffled because of the biting cold.

"I love you, Daddy," he said softly. A warm grin spread across my face and I pulled him to me for a one-armed father-son hug. "I'll keep it under my pillow so when I get sad I can look at us."

My heart melted and I kissed his hair.

I walked him to the door and Carlos answered it.

"Hey, G-man!" Carlos smiled happily. I let Grey down to run along with Georgie.

"We have presents for you, man, come on in," Carlos said, pulling me in the warm house.

"I'm not supposed to be in here," I warned.

"You can't be alone for Christmas," Carlos sang, pushing me to the kitchen area.

My breath caught as Bella heard us coming and turned from where she and James were doing the dishes. She turned, clad one of Carlos' t-shirts over her huge belly and pink PJ pants with snowmen on them, her long blonde hair in a French braid down his back, which I knew Kendall had done. He learned to braid when Georgie was born, and it's proven useful.

We stared at each other for a while, restrained happiness in her blue eyes. I wasn't sure what expression I had on my face, but it made her laugh. Gosh I missed her.

"Merry Christmas, Logie. Logan," she corrected.

"Yeah, Merry Christmas, Logie!" Carlos said cheerfully, hugging my side tight. He then pulled my coat off of me and disappeared.

My eyes finally left Bella when Kendall came to hug me.

"How's your ass?" he whispered deviously.

"Pretty fucking sore, how's yours?"

"Same. Totally worth it."

"So um… I hear you've been having run-ins with my husbands," Bella said from the sink. From behind her, James shook his head furiously, mouthing "DON'T TELL HER!". I wasn't surprised that Bella didn't know that they had come over last night.

"Yeah, they've been visiting me, keeping me company," I nodded.

"They're sweet boys, aren't they?" Bella melted, elbowing James in the stomach, knowing he was making extremely sexy and erotic faces to Kendall and I. She shot him a look and he raised his hands in surrender. When she turned back to us, James pelvic thrusted the air behind her, Bella turning around and him freezing mid-thrust.

"I love you," he offered. She giggled and rolled her eyes.

"How's the apartment?" she asked, reaching behind her for James' hands and pulling him against her to be sure he wasn't doing anything bad. He laid his chin on the top of her head and I could tell James was content.

"Empty. None of my furniture has arrived yet," I laughed. "Grey and I are sleeping on mattresses on the floor."

"You should just stay here until everything gets there," Bella suggested.

I smiled a little, not knowing what to say.

"How's Eli?" I asked.

"E-" she began, confused, then realization crossed her beautiful features and she touched her belly. "Did you decide without me?"

"Is that okay?"

"It's perfect," she shrugged cheerfully. "He's great- I think he misses you, though, cause he's been really squirmy since you left. I'm ready for him to be OUT."

"He's squirmy because YOU miss me and your emotions and heartbeat and eating habits and blood pressure have been affected by it, and so is Eli," I said smartly. She smirked and rolled her eyes.

"Okay, Dr. Logan," she said sarcastically. "I think he just misses your voice and you touching him."

"Maybe," I laughed. Kendall pulled me away to get my gifts and I watched Bella turn to James and get to her toes for a kiss, him teasing her and not meeting her. She gave an irresistible pout and he grinned and gave her a jizz-in-your-pants kiss, although I suspect she didn't jizz in her pants. I wasn't sure how to feel about it- I was glad they were in love, but maybe a part of me was sad that I wasn't the only one who was kissed that way for the hell of it. Kendall was kissed that way last night, but James was seducing him then.

Kendall and I sat against the couch, Georgie and Grey bringing four little gifts to me, Kendall's arm around me. Georgie then sat in her father's lap, clad in little hockey PJ's that Kendall got her. Her little blonde curls were braided by her father and she laid her head on his collarbone as he kissed her hair. He was a fantastic father. They all were.

The first gift was from Bella. It was very small, and there was a note.

"I thought that you might want to sell it or something. I know it was expensive and I would feel bad keeping it."

I opened the box to see a little silver ring, three 10 karat diamonds encrusting them.

I proposed to her with this ring- in the snow at the park. It was so romantic and it's one of my favorite memories even now.

I got up, ignoring Kendall's gentle pleas to stay, and approached Bella, who was finishing the dishes. She had a new wedding ring now, that the guys and I picked out and bought it for her birthday. It was much more expensive than the original, which was in my hand now.

"You have to keep this," I said, opening my hand to reveal the ring. She looked at it, confused, the sighed and looked back up at me.

"Loge… It's got too many memories," she said softly. "If I keep it, it'll just collect dust somewhere."

"Then… Give it to Georgia or Annie when they get older," I suggested.

"Sell it."

"It's got too much meaning to me. Besides- I don't need the money. I've got plenty. If you sell it, I don't want to know."

She looked up and saw the seriousness in my eyes. She nodded and took the ring, putting it atop the fridge.

"C'mon, baby, come open MY present!" James cheered, pulling me away.

We sat in the same spot Kendall and I sat.

"I mean, you got a pretty nice package last night," he murmured flirtatiously. "Two, actually."

I elbowed his ribs, the kids nearby playing. I knew they wouldn't understand, but still.

His gift was very thoughtful. It was a Minnesota University shirt, sort of like the one Grey was driving trucks over right now, except more modern.

"I figured you might want one to wear," James laughed. I smiled hugely and kissed him a few times. Oh, and he also included a little picture of us a while back at some doctor's banquet. We were dressed nicely and he had an arm over my chest from behind me, making his weird hand symbol with only his pinky and thumb sticking out, his tongue out the side of his mouth, me smiling like a loser because I didn't know we were making faces.

"I love it," I melted and he kissed my temple.

Kendall's gift was a scrub shirt with hockey sticks, pucks, helmets, and goals all over it. I had to laugh- I couldn't see myself wearing it, but I would end up doing it anyway. There was also a love letter in there, well, I assumed it was, but I stuck it in my pocket for later. (I later read it and without boring you to death, he basically just told me how much he loves me and how hard it is without me, and all that stuff). Carlos' and the other part of Bella's gift was a letter from Bella (similar to Kendall's, but sadder), and a little thing to put on my desk which was really cool- it was made of wire and had stick people on it and it balanced on a really tiny pinnacle and I happened to love it.

At the end of it all, I found myself trying to hide tears from James. Of course he saw, because he always sees, and he put his arms around my torso and his head on mine, showing me "I'm here, but I won't force you to talk".

"I miss it here," I said quietly.

Grey looked up from where he and Bentley played on the floor and suddenly was up and standing beside me, looking at me with worry in his cute little black eyes.

"How come Daddy's sad?" he asked James. James' thumb rubbed my rib as he smiled a little at my son.

"He's just homesick," he answered.

"Oh," Grey accepted.

"I'm good, Grey," I assured. "Go play."

"Love you."

"I love you too."

He ran off and James turned his head to lay his forehead on my hair.

"It's not too late to come back," he sang.

I said nothing- I had been thinking the same thing. But no. I couldn't be a little pussy and come back because I was sad.

Suddenly there was a thump and a whale, ending in tears I could tell.

"That's mine," James grumbled, knowing Bentley's cry like any father knows the sound of his child's tears. He kissed my hair and hauled himself up. Bentley was only a little over a year old.

Grey was already at the scene where Bentley was sitting on the floor, tears in his hazel eyes and his little lip jutted out.

"Don't cry, Bent," Grey said, hugging his half-brother. "I love you!"

James picked Bentley up, kissing his face.

"What happened, Grey, my man?" he asked as he bounced Bentley.

"I didn't do it!" Grey insisted.

"I never said you did!"

Suddenly Grey looked very panicked, so I got up and went to him.

"Greyson Oliver, why is Bentley crying?" I asked, bending from behind him so that my face was upside down in front of his, my serious father look on my face. I knew Grey did something to the poor kid, or he wouldn't be so upset.

"I didn't mean to!" Grey pleaded, tears in his eyes.

"What did you do?"

Grey looked at me, contemplating telling me because he knew I would put him in time out.

"Pushed him…"

"Pushing is wrong, Greyson," I said lowly, dangerously. Innocent tears poured from his eyes and I knew he felt horrible about what he did. But still I picked him up from around the stomach and took him to his room to be alone. Yeah, kids do stupid shit all the time and accidents happen, but we always teach our kids to love one another and not be rough. Especially to the youngest member, Bentley.

I was upset already about the gifts, but now I was just about to have a mental breakdown. I hated- HATED- punishing my Grey. It wasn't a big deal- putting him in his room- but to him it meant that I was pissed at him and he hated that. That shit combined with all the other stresses whirling around in my head was too much.

Bella must have seen how upset I was when I passed because she caught my hand and pulled me back before I could get far. Her hands were so little and warm, but yet so strong and powerful.

"Bent was fine," she said lowly when I turned to her. "You know how babies are."

This had never happened to me- never- but I knew at this moment I was having a panic attack. My breathing was hard and labored, mind scrambled, tears in my eyes. Finally all this shit was catching up to me.

"Logan. BREATHE," she ordered, hands holding my face, eyes on mine. I saw in her eyes that she knew that I wasn't panicking about Grey. I was panicking about my life being absolute shit.

"I can't," I said pitifully. I felt a hand rubbing my back- not James, James was in the other room playing with the kids. Not Kendall- Kendall was beside Bella, looking at me with concern. I knew he wanted to be the one to calm me down, but he couldn't. So I knew it was Carlos behind me, his cheek on my shoulder, hand rubbing my back soothingly.

Suddenly I was shaking, crying, trying hard for air. I felt like a caged animal being chased with a needle or something. I wanted to GO.

She took my hand and lead me up the stairs and to James' bedroom, closing the door. She sat me on the bed, where I put my head between my knees and sobbed.

Wow, Logan. WOOOOOOW.

"What's going on with you? You're always so put together," Bella said softly, standing in front of me.

"Everything. My fucking life is so fucked up and I hate it!"

I sat up and looked at her, unfazed by my cursing.

"This isn't what I wanted for Grey," I began tearfully. "I didn't want him to have to have a split life. I didn't want him to be away from me for so long that he starts carrying around one of my shirts to make him less lonely. He PUSHED Bentley, Bell. He never pushes. He loves Bentley to death! And now he's so stressed out he's acting up for my attention."

"Grey's fine. You're not."

"And I hear YOU'VE been torn up. And my James and my Kendall are fucked. So Carlos is just left to comfort all of you and that's not fair to him. The kids miss Grey and Grey misses the kids. My apartment fucking sucks and it has nothing in it. Work is stressful as shit. I didn't get anyone Christmas presents. Everyone's lives are fucked up all because of my selfish reasons!" I was reaching hysterics now.

"Logan! Stop worrying about everyone else and look at yourself," Bella demanded. "How are YOU?"

"Panicked!"

"Why?"

"Because I miss you and I miss home and I'm lonely as shit and I have to share my son and I'm guilty because everyone's lives suck now and I'm stressed with work and trying to get the apartment together and I'm sad as fucking SHIT because I still love your husbands and I can't have them once the divorce goes through," I said without a breath. By now I was shaking like a cat in water.

"I know it's hard," she said quietly. Ah, my Bell, always so strong even when she wants to fall to her knees in tears. "But… You're my Logie… You're the strongest person I know. You'll pull through."

"I don't think I can."

She bent and took my hands, kissing them.

"I love you, Logan, and I hate to see you so torn up," she whispered. "Don't worry about us. I have the guys. Don't worry about Kendall and James- they have each other, and who ever said you can't see each other anymore? Logie, I know that you love them a whole lot- who would I be to make you stop? Don't worry about Grey- he's got the other kids and he's got me and the guys and when he knows you're coming to get him he gets so excited. Everyone is okay. You worry about Logan, because frankly we're all worrying about you."

With that, she pressed my shaking palms to her stomach.

I felt my son kick against her skin and breathing became easier. I sniffled and closed my eyes, trying to imagine what Eli would look like. Probably just like Grey and I- dark hair, dark eyes, dimples. He would be born into a life with shared custody, and unlike Grey he would be used to it. When he was here, either his mother or one of three strange men would come to aid him when he cried at night. He would hear some other man sing to him until he slept, feel foreign arms around him. What if he came to think that someone else was his father? What if I became the strange one?

"He's coming soon," Bella said quietly. I took in a deep breath through my nose and looked up at her.

"Do you regret letting me impregnate you now?" I asked. She hesitated and my heart broke, her hands tight over my hands.

"I dunno."

"Would you rather have been done? Or had Kendall's baby instead?"

"I know Eli'll be beautiful and perfect… But I wanted to raise him with you, you know?"

I was silent, feeling like shit.

"Are you good?" she asked me.

"Yeah," I sighed, standing. I hugged her, just because I felt like that was the right thing to do, her big belly pressing against my flat one. It felt good to hold her.

"I missed you," I said into her hair.

"Will you stay with us today? I don't want you to be alone," she said, pulling back.

"If you want," I said, pushing a strand of hair behind her ear. She leaned her head into my hand and nodded. I smiled a little- she was so pretty…

"I love you… Logan," she said quietly, pitifully. She got to her toes, going to kiss me. I thought she would kiss my cheek or my forehead or even my nose, but nope- she went right for the lips, sly little fucker.

But… I didn't pull away or push her.

It was a long kiss, our lips just pressed together like old friends hugging. Finally she pulled away, me left in a confused and flustered daze.

"I'm sorry," she said.

"I should go get Grey."

* * *

Grey was sulking in his room when I came to get him. He told me he didn't mean to make Bentley fall and he's sorry. We had a long talk about how he feels about the divorce, and I knew he didn't understand what it was but he didn't like having two houses and having to choose the kids and the guys or me. I apologized and told him that I had been stressed out lately and we would spend the week doing fun things together until I had to go back to work, then he would be at Bella's.

At the end of the day, we all ate dinner together.

We stayed until late, actually, and yet again I got pulled into a glass or two of wine. One, two, maybe four or five…

The point is that at the end of it all I had to be driven home.

But it was all worth it, because the confusion about Bella kissing me was out of my mind now. I no longer had to think about if I liked it or not and if I was considering coming back. I was just having a nice time being loopy, and Grey thought it was hysterical seeing Daddy so silly.

It was a good Christmas.

* * *

**I dunno how you guys feel about Logella/Began (hehe can it be Began? Like those dog treats Beggin'?) cause you guys haven't said much about it. I haven't decided an ending yet at all, but I think this might or might not be important in how it turns out. I dunno. How DO you guys feel about Began? **

**I dunno, but happy Christmas Break everyone!**


	9. The ER

I held Grey's mittened hand in mine as we glided across the outdoor ice rink. James had Grey's other hand and Bentley was in his arm. James looked unbelievably sexy in his scarf and beanie, his nose red from the cold. Grey was a natural, but he was still shaky. I could foresee him playing hockey someday.

"Daddy, it's snowing!" Grey said excitedly, looking up to the grey sky- sure enough big snowflakes drifted down onto the ice and into his dark hair.

I just loved how excited he was about everything- he was a child simply made of gold.

Suddenly my phone rang- Bella.

"Hey," I answered as we skated.

"They found out," she said.

"Who?"

"They found out that you spent Christmas with me and the clock's reset," Bella said, clearly strung-up. "The month is restarting today."

"What?" I skidded to a halt, Grey falling and starting to cry, James expertly halting and picking Grey up, a child in each arm and we glided aside. "How did they find out?"

"I don't know, Logan, don't yell at me!"

I knelt and hugged the crying Grey, him the least of my worries at the moment.

"You did want me to tell you that we still wanted a divorce, right?" she asked.

"Yeah… Why didn't they call me, too?"

"I dunno… I'm sorry, Loge."

Shit. I only had one more week before the trial separation was over and that was all ruined now!

"Okay, Bell, thanks for calling," I sighed and hung up. I put the phone in my pocket and was finally able to inspect my son.

"What hurts, baby?" I asked. James was standing, adjusting Bentley's scarf over his little face.

"I got cut," Grey pouted, holding up his mitten, which had a slash through it. I took it off to find a red cut- not a big one, about like it a cat had scratched him. He gasped when he saw it, though, and cried harder.

"What did Bells have to say?" James asked.

"Somehow the government found out about me spending Christmas with Bella and the month restarts today," I said irritably, pulling a Band-Aid from my pocket (I'm a DOCTOR, what do you expect?) and ripping the wrapper to spread it over Grey's cut.

"How'd they find out?"

"I dunno, James," I snapped before standing. "Let's just go."

"We've only been here like ten minutes, though," James argued.

"I'm not in the mood anymore," I said strongly. "And the cold isn't good for Bentley."

He gave me an offended face as I picked Grey up and skated away. I, obviously, was in a shit mood now and completely not into his bullshit. I hated being snippy- especially with James, who was always just trying to be nice.

"Are you FUCKING kidding me?" James called as we reached the car after changing out of our skates.

"Whatever, James, I'm sorry, okay? I'm just pissed."

He shook his head angrily as he opened the door to my car to buckle Bentley into his car seat, me on the opposite side buckling in Grey.

"Daddy, my hand hurts. You didn't kiss it," Grey said worriedly.

"Sorry, honey, I forgot," I apologized, placing a long, healing-powered kiss on the Band-Aid, then on his forehead before closing the door and getting behind the wheel. James was still buckling Bentley in- he always liked to bullshit around.

"Daddy!" Bentley squealed, just cause he could. He reached out to pinch his little gloved fingers over James' nose and James giggled and took the hand and nibbled it, getting rich baby laughter from the child.

"I love you," James sang.

"Lub you, lub you, lub you!" Bentley chirped like a parrot.

"James, come on," I sighed.

"Logie's so grumpy!" James said to Bent. "Can you said grumpy?"

"So gwumpy," Bentley said, giggling and scrunching up his little nose. James laughed and kissed his son before closing the door and sitting in the passenger seat.

"I hope you know that I don't kiss pissy old men," James said as I put the car in drive and we started rolling.

"You're older than me," I retorted.

"That's not what your silver hair says," he sang.

"I hope YOU know that I don't kiss men who bring up my faults."

I looked in the mirror to find Grey and Bentley holding hands in the back, Grey squeezing his nose and crossing his eyes at Bentley to make the child giggle. They really were best friends, even if Bent was only a baby.

"I suppose there will be no kissing going on today, then," James breathed tauntingly, looking in the fold-down mirror as he spread chapstick over his plump pink lips. He rubbed then together and popped them at me, obviously teasing me. I scratched my sideburn, purposefully and discretely using my middle finger, making James giggle and shake his head.

"You know you love me, baby," he smirked.

"For some odd reason."

"Because I'm sexy and I have a big cock," James whispered.

"James!" I hissed.

* * *

I held boards together as James used an electric drill to screw them together. We were putting my bed together, which he had brought from Bella's. Grey and Bentley were playing somewhere in the apartment as we worked.

Finally we were finished and we put the mattress on. I plopped down and James straddled me, practically dry-humping me with a thoughtful look on his face.

"Doesn't creak or squeak," he noted, sitting on my crotch.

"Was that necessary?" I retorted.

"Still in a shit mood?"

I gave him an unamused look and slipped from beneath him to stand.

"Hey!" James stood on his knees and caught me around the waist, pulling me to his chest and tickling me. Of course I had to laugh and squirm- maybe I was REALLY ticklish.

I turned and tried pushing him away, but he only tickled me more.

"Stop it, James, or I'll-"

"You'll what?"

"Dammit!" I laughed in agony. He stopped tickling and kissed me, his hands on my ribs and my neck bent back as I was pulled even closer. His kisses always make my knees weak and made me want to just bend him over a table and… Well, you know.

He slowly put one foot at a time on the ground, pulling my hips to his in that way he had.

Lust exploded through me as he opened his mouth and his tongue tasted me, so warm and delicious in my mouth. It was like he wanted to suck up every bit of my saliva and our lips moved with wet noises, which grossed me out but he insisted it was "beautiful- the sounds of love".

His hands brought mine up between our chests, our fingers lacing together as his lips moved to my neck. This kind of kissing- it wasn't to seduce me, even though it was doing just that. This kissing was just to savor and enjoy.

"Why do you always get so turned on when we kiss? Why can't we just make out to make out?" he asked quietly, kissing my skin. I blushed, realizing that our hips were pressed together and he could obviously tell when I got excited.

"You do it on purpose."

"I do," he giggled mischievously.

"Daddy!" I heard a child call and little footsteps entered the room.

"That's mine," James said, breaking the kiss to look over at Bentley. I rested my head on his collarbone and hugged him to me. "What is it, my little prince?"

"Juice, pwease!"

"Do you have juice?" James asked into my forehead.

"GREYSON!" I called, making James jump.

"WHAAAAAT?"

"MAKE BENT SOME JUICE! BE CAREFUL!"

"OKAY!"

"Jesus frickin Christ, Logan!" James laughed, rubbing his ear.

Grey came running in and took Bentley's hand, leading him to the kitchen. He knew there were Caprisuns in the fridge, and he loved to stab the straw into them.

I turned my head up to kiss James' jaw until he met my lips with his.

"Do you REALLY love Bella?" I asked between kisses.

"Duh."

"More than me?"

"Logie-"

"You should just come live with me."

James giggled, realizing I was kidding, and tickled me again.

"DADDY!" I heard a shrill scream. That was mine.

"What?" I called. Bentley came walking in.

"Something's wong with Grey."

I tore from James' arms to hurry out of the room.

"Grey?"

"Daddy!"

I found him on the kitchen floor, holding his tummy, tears streaming down his cheeks. My first reaction was thinking that he was cut himself with a knife or something, or some horrible accident that could be avoided by me pealing myself away from James to assist him.

"What happened, baby? Let me see." I took his hands from his stomach to search for blood, but there was none. I pulled up his shirt and his skin was perfectly intact.

"It hurts right here," Grey sobbed, touching his bare chest.

At first I thought it was gas or something, and pulled his shirt over his skin again to pick him up. But when I did pick him up, he let out a shrill scream of pain and I knew he was serious about this.

"When was the last time you pooped?" I asked, sitting him on the counter. I felt James observing from behind. Of course I assisted Grey at the toilet every time, since he was only three, but I couldn't remember when he pooped last.

"I dunno- when I got to Mommy's."

"On Christmas?"

He shook his head. Oh shit- he last pooped more than a week ago?

"What's up with him?" James asked.

"I have some theories… But…"

"He's obviously suffering."

"I know. If it doesn't pass in five minutes, we're going to the E.R."

"What do you think it is?"

"Appendicitis. I think his appendix is swollen because it's blocked up by shit."

"So what does that mean?"

"Something he can't hear," I said, looking over my shoulder at him. I mouthed "surgery" to him and his brows raised. I knew if I said it aloud it would scare Grey to death.

"But normally there's more warning than this," I said, turning to Grey. "Has this happened before?"

Grey tearfully nodded.

"Greyson! Why didn't you tell me?"

"I was scared."

I sighed and kissed his forehead. I really hoped this was something that could pass and I would go to Walgreens and get him some laxatives for. I knew all the signs for Appendicitis, though- I had diagnosed it lots of times. I just hoped to God it wasn't that.

"Daddy, I'm gonna throw up."

Without thinking, I snatched him from the counter and hauled ass to the bathroom, where I opened the toilet seat just in time for him to start spewing. My poor baby. His fingers curled around the toilet seat and I sat behind him, arm around his legs to support him, my forehead to his heaving back.

"James? Will you get some juice, baby?" I called.

"On it!"

Soon Grey finished puking and plopped down in my lap. I leaned forward to flush the toilet and got some toilet paper to wipe his mouth.

"How's your tummy?" I asked as James entered and I took the Caprisun and offered the straw to my son's lips, who took it gratefully and sipped hard.

"Hurts here," he finally said, touching his chest. I wiped his tear struck face as more tears came.

"I have to take you to my work, baby," I said. "So the doctors can do x-rays and see what's wrong."

Grey nodded solemnly and curled up in my lap, sniffling in pain. I looked up to see James leaning on the sink, looking concerned and sad.

* * *

"Daddy it HURTS," Grey sobbed from the E.R. bed, where I sat beside him. James was in the wheelchair with Bentley asleep in his arms, watching TV. I was glad he was here with me. We had gotten x-rays done about half an hour ago- I wasn't pissed about the wait, since I knew what was going on behind the scenes.

I hugged my son and kissed his hair. There was no doubt in my mind that there was something up with him and I was afraid. I had seen what happens in the E.R.- I was an E.R. doctor, after all.

Bella came bursting into the room.

"Mommy, it hurts," Grey sobbed to her.

"I know, baby," she said in a panic, going to him and hugging him. I called her- obviously she needed to know these things. "I know, but it'll be okay."

"It hurts r-right here," he said tearfully, touching his chest. Bella looked at me for answers.

"I suspect Appendicitis. The doctors'll be back with the x-ray results soon."

"Was it hard to not do all this yourself?"

"A little," I laughed half-heartedly. I wanted to put on my scrubs and white jacket and take care of him myself, but I couldn't.

Bella paced the room, turning down mine and James' offers for our seats, as we waited. Grey cried into my shoulder, just so helpless and scared.

"There's good news and bad news, Dr. Mitchell," Dr. Roll said as she entered. All eyes turned to her and James got up from the wheelchair to look at her with intense eyes. "The bad news is that you were right- his Appendix is swollen up like a balloon. BUT the good news is that we can have him in surgery in just four hours and fix it right up."

"FOUR HOURS?" Bella retorted. "Are you kidding me? Don't you see that my baby is in PAIN?"

"Daddy, what's surgery?" Grey asked me, looking up with scared eyes of a doe.

"We can give him medications for the pain until then, Mrs. Mitchell," Dr. Roll assured.

"Okay- do whatever it takes," I said. Dr. Roll took a cautious look at Bella, who was just an angry pregnant woman no matter what, and nodded, hurrying away.

"Daddy, will I die?"

"Logan, you have to make for DAMN sure he doesn't die," Bella said to me. At this point, Bella was a lioness, Grey her cub, me the male lion whose job it was to protect them.

"He won't DIE. You won't die, buddy, I swear."

"I'm scared. What's surgery?"

I didn't want to explain it- if he knew what it was, it would just scare him more.

"Daddy?"

"It'll be okay, baby," I said, kissing his hair as a nurse came in with an I.V. of pain meds, which I had to hold Grey down in order for them to put in.

* * *

**Ok, so this is sort of the beginning of the climax of the story, if you will, all the shit that's about to go down. So it's about to get exciting, and I'm exited for it and are you excited for it? I love this story. By the way, you should check out mine and Theweirdblond's story, "Untouchable" it's just an adventurous love story and it's Kogan/Jagan and I love it and you should love it, too. :D Okay, have a fantastic Christmas! Knowing me, I'll probably pop out another chapter before then.**


	10. I Need You

**Hey! Hope everyone had a fantastic Christmas! I got a crazy BTR bedroom set with like covers and sheets and wall stickers and curtains and it was a complete surprise and I'm not gonna lie, it's kind weird to sleep on their faces and have my dog lay on their crotches. It's a little strange. :D Did anyone else get anything exciting? **

**Well, if you didn't, you got this brand new exciting chapter and I hope you love it. :D And you best have watched Big Time Christmas.**

* * *

The sight of my son in a hospital gown, tubes in his little hand, a hair net over his neat hair, broke my heart. An oxygen tube was taped below his little nose, and they were currently taking it out in order to start anesthesia.

"Dr. Roll? May I do this part?" I asked quietly. Dr. Roll looked at me sadly and nodded, giving me the mask. I sat beside my son- carefully, as not to disturb the IV's or heart monitor, and kissed his head. I worked in an E.R., yes, but I had never been in this situation.

"I'm scared," Grey said quietly up to me, yet his eyes remained brave and tearless.

"I know, baby," I sighed. "It'll be over soon, and I'll be here when you wake up. I'll even have a present for you."

I was thinking of probably going down to the gift shop and getting him a teddy bear or something. I knew he would like that.

"Am I going to sleep?"

"In just a second. If you put this on over your mouth and nose."

"That looks scary," Grey said wearily, looking at the little clear mask that would administer anesthetics to him once turned on.

"I'm a doctor, Grey, and I know for a fact that it's not scary."

"Have you had one before?"

"Yup. Once when I was a kid, I had Appendicitis, too."

"Really?"

"Yup. And I had to have one of these over my face, too. It wasn't scary."

"What happens when I go to sleep?" he asked skeptically.

"They'll do surgery and make you feel better," I said. I had told Grey what surgery was about an hour ago and it made him cry and beg me to not make him do it. But I told him that if he was brave and did it for me, I would have a present for him when he got done. He still didn't want to, but obviously it wasn't his choice.

He gave me a sad look and nodded. I strapped the mask over his face and laid him down all the way, me on my side with him.

"I love you," he said.

"Love you, too."

I took his hand in mine.

"We're gonna count to ten," I said, flipping the switch behind me to turn the gas on. "Take deep breaths through your nose and out your mouth."

He did so, his head on its side to stare at me with scared black eyes.

"One… Two… Three… Four… Five…" I counted slowly. His lids fluttered and his hand tightened in mine, him fighting the sleep. I knew that for a child, being put to sleep was scary as hell, and I was glad that I was there to make it less terrifying for him."Six… Seven…"

Grey was gone, his lids closed and his heart rate slowing.

I kissed his hand and gently got up.

"He's all yours," I said to Dr. Roll. She patted my back and they rolled my son out of the room.

I felt Bell hug my side and set her cheek on my shoulder.

"I'm scared," she whispered. None of her children had ever had to go through surgery before. I wrapped an arm around her waist and kissed her hair.

"It'll be okay. I promise. That's coming from Dr. Mitchell."

She laughed a little and yawned.

"Go home, honey, you're tired," I said. There was silence and I knew I fucked up by calling her "honey", but I call EVERYONE "honey". Leave it to Bella to take it the wrong way.

"You should, too."

"The surgery won't take too long- I have to go down to the gift shop and get the present I promised."

"How long will it take?"

"Just an hour or two."

"Call when he wakes up?"

"I will."

Bella looked back at James, asleep in the corner of the room with Bentley asleep in his carrier beside him. She gave me a squeeze before letting go and kicking a foot out to hit James' thigh, which didn't wake him up.

It took a while, but finally James was up and ready to drive her home.

* * *

Grey looked so graceful in his bed, his little cheek on the pillow facing me with the oxygen tube taped below his nose and his heart monitor beeping rhythmically.

It would be a while before he woke up. I was sleepy as shit- it was about 4 am and I hadn't slept at all. I took a final look at him before sitting back in my chair and closing my eyes, my head bent back over the chair.

It didn't seem like I had been asleep for very long when I felt hands gently on my jaw. My eyes snapped open to see Kendall standing above me, a little smile on his face.

"Hey, cutie," he smiled. I sat up and yawned, seeing that Grey was still out.

"What time is it?"

"Five."

Wow. I was asleep for a whole hour?

"Has he woken up yet? Why're you here? Where's everyone else?"

"No- he hasn't woken up. I'm here cause why not? And everyone else is probably still asleep at home. I wanted to see you- I brought you McDonald's."

I had to smile as he sat a bag of hot food in my lap.

"You're the best," I melted, bending my neck back for him to give me an upside down Spiderman kiss. He pulled up a chair beside me as I ate.

Grey looked pale and pitiful in that huge bed, his hair messed up, tubes sticking in him every which way, his heart monitor beeping steadily, and his upper half propped up with pillows. I was anxious for him to wake up and tell me that it wasn't as bad as he thought, and I would give him my gift and he would be happy. I would show him the incision with stitches in it and he would think it was super badass. Bella would come in and hug him and he would be so glad she was there to comfort him. It would only be a little while now.

"Babe," Kendall whispered, poking me. I looked up and he nodded to Grey, who was stirring a little. His little hand with the heart monitor on it came up to brush his nose and his eyes fluttered open.

"Hey, baby," I said, dropping my food in the bag and sitting on the bed. His dark eyes turned sleepily to me. "Your surgery went good. How do you feel?"

"Good," he croaked. "Where's Mommy?"

"She's home sleeping. Could you imagine her and her big belly sleeping in one of these chairs?"

This made him laugh a little.

"I got you this," I said, reaching to the night stand and offering the little stuffed tiger with the yellow ribbon around its neck. His eyes lit up as much as they could and he took it and hugged it to his chest.

"My belly hurts," he said, pointing to where the cut was.

"I know it, bud," I sighed. "That's where they cut you open."

"I'm hungry."

"Oh- Kenny got me a McGrittle- do you want some of that?"

He nodded and I gave him the half that I didn't eat, which he ate slowly. Being a doctor, I knew it was okay for him to eat now.

I was still exhausted, so I laid in the bed, my arm behind my head and the other gently around my son. In the midst of my sleeping I heard Grey and Kendall talking quietly and Kendall's hand held mine and rubbed it with his thumb.

* * *

"Oh, my poor baby," I heard Bella melt as she entered the room. I opened my eyes to find Bella sitting on the edge of the bed to kiss Grey's forehead repeatedly. "How do you feel?"

"I'm okay," Grey said as he got a kiss on the lips and Bella sat back. I was surprised that Bella had come alone.

"Did everything go okay?" she asked me.

"Everything went fine. He should be out of here within 3 days," I said sleepily. It was only 10 now- I had slept six hours in two days.

Bella pursed her lips and smoothed down our son's hair.

"Are you hungry?" she asked him.

"No, Daddy gave me food."

She smiled up at me and I shrugged.

"I'm tired, can I sleep?" Grey asked.

"Of course, baby," she smiled, giving him a kiss.

"I have to pee- who wants bed duty?" I asked. Kendall got up and took my place.

After peeing, I looked up at myself in the mirror. Jesus- I looked horrible. My eyes were tired with dark circles under them, my hair messy, and there was a crick in my neck. I washed my face a little with hot water and fixed my hair as much as possible.

"Logie! I need you!" Bella called from the room, panic in her voice. My first thought was that something went wrong with Grey so I hurried out. But Grey and Kendall were fast asleep in the bed, Bella in her chair, rubbing her stomach with a worried look on her face.

"What? I'm here," I said, kneeling beside her chair.

"Logie, my water broke."

Shit. I was NOT ready for that.

"Okay- don't panic. We just have to go over to the next wing to the hospital, okay?"

I jumped up and wrote a quick note on the nurse white board- "ELI'S COMING, WENT TO HOSPITAL"- for Kendall, and helped Bella up. My heart was beating a billion miles a minute- I had gone through so many births, but none with Bella and my own child.

"Oh- he's ready," she laughed nervously as we walked slowly to a free wheelchair down the hallway.

"It's okay- it's fine," I said, more to myself than her. I thought I had a few more weeks to prepare for Eli's arrival, but he was coming a little early, I guess.

"I know, baby, I've given live birth twice and had a C-section for the twins. I know what I'm doing," she laughed. I didn't let the "baby" part go, but this was no time to talk about nicknames.

"I wasn't even there for Grey's birth," I laughed nervously. "I've never done this before."

"Just do whatever I say and we'll be good."

I helped her into the wheelchair and hurried her down to the hospital.

* * *

"Breathe with me, Logie, you need it more than me."

I squeezed her hand and we took deep breaths together- in through the nose, out through the mouth. I was sitting in the bed beside her, basically having a panic attack.

I needed James.

I needed Kendall.

Hell, I needed CARLOS if he was available.

I didn't like this- being alone. Not even our parents were there. A birth in the family was always a private thing between the father and Bella. The other guys and kids only came in to see the baby once it was born, but in the process it was sort of a bonding experience between Bella and the father of the baby. Mainly because only certain people were in, and if I said "I'm the husband", then they would let me in, and James would say "I'm the husband", and Kendall would say "I'm the husband", then what? That's hard to explain to someone.

"I think you need Carlos."

"This isn't Carlos' baby. This is your baby. You can do this."

"I have to go check on Grey."

"Kenny's got Grey. It's FINE. Stay here with me- I need you."

Another contraction hit her and she squeezed my hand, screaming out in pain. I wiped her forehead, trying desperately to control my hammering heart.

The door opened and Kendall entered.

"KENDALL YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO BE WITH GREY!" I yelled over Bella.

"He's fine," Kendall waved, going to the bed. Bella finished screaming and was panting, looking up at Kendall.

"Get outta here!" she said angrily.

"I'm going! I just wanted to see what's going on," he laughed, kissing her sweaty forehead, then the belly beneath her hospital gown. He leaned over her to kiss me, then lean into my ear.

"Relax, sexy, you've got this," he whispered. "Just imagine how beautiful and perfect Eli will be."

I smiled a little as he pulled back and kissed my cheek before leaving. That helped a little.

* * *

**Excited!**


	11. Surprise!

"I NEED KISSES!" Bella screamed, tears running down her cheeks.

Yes, I was the ex-husband (soon), but I had learned earlier that Bella knew what she wanted and I had to do whatever I could to make her comfortable. I had already gotten this request a few times.

I got up to kiss her sweaty forehead.

"You're doing great, babe," I said reassuringly before kissing her cheeks. She had her feet in the stirrups and my hand in hers, the birthing process having started two hours ago, Eli crowning now. I found that right now, she didn't care that we were getting divorced. She called me "Logie" and "babe" and "baby" all the time and asked for kisses, a few on the mouth, and asked me to assure her that she will indeed be sexy after this. She was a bit delusional, obviously.

"Your son is a little fucker," she said tearfully. I laughed and sunk to my knees as she gave another mighty push, squeezing my hand. I kissed her knuckles and rubbed her hand with my thumb as she fell back against the pillows in attempt to relax.

"Will you still love me after this is over?" she asked me, almost slurring. I nodded and smiled a little.

"I'll always love you, baby girl," I said to the delusional girl, knowing she didn't really know what was being said. But the words felt funny coming out of my mouth.

I wanted to get up and watch Eli's birth- I had assisted in a few births in college and seen it numerous times- but Bella needed me here.

"My vag is gonna be unfuckable!" she said worriedly.

"I don't think so," I said. I hated to say it, but even after two kids and a set of twins, Bella was surprisingly amazing down there. Not to mention having sex with four men, two of which I knew were of abnormally large size (James and Kendall- I didn't really know what I was).

"PUSH!"

Bella screamed and squeezed my hand, pushing.

"Almost there!"

"I miss your cock, Logie," Bella pouted, taking me off guard and although I knew the nurses and doctors knew she was delusional, I was embarrassed because, well, I knew these people!

"Bell, can we talk about this some other time?"

"I miss the way it curves up at little," she said. I felt myself blushing, but I figured the others weren't really listening anyway.

"I love you, Logie."

"I love you, Bell," I sighed.

"PUSH!"

Bella pushed and screamed, but this time I heard another little scream with hers, going on when hers stopped.

"That's our baby! That's Eli!" I said excitedly, squeezing Bella's hand. She smiled tiredly and I stood, watching as the doctors stick their fingers down my son's throat and tubes up his nose to clear everything.

"It's a girl!" The masked doctor said happily as the child continued crying.

"What?" Bella snapped.

"There's a mistake- our baby's a boy," I said. She shook her head and turned to baby away from me, spreading its legs to clearly reveal a vagina- not a penis.

"WHAT THE HELL? This entire time I've been LIED to?" Bella sobbed.

"It's no big deal- a girl is just as good as a boy!" I offered.

"But all our stuff is for a boy! I've been planning for a boy! Why can't they tell a dick from a vagina?"

"Ultrasounds can be inaccurate, honey, things like this happens all the time," I assured. Personally, I couldn't care less if the child was a boy or a girl. Yes, I had spent all this time planning on a boy and all the stuff we had was boy stuff, but a baby girl was just a good as a baby boy. We were just going to use old boy clothes from the other kids and the crib would be in with Grey and Bentley, or maybe Bentley would bemoving out- I don't know, we thought we had another few weeks for this!

"Would you like to cut the cord, Dr. Mitchell?" the doctor asked. My heart leapt as I was handed medical scissors, which I had never used for this purpose before.

The guys had always told me that cutting the umbilical cord was a truly happy experience, but I had never known, since Grey was born in prison without me. Right now, as I snipped through the cord, I saw what they meant.

The baby was rushed away and I sat with Bella, watching the child disappear, all covered in blood and guts, screaming with her little arms and legs flailing. I wondered if Grey looked like that when he was born.

"What will we name her?" Bella asked me, laying her head on my shoulder. "We didn't think of girl names."

"Elise," I said simply. "Her name would have been Eli- why not Elise?"

Bella smiled a little and I wrapped my arm gently around her moist waist. I knew she probably thought it sounded like an old lady name, but I thought it was gorgeous and she didn't argue.

"What about a middle name?"

Hm… There wasn't really a boy version of Dustin. All the other obvious ones were taken. Annie's middle name was Isabella, like Bella, Parker's was Roberto, like Carlos' middle name. Georgia's was Anne, Bella's middle name (they thought it weird to make it Kendall). Bentley's middle name was James, and Grey's has nothing to do with anyone- it's Oliver.

"Denise," she giggled.

"I think not." I laughed. Yes, because I wanted to name my child Elise Denise. No.

I started to think of other people to name her after. Bella was taken, the guys were taken and they, of course, had male names.

"Your mom," she said.

"Elise Joanna?"

"I like it."

Well, I guess I picked the first name, she could have the middle name. It wasn't so bad.

"Okay," I shrugged and nodded.

Soon the baby was brought back and set in Bella's arms. She was swaddled in a pink blanket, yawning a big, toothless yawn. She had thin black hair, as Grey had when he was a newborn.

"How about a name?" the nurse asked.

"Elise Joanna Mitchell," I answered.

"Beautiful," the girl smiled, writing it all down and letting me check for spelling.

Bella let me hold our daughter and my heart swelled up. She was so perfect, her little eyes closed like all newborns. She was tiny- I'd say 6 pounds and some change. Well, she was a little premature.

"I love her. Even if she isn't who I expected," Bella said, her cheek on my shoulder.

"I love her, too," I said, turning to her. Without even thinking about it, we kissed. And we didn't even think about it afterward. A little part of my subconscious noted that her lips were dry and cracked and that I should get her water.

Elise was taken away to get inspected for any problems, but she was healthy from what I could tell. She wasn't too premature, luckily, and she was stable.

"You can go check on Grey if you want," Bella said, looking up at me from where her cheek was on my shoulder.

"I wanna wait till they bring Elise back so I can show him when I go," I said, shaking my head.

* * *

I entered Grey's room to find that everyone was there- my parents, Bella's parents, Bella's siblings (not their spouses, though), the guys, the kids, EVERYONE, all waiting to see the baby.

All eyes turned to me and I grinned. I really shouldn't have Elise out of the nursery or really out of Bella's room, but being a doctor here they trusted me. Everyone got up and crowded around, but I hid her from them in my shoulder as I walked through them. I wanted Grey to see first.

"Why's he in pink?" James asked as I sat beside my son.

"Is he healthy?" my mother asked. Everyone gathered around the bed as I revealed Elise to my son.

"Grey, this is your baby sister, Elise," I said to him.

"Not brother?" he asked, confused. Everyone else looked confused, too.

"It turns out that Eli was a girl all along," I said. "Wanna hold her?"

I sat Elise gently in her brother's arms, not wanting to hurt Grey's stitches, but he didn't even flinch. He held her with strong arms as he stared down at her.

"I wanted a brother," he said.

"A sister is fun, too," I offered. He nodded a little and I took her back, Grey reaching over to touch her nose ever so gently, making her move for the first time, Grey jumping. I laughed and he softly petted her thin hair, smiling a little bit.

"I like her," he said with a smile.

My mother took Elise from me, too excited to wait I guess.

"What's her name again?"

"Well, it couldn't be Eli, so we improvised. It's Elise Joanna," I said. My mother's eyes lit up and she looked up at me.

"After me?"

"After you."

I watched Georgie climb up on the bed with her brother and cuddle up to him.

"I showed Georgie my stitches and she said cool," Grey told me, ripping my attention from Elise. Fantastic- I was already more in love with her than him.

"You did?"

"Yeah, and she brought me a picture she drew."

"Of a kitty cat," Georgie added. I smiled a little- they weren't technically related at all, and I thought that was good because they were bound to fall in love some day.

"Where's Mommy?" Parker asked me, pulling on my sleeve from the floor. I looked down at he and his twin, their dark features glowing in the white light.

"She's sleeping, buddy, she's really tired," I said.

"From having a baby?"

"Yup. But she'll wanna see you when she wakes up."

It wasn't until nobody was talking to me and I was just sitting there watching Kendall smile down at Elise that I realized how exhausted I was. And hungry. It was no surprise that James noticed, too, and handed Elise off to approach me.

"Do you need to go home and sleep?" he asked me, sitting on the bed to face me.

"No. I wanna stay with Elise and Grey," I answered sleepily. "And Bella'll need me when she wakes up."

"You're exhausted," James insisted. "They'll be here when you come back."

"I'll sleep here. Right now."

"C'mon, babe. Just a few hours."

I ended up falling asleep in the car, James carrying me into his and Bella's house and laying me peacefully in the bed. I slept for so long that I woke up to him making me dinner- it was too late for me to go back to the hospital and my mom said that she was staying with Grey, since she was family. Everyone was home by the time dinner was ready, but two very important people were missing at the dinner table- Grey and Bella.

That night I slept yet some more with James, but Kendall sneaked in at some point to sleep with us.

* * *

**Surprise!**

**So maybe I had included that the baby would be a boy without really even knowing what I wanted it to be. It was a hard choice, but I hope I made the right one. :D**


	12. Living Life

I gently helped Grey up, tears rolling down his little cheeks as pain shot through his stitches. He was supposed to be up and walking within 24 hours of the surgery, and now it was noon (oops- a little late) of the next day.

"It hurts," he sniffled, his little hand on his incision.

"I know, baby, but we'll go down and get Mommy and you can ride in the wheelchair with her before we go to see Elise," I said taking hold of the little IV and Grey's hand and we slowly started walking. As a father, I wanted to just pick Grey up and carry him, putting him out of his pain, but as a doctor I wanted him to walk.

Carlos, James, and Kendall were home with the kids and would bring them to the hospital to see Bella later.

"I'm bleeding," Grey stated as we walked, his head bowed curiously to stare at the little line of blood seeping through his gown.

"It's okay, bud, we'll clean it up later," I assured, knowing it wouldn't bleed a lot.

Ten painstaking minutes later, we were in Bella's room.

"There's my boys!" she said happily, a nurse having already helped her into a wheelchair. She bent over to kiss Grey, who smiled happily but didn't dare try to hug her. I smiled at her and bent to kiss her cheek.

"How do you feel?" I asked, helping Grey into her lap.

"A little sore, but I'm excited to see our baby girl when I'm not delusional," she laughed, taking hold of Grey's IV as I started rolling them.

"She's perfect, baby, she really is."

"I got to hold her, Mommy. She's big," Grey said happily. I guess for a three-year-old, the baby was big. But compared to the other newborns, she was a little too small.

"Oh believe me, baby, I know," Bella laughed. "I had to push her out!"

We arrived at the nursery where a few nurses were feeding babies. I wheeled them up to the little glass case with "Elise Joanna Mitchell, Dec. 28, 6.8 lbs, premature 3 weeks, STABLE".

Bella got to feed Elise, since she hadn't already been, and I sat on my knees with Grey to watch. Elise, like the other babies, would be breast fed once they got home. Just like with all her other babies, Bella just looked so in love. She talked quietly to Elise, like she could understand, and held the bottle steady.

"Oh, Logie, come look," Bella gasped, making me get up quickly and look over her shoulder. By the way she said it, I thought that Elise had an extra finger or something. "She's got your eyes."

My daughter's little swollen eyes were open and looking around, big and dark chocolate colored, almost black like mine and Grey's. It was a slim possibility that she would have blue eyes, but she didn't. Her little pink lips were suckling gently on the bottle, her tiny fingers wrapped around Bella's thumb, her little black eyes lazy looking around. I loved her.

* * *

"Logie, you need to calm the hell down," James sang as we sat in his bed and he massaged my shoulders, Kendall entering in just PJ pants. Grey and I were staying there for a while so that I could be there for Elise before we had to figure out custody. Bella was home now, too, in Carlos' room getting lotion spread over her stretched out tummy, and Elise would be able to be brought home tomorrow.

I guess for now the divorce thing was forgotten about.

I groaned and rolled my head back as his thumbs dug into my tense muscles.

"What're you so stressed about anyway? You haven't worked in forever, your son just got outta the hospital, you have a brand new daughter, you're home and alone with us. What?" Kendall laughed plopping down on the bed.

"Bella," I answered without even thinking.

"What about her, boo?" James asked. He always used cute nicknames when he was feeling sweet and gentle. Needless to say, I loved it.

"I dunno, we were alone while she was in labor and she kept asking me to kiss her and she called me all her nicknames and I got sucked into that."

"Please tell me you're falling for her again," Kendall pleaded. James' hands stopped massaging and his arms wrapped around me, my bare back against his chest, his skin warm.

"No," I said slowly, more to myself than Kendall. "I just… I hate to go through with the divorce while Elise is still so small and needy."

"Then hold off for a while," Kendall said. "And if when Elise gets bigger you still want a divorce, then do it."

"He doesn't WANT to fall for her again," James said simply.

"Why NOT?"

"I don't knoooow," I groaned.

"You don't need to worry about it now, sugar," James said, turning his head to kiss the side of my head. "Worry about it in a few months."

"You always know what to say," I murmured, turning my head for him to kiss me.

* * *

Bella and I sat on the couch, Elise in her arms. She was so tiny, wrapped up in an old crocheted blanket. Kendall was off at hockey practice, James and Carlos cleaning up the house for Bella, and the kids playing somewhere or another. We never really worried about the kids- Grey could take care of them.

"How come she's so little?" Annie asked, sitting beside Bella. Being the only girly girl of the bunch, she was excited for the baby's arrival. "Bent wasn't that little when he was born."

"Because Elly wanted to come out of my tummy before she was big enough," Bella explained.

"Elly?" I smiled. Bella beamed and turned to me.

"Isn't that a cute nickname? Elly."

"I love it," I agreed.

"I love YOU," she sang before turning back to the baby. It took me a little off track, but I guess she could tell me that, since she wasn't the one divorcing me. My tongue itched to say it back, but I couldn't.

Elise let out a big toothless yawn, one of my favorite things about babies, and her little hand came up to clasp in the air.

"Hold her while I go get a bottle," Bella said, getting up and putting the baby in my arms.

"I thought you were breastfeeding."

"I don't think my boobs can handle that again," she laughed. "But I did get a pump."

I had to agree. She didn't breastfeed Grey, because she thought it would be weird since she wasn't his real mother and said that that was something only a mother can do. But the other four she did breastfeed, and although her breasts looked fine, I knew they couldn't handle anymore. Sorry if that just got weird for you, I just wanted to explain.

After Bella left, I brought Elise's little head to my nose to smell her baby hair. I love that smell.

"What're you doing, Logie?" Annie giggled.

"Here, smell her hair. It smells good. Only babies have hair that smells that way," I said, and Annie smelled Elise's dark hair.

Bella brought a warm bottle back and sat beside me again, her blonde head on my shoulder, as I offered the nipple to my daughter. She made a little baby sound and took it in her mouth, suckling gently with her little black eyes closed.

"Will she choke if she goes to sleep?" Annie asked.

"No. She'll just stop drinking," Bella said. "But I think she's hungry enough to stay awake."

Suddenly Grey entered, running over to us.

"Slow down, Grey, jeez," I said as he almost skidded to a stop. I didn't want him falling on Elise. He was on some great pain meds (I got him the best) and he really shouldn't be running because of the stitches, but he was.

"Is sissy sleeping?" Grey asked, looking at the baby. I loved that he called her sissy already. He called the other kids by their names- I wasn't sure how he understood that Elise was really her half-sister as opposed to the others, but I liked it.

"No, she's eating," Bella answered.

"When can I play with her?"

"After her nap," I answered. "Then we'll get her matt out and you can play with her."

The kids loved playing with Elise on the matt because Elise was actually playful. She moved her little legs and arms and grabbed at toys even though she was only able to be on her back.

Grey sat up beside me and hugged my arm.

"Can we go to the park tomorrow?" he asked hopefully.

"I have to work tomorrow. You can ask Jamie or Carlos or Kenny, though," I offered. "Oh- actually I think Kenny has practice again."

"I wanna go with you, though," he pouted. "Can we go get ice cream at night?"

"I have to take care of Elise."

"Do you love her more than me?"

My heart broke and I kissed his hair.

"I love you both exactly the same, baby. But you're gonna have to learn to share me. I can't always be taking you out anymore because I need to take care of Elise. She needs me more than you."

"But I got surgery," Grey pouted.

"I know, baby. How're your stitches?"

Grey lifted up his shirt to show that his stitches were bleeding a little. His hand reached down to touch the blood, then he made a face at me.

"I told you not to run," I reminded him. "That's why they keep bleeding."

I handed Elise off to Bella and took Grey off to clean up the blood. I hoped he hadn't made them bleed just so that I would pay attention to him, but I could see it happening. I knew he loved having me all to himself, all my attention devoted to taking care of him. It would be hard for him to adjust to me paying more attention to Elise than him, and I wasn't sure how he would take having to share me.

I followed Grey back to his bedroom where the kids were playing, surprised to find Carlos in there with him, building a huge ramp for toy cars.

"Aren't you supposed to be cleaning?" I laughed, leaning on the door frame.

"Don't tell on me," Carlos said suspiciously.

"Daddy! Put this one on first!" Parker said excitedly, holding up a little Hot Wheel to Carlos. Carlos grinned and picked up the boy, allowing him to put it on himself and the kids watched it go down the ramp and shoot into a laundry basket.

"Los! C'mon!" James groaned behind me, making me jump. "I'm working my a-" James stopped himself before saying "ass" in front of the kids, "BUTT off and you're in here playing?"

"Check it!"

Another car shot down the ramp and I knew James wanted to play, too by the way his eyes lit up.

"I help clean!" Bent said to his father, running over to him and grasping the mop in James' hand. James bent down and kissed his son's dark hair.

"That's okay, honey, Logie'll help."

I got sucked into helping doing the dishes with James.

"Wassa matter, babe? Miss Kendall?" he asked, eying me.

"What?"

"You seem quiet."

I didn't realize that I was sort of upset until James said so.

"Do you miss Kendall?" he asked.

"No. I guess I'm just a little upset about Grey."

"Why?"

"It's gonna be hard on him, having to adjust to sharing me. He asked me to take him to the park tomorrow and I told him I have to work, then he asked if we could get ice cream tomorrow night and I told him I have to take care of Elise," I sighed.

"I can take him to the park," James offered.

"That's what I told him. But he told me he wanted to go with ME. Did I spoil him?"

"Yeah. But I spoil the hell outta Bent. Carlos spoils the twins. Kendall spoils the living shit outta Georgie. We all spoil our kids, but we have Bell to tell them no, you know? But Grey… He's attached to you by the hip and you're his Superman," James said. "It'll be hard for him to have to hear 'no' from Daddy."

"He asked me if I love Elise more than him," I sighed.

"He's gonna think that a lot. But you have to do things to show him that you still love him more than he could know. Like, I dunno, spend a day at the zoo with him or something."

I smiled a little as I dried a pan.

"What?" James laughed.

"You always- ALWAYS- know what to say."

"It's what I do," he said smoothly.

"I love you. A lot."

"I love you more."

I looked up at him doing the dishes, not thinking anything else of what he said. He looked so pretty in his hockey jersey, KNIGHT 23 on the back, and his sweatpants with his hair pushed back and messy, stubble around his mouth.

"Quit looking at me," he said without even glancing my way. "I can feel the lust radiating off of you and I currently have soapy hands and there're kids running around, so you can't very well bend me over the counter and rip my clothes off, now can you?"

I laughed a little and turned away to put the pan away.

* * *

**So um… Not sure if you guys are still there. I hate to sound like a review whore (which I am) but nobody has really been leaving me notes and I dunno, that just makes me feel like nobody's reading? I know there're a lot of silent readers out there, me included, so I'll keep going with the story (it's ending soon) because I like it and I hope you do, too. If you have reviewed, thank you so much. :) **


	13. Playing Daddy

I was absolutely knocked out one night, snuggled into Kendall's back, dreaming of God knows what.

It took Kendall a few tries to wake me up.

"Daddy? Elly's crying," he whispered, opening my lid manually to look in. I suspected he was trying for a while to get me to wake up, but I was so tired from work that I was out.

"Quit calling me that, it's weird," I grumbled, snuggling into him. He called me that because obviously I was Elly's daddy, but I felt like he was calling me Daddy, like "who's your daddy?!" and it makes me feel weird.

"Elly's crying and God knows Bell won't wake up for anything. She was with James last night- you know how that goes."

I was too damn tired and couldn't get up. The lights on the baby monitor were going nuts, the sound of my daughter screaming and Grey shushing her audible.

"Should I go?" Kendall asked.

"No. I got it."

I stumbled my way down the stairs and to my son and daughter's room. If I wasn't half asleep, I would have taken a picture of Grey standing beside the crib, his little arm stuck through the bars and holding his sister's hand as she cried.

"I tried to get her to sleep," Grey said, turning to me and taking his arm out of the crib.

He always tried to help Bella and me out because he knew we were stressed beyond belief. He would do things like heat up bottles when he knew she was hungry or try to get her to stop crying when she woke him up at night. He was so sweet- I loved him.

"Thanks, baby," I slurred to him before leaning over the bars and picking the two-month-old up.

I lifted her to smell her diaper, which was clean.

"I think sissy's hungry. She didn't eat before she went to sleep, remember?" Grey suggested.

"That's right. She was tired from her doctor's appointment," I said sleepily. Elise had to go to the doctor since she was a premature baby, and they said she was developing nicely and everything looked healthy. I wasn't there- I was working- but Bella and Carlos took her.

I held Elly against my chest, her head above my shoulder as she cried into my ear. She wasn't quite screaming anymore, but it was still loud.

"Stay here and sleep, Grey," I said and helped Grey back into bed, telling him I loved him and kissing his forehead before leaving.

I carried my crying daughter to the kitchen, where I put a bottle into the microwave and bounced her as it warmed up. I left all the lights off but the one above the sink.

"Shh, it's okay, baby girl," I murmured as she cried.

She was a lot lower maintenance than Grey was. Grey always cried- all the time. For hours. Elly, however, cries, then when she's attended to she quieted down. She was easier to care for. With Grey, sometimes it would take a 4 AM drive in the car to settle him down and make him sleep. But Elly calmed down when she was sung to, bounced, or even so simple as hearing Bella's voice. She also really liked Carlos' voice. It's weird, I guess, but Carlos' voice is sort of higher pitched.

I shifted her to the crook of my arm as I shook the bottle. It was breastmilk, but I always shook it. I shoved the nipple (gently, of course) into her crying mouth and soon enough, she took it.

"There you go, pumpkin," I whispered. "You were just hungry, eh?"

Her little black eyes stared up at me as she suckled. I knew she would be a wild thing, and I was prepared but not looking forward to it. Grey was always very calm once he got bigger. He just wanted to be held and kissed and he always loved to sit in my lap and just watch everyone around us while picking at my wedding ring. Now he was a whole three years old. He wasn't a baby anymore. Shit.

I heard someone behind me and looked back.

"Hey, sexy, what're you doing up?" James asked gruffly. He came up and kissed my cheek and a familiar and pungent smell hit my nose.

"Jesus, James, you smell like sex," I whispered, ducking away from his touch. I hated it, but maybe there was a tad bit of jealousy, knowing my James had had sex and I wasn't the one he was with.

"You love it," James giggled, bending down to kiss Elly's hair before going to the refrigerator.

"What're you doing?" I asked as he started picking through food.

"I'm starved. Worked up an appetite," he said, pulling out a tub of ice cream from the freezer.

"You and Bell aren't planning…"

"Another kid? No. HELL no," he said, taking out a spoon and prying the ice cream open. "E's the last, is what she told me. Said she doesn't think she can take another one. I don't blame her- three kids and a set of twins? Forget about it."

I nodded a little, looking down at my daughter as she neared the end of the bottle. I could accept her being the last. The baby sister. All of these kids were tradition for polyandrist marriages, but they were all Bella's idea. It wasn't like we demanded she let us plant our seed in her like cave men or something.

"Nah- we were just having fun," he said. "Good ole protected fun."

"I can't believe she's ready for that," I said.

"Who can resist all this?" James said, charismatically gesturing to his bare chest over a mouthful of ice cream. I laughed a little and Elly spat out the nipple. I tossed the bottle into the sink and threw a towel over my shoulder to burp her.

"Are you pissed?" James asked. I looked at him, confused. "Cause Bell and I had fun last night?"

"No?" I said, confused, then gained confidence. "No. She's your wife, honey, I'm glad you're making her happy. I'm glad she's making you happy."

"You just got quiet- I wasn't sure."

* * *

I was sad to be back in my own apartment, but I was happy to give Bella a few days with two less kids to worry about. I no longer had a week with Grey and Elly, I only had two days- the weekend, since I had to work. The divorce was back in action, and I didn't know how to feel about that.

I sat on the floor, Elly in her little rocker, watching her suck on her fingers. I hated that. I hated it with Grey and I hated it with the other kids and I hated it now. Not only was she putting germs into her mouth, but she was also spreading them from her mouth. Oh well… Even if I scolded her for it, she would do it. Bella always scolded me for making Grey stop when he was a kid. "Let him be a baby!" she would say, and I had to sit back and watch. I was trying to endure it now, too.

I was trying desperately to pay attention to both kids. Elly was drooling uncontrollably with her fingers in her mouth while Grey and I were playing with his Hot Wheels.

I had no idea how, but somehow Elly got a hold of a Hot Wheel and was sucking on it.

"C'mon, El. That's dirty," I groaned, taking it from her. Her mouth hung open and her little tongue squirmed in there.

"She looks silly," Grey giggled.

Elly's hands rose and she batted at the hanging ornaments on her rocker, her tongue hanging out. She let out a little burst of giggles that made me grin. I loved her giggles. She just started laughing this morning and has barely stopped since.

My phone rang. Grey answered it before I could get up.

"Mommy!" he said happily.

I reached for the phone, but he backed away.

"I'm talking!" he scolded, making me laugh a little as he sat on the floor. "Yeah, sissy's good. She laughs a lot… Yeah… But I wanna talk to you!... Okay. Love you."

He handed me the phone and I was almost blown away.

"SHE LAUGHED? AND YOU DIDN'T EVEN TELL ME ABOUT IT?"

"Jeez, Bell, calm-"

"THIS IS A BIG THING, LOGE!"

"I know it is," I laughed. "How's it going there?"

"I miss you, Logie."

"I miss you, too," I said. I didn't know that I did miss her until I said it, and now I realized it was true.

"How's Elly? Is she okay?"

"She's fine. She's so happy- she laughs all the time and she's always smiling. But she's slobbery."

"Awe. Send me a picture."

"A picture? Baby, she looks exactly the same as she did when I took her this morning," I laughed.

Bella was silent for a while.

"You shouldn't call me baby anymore," she said quietly. "Or honey or babe or any of those…"

"Why not?" I asked like the idiot I am.

"Because, Logan. We're getting a divorce. And you calling me those things… It's giving me false hope."

My heart broke into a billion pieces. What was I doing? Bella loved me. She wanted me back. And right now, I wasn't entirely sure that I didn't love her and I didn't want her back. I missed her like crazy and it had only been a day. Not even a day. I got excited when she called me.

"I'm coming home," I said.

"No, Logan. I know what's going through your head right now," she said softly. "You want to come home because I want you to. Don't do that. I need to be told no once in a while- I'm a spoiled brat. I've got men catering to my every need, and I need a taste of 'no' land."

I opened my mouth to talk. Say something- probably another surprise. I was interrupted by a high-pitched scream, which alarmed me, followed by laugh giggles.

"What? What happened?" Bella ordered.

"I don't know. She just laughs at everything."

"Okay… I guess I should let you go. Oh, and Carlos left a while ago- I suspect he's coming your way."

"Okay."

"I love you."

I was silent, my mouth frozen in the midst of trying to say it back.

"I'm sorry," she said. "It just feels wrong to not say it."

"Bye."

"Tell Grey and Elly I love them."

I hung up and heaved a sigh. So many emotions.

Soon Carlos arrived, letting himself in. I turned and acted surprised to see him.

"Bell told you I was coming, didn't she? I tried to be sneaky," he laughed, setting a plastic bag on the table and coming to sit on the floor with me. He wasted no time in picking Elly up- he loved Elly.

"Why're you sneaking?" I asked, smoothing down Grey's hair. I felt like a couple of girls playing dolls or something.

"I guess I don't need to, but I just feel guilty leaving her."

"What's in the bag?" I asked, nodding to the bag he sat on the table.

"Oh, I picked you up a cake," Carlos said happily. "Just a little one."

"Why?"

"I needed an excuse to come. And I know Grey loves cake and you do, too."

"Thanks?"

"Anytime," he breathed, rolling to his back and holding Elly up in the air. Drool roped onto his shirt, but he didn't care.

"Did you come to play with my baby?" I laughed.

"Maybe. I love babies," Carlos laughed, his eyes lighting up as Elly burst into laughter. "I wanted to work in a nursery in high school. That was my plan. I wanted be one of those nurses that hangs out in the nursery and feeds all the newborns. Then I found you and Bell and I guess I sort of dropped my dreams."

Funny- I didn't know how little I knew about Carlos until now.

"But that's okay. I ended up having a zoo of babies," he said happily. "And when the twins were born, I was in heaven. I had TWO babies to take care of."

"I never knew that you wanted to be a nurse," I said, hugging the sleepy Grey to my chest.

"I never really said anything. Bell would make me go to college and pursue my dreams, and at that point I didn't want to. I wanted to stay home with her and give her hugs and kisses all day and take care of Grey while you were at college," he shrugged. At the time I was in college, by the way.

"She has that effect on men," I laughed a little.

"Yeah. Like you didn't even know she was a polyandrist until she tried to marry me."

"I was so in love that I didn't care," I said sentimentally.

"See? I don't get how a love that deep can just… Fade. Tell me, man to man, did she piss you off or something? Was her… Lady parts… Not satisfactory anymore?"

I knew that even if I had dished some deep secret to him, he would somehow tell Bella. I trusted him- I did- but he didn't keep secrets from Bella.

"I couldn't tell you," I sighed. "I don't know."

"So you really do think that you fell for James too hard?"

"And Kendall."

"James is your favorite, though," Carlos smirked.

"I love them equally."

"ANYWAY, can we get back on topic?"

"I fell for them and that was okay. But then I started wanting to sleep with one of them instead of Bella, and sex with my own wife became a chore and-"

"Hey! Young ears," Carlos whispered.

"Grey, what's sex?" I said boredly, not even looking down.

"When mommies and daddies make sandwiches together," Grey said, looking up at me obediently. That's what I told him sex was. I know it's horrible.

Carlos burst into laughter, sitting up and laying Elly on the floor.

"She misses you," he said to me, looking up. "Bell."

"I miss her, too."

"There're things that you did that I guess we can't."

"Like what?"

"Like I dunno. That kissy thing you did."

I knew what he was talking about. I hadn't done it in a LONG time, but I started it early in our relationship. I would grab her and give her a peck on her little neck, getting her squirming, then I would kiss her cheek and then her lips, delivering quick pecks on them before nuzzling her neck and hugging her tight. It started the first time we said "I love you", and I was so happy I had to express it. It made her laugh and giggle and squirm and she loved it, so I kept doing it over the years. Since I started thinking about the divorce, though, I stopped.

"And she says that you cuddle different, and I can't figure it out."

"I don't really CUDDLE at all," I laughed. "I just sort of lay close to her and let her do what she wants."

When we were younger, Bella always complained that I was smothering her when we slept. Don't ask me- I don't know. So then I just started laying close- on my side with my hands to myself, our legs tangled or maybe my chest to her back with a simple arm draped over her side. She seemed to be happy with it- she was allowed to hold ME, if you will, and I don't know what made her like that so much. Sometimes she would have me lay MY head on her shoulder or she would hold me to her.

"That must be it. See, I'm a huge cuddler- I wanna breathe her air and attach myself to her and stuff," he laughed. "Kendall ends up sprawled out at the other end of the bed, and James holds her with like a death grip all night."

"Oh, I know," I laughed.

"Is it hard? Going from four spouses to none? From six kids to two?"

"Yeah. I get lonely and depressed a lot during the week. Sometimes Kendall'll stop by after practice or James'll come in for dinner, but most nights they don't. I don't ask them to. I don't want it to seem like they have to choose a side- I want them to love me, but they have to be devoted to Bella."

"But she understands," Carlos said softly. "She gets they you guys love each other a lot and told me that it's hard, but she's willing to share. As long as- like you said- they don't choose a side."

"She has a lot of deep conversations with you, eh?" I laughed. I couldn't help but note that I used to be the one to talk about these things with her.

"Yeah. Mostly when I rubbed lotion on her tummy or when we were doing dishes or getting ready for bed."

I smiled a little and looked down to see the Grey was limp and sleeping in my arms, Elly silent now, getting sleepy.

"If you're so depressed, why don't you come home?" Carlos asked, cradling Elly in the crook of his arm.

"I don't know. I'm stupid?"

"Says the smartest person I know."

"Do you think I'm being stupid about THIS, though?"

"Yes. You obviously still feel for Bell. Who doesn't? And you want your children to be with their mother. AND you want James and Kendall. So what's the problem?"

I was silent-thinking. Carlos was absolutely right.

"I'm not pressuring you into coming home or anything," he said, getting up. "But I just want you to see what's going on."

I got up, too.

"Thanks, Carlos. You helped me a lot."

We went to put the kids to bed, then he left, leaving me to eat one, two, and a half pieces of chocolate cake, drowning in my confusion. I didn't want to be alone right now. When I'm alone, I think too hard about things.

* * *

**Long chapter, but there was a lot I wanted in there! :D **

**Thank you all for your support. I feel like Logan Henderson reading fanmail or something. :D So this is Logan Henderson saying: I love you. :) **


	14. You Weren't There

I was treating a patient one slow Friday afternoon- simple saline in the eye to wash out sand- when there was suddenly yelling and running footsteps.

"Dr. Mitchell, there's been a car accident- you're the only doctor in the house. We need you," an older nurse said, poking her head in the door.

I nodded and quickly told the patient that a nurse would be in the finish the job and I hurried away.

Someone had already been rolled into a room in a stretcher by the time I got to the ambulance unloading dock.

I was shocked to see James there, my son in his arms bouncing him as Grey sobbed.

"James?"

James' eyes caught mine and he hurried to me.

"Daddy!" Grey sobbed, reaching for me.

"Daddy's working, bud, he can't hold you," James said quietly, pushing Grey's face to his shoulder.

"What're you doing here?" I asked.

"We were in the accident- me, Grey, Bell, and Georgie," James said, and my heart dropped.

"Oh my God. Are you okay? Is Grey okay?"

"We're fine. Go find Bell. She's bad, baby, you have to go make sure she's okay," James said, tears welling up in his eyes. "I think Georgie'll make it, too, but Bell's bad."

My heart must have stopped, because I was in shock.

"DR. MITCHELL, WE NEED YOU!"

"Go take care of our baby," James said tearfully as he and Grey were pulled to another room.

* * *

_"We're gonna make a snowman and a fort and throw snowballs and make snow angels," Georgia was saying happily to her brother in the next car seat in the minivan._

_"That's right, baby girl, we sure are," Bella said happily from behind the wheel, her hand warm in James'._

_James turned up the radio, singing along to the song as if he were serenading his wife, who smiled dreamily at him and his amazing voice._

_"Careful, babe, the roads are slick," James sang as the car fishtailed a little._

_"I've got it," she said._

_"Maybe I should drive," James said doubtfully._

_"Baby, have some faith in me!"_

_"Ooookay," James said in surrender._

_They were on a backroad now, on their way to a secret entrance to the park that few people knew about._

_"These roads are extra slick- I don't think the scraper trucks have been through here yet," Bella said uneasily._

_"Backroads aren't as important to them," James shrugged. "Pull over and let me drive."_

_"I got it. We're almost there."_

_Grey and Georgie were chattering in the back, excited to get to the park. Annie and Parker stayed home with Carlos- Annie not liking the cold and Parker always wanting to be with his Daddy. Bentley and Elly were too small to be out in such cold- 2 degrees, so Carlos stayed home with them._

_"Be careful, honey, this turn's sharp," James warned._

_"Jamie, I swear to God," Bella grumbled, hating to be told what to do. _

_She tried to slow the van down before they hit the right turn, but the ice kept them going._

_"Shit," Bella said quietly, looking for somewhere to pull into the snow and stop their momentum, only finding hills. "Shit, shit, JAMIE help!"_

_"Hit the brakes!"_

_"I am!"_

_James jerked on the steering wheel as they neared the turn._

_They both knew it was too late. _

_"Get the kids!" Bella said, James trying to protect her. "NOW!"_

_James' arm snapped backward to secure onto Grey's chest, pressing securely as Bella's arm went back for Georgie._

_The van slid sideways into the ditch, flipping once, threatening to flip again but settling on the hood._

_James sat there for a second, staring over at Bella, knocked unconscious, hanging upside down, her long hair and arms resting on the caved roof, which was scattered with toys. _

_Adrenaline hit James as soon as Grey started screaming._

_"GEORGIE'S DEAD!"_

_James tried to unbuckle his seatbelt, but it was jammed._

_"This is OnStar, is everyone okay?" came a voice._

_"MY WIFE AND HER DAUGHTER ARE UNCONCIOUS, MY WIFE'S SON AND I ARE OKAY," James called to the voice box._

_"Help is on the way."_

_James banged on his seatbelt, adrenaline letting him break free and fall to the roof._

_Grey was screaming and sobbing, holding Georgie's limp hand as they hung in their car seats._

_"Shh, it's okay, Grey," James said, trying to be calm as he reached over to the buckle on Grey's car seat. "Put your hands on the roof and push, okay? You're gonna fall."_

_James freed Grey and held the sobbing and shaking boy as he looked for an escape. _

_"Save Georgie and Mommy," Grey sobbed._

_"Grey, listen to me. Crawl out that window-" he pointed to a shattered window on their side of the van, "and wait for me, okay? I'm gonna get Georgie and Mommy."_

_Grey nodded tearfully and James kissed his bloody forehead before Grey hurried out and to safety._

_James freed Georgie first and laid her carefully in the snow, her hood up to keep the cold from her head._

_"Oh, how did this happen, Bells?" James whispered as he stared at his unconscious wife, hanging there. He found that he couldn't get her seatbelt undone. He put his cheek beside her open mouth and felt slight breaths coming out. _

_"Jamie, the bamblance is coming!" Grey called. James kissed Bella's bloody cheek and crawled out of the van to find Grey holding his sister, devastated, thinking she was dead as the ambulance and police and fire trucks neared._

* * *

I hurried into the room with nurses hustling around with tubes and wires and machines, a stretcher in the center.

_Please don't be Bella or Georgie. Let it be the other driver, if there is one._

A nurse grabbed my arm and pulled me to the stretcher.

Tears welled up in my eyes as I saw my wife, blonde hair scattered, some stained with blood. She was unconscious, her neck in a brace. Nurses were shoving breathing tubes down her throat, heart monitors on her fingers, I.V.'s in her veins. She had been electrically revived- I could tell by the way her shirt and bra were cut open and her chest had burns on them. The heart monitor beeped slowly and the breathing machine inflated her exposed chest.

"Dr. Mitchell! We need you to check her head for trauma!"

Tears spilled from my eyes as I stepped forward to feel her head, detecting a possible fracture and a definite concussion. I needed to know what happened. I needed to know if my son, Kendall's daughter, and my husband were okay.

Georgie was conscious when I got to her, being asked questions by nurses. Her yellowish green eyes lit up when she saw me, reaching for me with a wrapped up wrist, her shirt off, her chest wrapped up, and a bandaged set of stitches on her collarbone.

"Logie," she said tearfully. I hurried to her and accepted her hug.

"Do you know her, Dr. Mitchell?"

"She's my friend's daughter," I said. I pulled away and wiped the beautiful child's cheeks and blonde curls from her face.

"I'm scared. Where's Daddy?" she asked tearfully. I knew that nobody called Kendall about this- he was at practice and we never disturbed his practice time.

"He'll be here tonight, baby," I said, kissing her forehead.

"Where's Grey? I need Grey."

"I haven't been to see him yet, I'm going there next," I said, feeling her head for trauma and not finding any. "But I think he's fine. Just really scared."

"Grey? As in… Your son?" the nurse asked me.

"Yes… My wife is in critical condition, my son is here with my other friend."

"Go check on him. I've got her."

I thankfully nodded and hurried next door.

James was on the bed, Grey cradled in his arms as he sobbed and shook. James looked up at me as I neared.

"Have you been checked out?" I asked quietly.

"We're the least of their worries right now," he said. Grey looked up and saw me and reached for me tearfully. I picked him up and he held onto me for dear life, sobbing. I knew that I had let a few tears of my own slip. What if Grey had been seriously hurt? What if Georgie died? What if Elly was in the car with them? What if Bella doesn't make it? What if James died?

"Bell was driving," James said quietly. "We shouldn't have been out- the roads are horrible. But we were going to the park to play in the snow. We slid into a ditch and flipped."

"I was so scared, Daddy, and you weren't there to protect me," Grey sobbed. My heart broke into a billion pieces.

"I was supposed to come get you and take you to the park to play in the snow yesterday, wasn't I? But I had to stay at work late."

"Logan, don't pin this on yourself," James pleaded.

"I was just doing paperwork, James, I coulda done that any time. If I had just taken him, this woulda never happened," I said tearfully.

James stood and took Grey and I into his big and secure arms.

"Is Georgie dead?" Grey asked me fearfully.

"No, honey," I laughed a little. "She's awake. She has a sprained wrist, some broken ribs, and stitches."

"Can I see her?"

"Not yet. I have to make sure YOU'RE okay."

I dried my tears enough to inspect them. As of then, there were no broken bones- they wouldn't feel if there was any pain for a while, until the adrenaline left their systems. James' shoulder was dislocated.

"Bell ordered me to protect the kids instead of her. We put our arms back and held their chests so they wouldn't get too hurt."

My heart melted. They were both so sweet- saving the kids before themselves.

I popped James' shoulder back into place and found a deep gash on his lower stomach, where the seatbelt cut him. I had to sew that up.

As for Grey, he had a great protector, even if it wasn't me. Other than some cuts and bruises from flying toys, he was completely fine. But what would I have done if he wasn't okay? I didn't even want to think about it. It brought thoughts of a scenario where I was in Bella's condition, a scene of Grey sobbing over my body threatening me with tears.

"How's Bell?" James asked worriedly.

"Grey, go next door and keep Georgie company," I ordered, and my son gladly left. I didn't want him to hear about his mother's condition. The kids didn't worry about Mommy. Mommy never got hurt- she was strong and powerful.

I couldn't hold James' hands or lay my cheek on his shoulder or kiss him- I was in the workplace. But I sat beside him.

"She's in critical condition."

James let out a deep, slow breath, obviously shocked.

"Her head is possibly cracked and she has a concussion. Her collarbone is broken from the seatbelt and her shoulder was popped out of place like yours. Her shin is fractured and she's got a lot of broken ribs. There may be internal bleeding."

"I want to see her."

"No you don't, Jame, you'll think she's dead. It's bad. It'll just scare you."

"I have to see."

"Nobody but nurses and doctors are allowed to see her until we know all her injuries for sure and until she's stable."

"Stable?"

"She was dead, Jame," I said quietly. James stared at me, shocked, tears in his eyes. "She's revived now, doing well I think, but we aren't sure about her stability."

James leaned into me, shaking, tears falling.

"I wish she had let me drive."

"It still would have happened," I said soothingly.

"But I'm a man- I can take getting hurt. She's little and fragile- she might die."

I petted his hair as he cried, a few tears of my own slipping.

What if Bella does die? I wouldn't be able to tell her how I feel. I wouldn't be able to ask her for forgiveness and readmission to the family.

It hadn't hit me that that's what I wanted until that moment, when I thought it may never happen.

* * *

**We be nearing the end, my loving readers, and I am sorry to say that. **

**This chapter was the beginning of the end, and I know you're emotional right now, but does anyone have any ideas for the next story? I like to have two stories going at once, not including my collab. So once this one ends, I'll only have "Silence Is Serenity" (which you should all check out) so if you're just a reader and want to see an idea come to life, PM me or review it. :D I may not pick it, but I could do it in the future.**


	15. Depending On Each Other

Grey and I sat in the chair beside Georgie's bed, Grey dozing off in my arms. He was in Georgie's bed, but I told him that he couldn't sleep there- he might rip off her heart monitor or something. It was getting late- 10 o'clock- and it was past their bedtime. Carlos and the other kids already came and went, taking James with them. Grey, however, wanted to stay with Georgie a little longer. It was good, because I wanted to be there to tell Kendall what happened and comfort him when he got there.

Grey had been thoroughly convinced that Georgie had died in the accident. I guess to a three-year-old, looking over to see his sister unconscious and bloody, handing limp in her car seat would be scary and traumatic.

Georgie was asleep in her bed, and I was left alone with my thoughts.

Grey had been so excited for me to come and get him after work to take him to the park. It had been snowing all day and he was excited to go play in it while it was fluffy. I knew he was even more excited to spend time with me alone- we hadn't had father/son time in forever. I have to admit, I hate the snow, but I loved being with my son and taking a load off in such a stressful time. I was even planning on taking him out for dinner, too.

I was overloaded with patients and paperwork that day, though, and by the time 3 o'clock rolled around- I was getting off early that day- I found that I had too much paperwork to catch up on. I called Grey and told him I may be a little late. A few more hours passed and it was dark. I told him I would be there to take him to dinner- anywhere he wanted. I was ready to leave when an emergency hit- there was a housefire. I was one of three doctors there at the time, and there were a lot of burn victims.

James told me that Grey cried when I called to tell him I wouldn't make it and that we would go out another day.

If I had just taken the paperwork home, I could have done at lot of it that night. Then Grey wouldn't be itching to go to the park and James wouldn't feel so bad and he and Bella wouldn't have taken Grey and Georgie to the park and the accident never would have happened. Grey wouldn't have been so traumatized, Georgie wouldn't be hurt, the guys wouldn't be so scared for Bella, and Bella wouldn't be in such bad shape.

"Grey?" I murmured, smoothing down his hair. Grey's eyes opened sleepily and he looked at me. "I'm sorry I didn't take you to the park yesterday."

"It's okay, Daddy… You had work."

"But if I took you, the car accident would have never happened."

Grey looked troubled. I could tell he wanted to be mad at me, but he also sensed that I was fragile and he didn't want to hurt me.

"Everyone's okay, though," he offered. Nobody had told any of the kids about their mother. We told them that she was in another room sleeping. It wasn't a lie, but it wasn't the whole truth.

"You're sweet, baby," I smiled a little. "But I know you're mad. I'm mad at myself."

"I was excited to play with you," Grey said, twisting his little lips. "I never see you."

"I know, baby, but that's gonna change. Okay?"

"Okay."

I didn't want to tell him that we were moving back home. I planned on pleading for forgiveness if Bella woke up. I planned on trying to make up and move back home. But I didn't want him to get too excited- what if Bella dies? What if she woke up, but rejected me? I wouldn't be surprised- after all I've put her through, what makes me think that she would even WANT me back?

But I need her.

I realized after Elly was born that our separation has only made our love stronger. How did I ever think I DIDN'T love her? I dream about her blue eyes, her hair, her laugh, her voice… I miss her in my arms at night, talking quietly to me about her day. I miss telling her I love her before leaving for work in the morning. I miss taking her out to dinner once in a while- just me and her. If she doesn't pull through… I think that the family will fall apart.

Carlos may leave us and take Parker and Annie in his grief.

Kendall may get angry that I wouldn't choose between him and James and I would have to lose one of them and their child.

Grey would be without a mother.

Bella is the glue holding us all together, and without her, we are nothing.

The door opened and Kendall rushed in, clad in gym shorts and a heavy coat.

"Georgie," he gasped, and the girl stirred. He slowly walked to his daughter, looking absolutely devastated. I imagined I would look the same way if this happened to Grey or Elly.

Kendall sat on the bed, staring at his awakening daughter.

"Daddy?"

"I'm here, baby," he said, pulling her into his arms and holding onto her for dear life.

His nose was buried in her blonde curls, eyes closed, a tear escaping out the corner.

"I woulda been here sooner, but nobody called me until practice was over," he said. "I'm so sorry, pumpkin. I can't imagine how scared you were."

"Grey was here to give me hugs," she said.

"How do you feel?" Kendall asked, letting go of her. She showed him her stitches, her wrist, and her wrapped up torso.

Kendall was stricken with grief, I could tell. Nothing like this had ever happened to Georgie before and he had no idea what to do about it.

"I should have been there to protect you," he said quietly, putting curls behind her ear. Every father, I think, feels this way when their child gets hurt. Like it's their fault- if they were there, they would have protected their child with their life. But the truth is, Kendall and I had no way of knowing this would happen. We had to go to work and practice, trusting that our kids would be okay without us.

"Mommy did," she said. "And Grey was holding my hand."

Kendall smiled a little over at the groggy Grey.

"Thanks, G-man. Always looking out for my baby girl, aren't you?" he laughed somberly. Grey rubbed his eyes and nodded a little bit.

Kendall sighed and looked over Georgie again.

"I guess it could have been worse," he said. "Where's Mommy? Did she go home with everyone else?"

"No, she's sleeping across the hall," Georgie said, pointing to the door.

"What?" Kendall snapped, looking up at me. I could tell he thought that Bella was dead, and I had to calm him down. Just not in front of the kids.

I sat Grey in the chair and pulled Kendall out to the hall, closing the door behind me and standing before the panicking Kendall.

"The van slid and flipped into a ditch," I said quietly. "It flipped over Georgie and Bella's side."

"So they got the worst of it?"

"Bella did. Georgie can go home tomorrow."

Kendall backed away a little, looking at me warily.

"Bell's dead. Isn't she?"

"Kendall-"

"LOGAN. How could you let this happen?" he asked in a panic, backing away from me like I killed her with my bare hands.

"Kendall! She isn't DEAD," I hissed. He let out a little puff of air, looking in a shocked relief, frozen. I went to him, taking his hand and pulling him to Bella's room.

"We're not supposed to go in there- I'm off duty- but…"

I opened the door and we entered.

Kendall froze beside the door, which closed behind us. He stared at our wife accusingly, like it was all a lie- a dream- and someone was to blame for such cruelty.

"She was dead," I said, going to her to sit in the chair beside her bed. Her heart monitor beeped normally, an IV dripping medications and proteins into her arm, the breathing tube in her throat forcing her chin up. I heard Kendall let out a little sob, but didn't look up. "They revived her with electric shock, and they aren't sure if she's stable enough to be without the breathing tube just yet."

Kendall was silent, grieving on his own as I stared at my wife. Even with her hair tied back, cuts and bruises on her face cleaned up, and a huge tube shoved down her throat, she was still beautiful. It made me want to cry, but I had already done my crying. Now I needed to be strong for her, the kids, and the guys.

"What're the chances she'll pull through?" Kendall asked weakly, slowly nearing us.

"I'd say it's 50/50," I said quietly. Kendall let out another sob and covered his eyes. "It all depends on if she wakes up tomorrow."

"If she doesn't?"

"Then there's a good chance that there's internal bleeding and she has slipped into a coma. She won't make it long after tomorrow if she doesn't wake up," I said. I got up and let him sit in the chair, standing beside him, rubbing his back soothingly as he cried and stared at her.

"The kids don't know?" he asked me.

"No. Of course not."

* * *

Kendall stayed at the hospital with Georgie and Bella, but I had to take Grey home. Well, not home. We went to Bella's and the guy's house I didn't want James and Carlos to be alone.

The kids were sound asleep when I tucked Grey in with a kiss. I made sure Elly was okay in her crib- I knew Carlos would take good care of her- before going upstairs. I didn't want to think about the scenario where they would have brought Elly along to the park and she was in the accident. She would have died- no question.

I didn't get far before someone called my name on my way to James' room. I whirled around to find Carlos in his room, on his bed, hugging his knees, looking miserable.

My heart broke- I knew Carlos loved Bella more than anything and he was afraid for her.

I went to him and closed the door.

"H-how is she?" he sniffled as I sat with him and hugged him.

"Just the same as she was when you left," I murmured, kissing his hair.

"W-what if s-she doesn't wake up?"

"Don't talk about that, Los. She's Bella. She has to."

"I'm s-so scared, Logan. W-what're the chances?"

I couldn't bring myself to tell him what I told Kendall- 50/50, which was the truth. No, it would break this innocent soul's heart, and I couldn't do that.

"There's only about a twenty percent chance that she won't wake up tomorrow," I lied.

"Really? That l-low?" he asked hopefully. I smiled a little and rubbed his back soothingly.

"Come sleep with James and me," I said softly. "I don't want either of you to be alone."

I took Carlos' hand and pulled him up and to James' room.

I tapped on the door before opening it. I had entered his room once without knocking- it wasn't a good idea. I saw some things that embarrassed me, but not him.

"Hey, sexy," James smiled a little, propping himself up on an elbow to squint at me through the darkness, having been trying to sleep.

"Can we sleep with you?" I asked.

"Course."

I pulled Carlos to the bed where James was scooting over and he hesitantly laid beside James, me on his other side.

James turned on his side to look at Carlos pitifully.

"Don't worry, baby, she's Bell. She wouldn't leave without saying goodbye," he said quietly, wiping Carlos' cheeks before rubbing his thumb below his nose to clean the snot. He was like a mother.

I heard Carlos sniffle and James took him in his arms, looking at me over his head and smiling a little.

"You just need to sleep," he whispered to Carlos, looking me in the eyes. "It'll be better in the morning. Kenny'll call us and tell us that she woke up, and we'll all go down there and she'll be so happy to see us."

He reached over to wipe his thumb across my cheek, picking up tears that I didn't know were there.

He turned his head to give Carlos' temple a long James kiss, rubbing his back as Carlos drifted off.

"It's okay to cry, babe," James whispered to me. "You love her a lot, and you know exactly what's going on with her."

I let out a sob that I didn't know was waiting, tears spilling from my eyes, dripping from the bridge of my nose, staining the pillow.

"I DO love her a lot," I sobbed. "What if she never wakes up? What if I never get to ask her to take me back?"

Somehow James knew about my plans. That, or he was good at containing his surprise, because he didn't even flinch.

"C'mere, sugar-ass," he whispered, reaching out his arm for me. I weakly scooted in against Carlos for James' hand to rest on my ribs, his thumb rubbing up and down.

I sobbed into Carlos' back, trying not to wake him up. James shushed me like a mother shushing her crying baby, hand rubbing up and down my ribs.

I wasn't sure if James just knew that Bella would be okay, because he always seemed to know, or if he was just being strong for us. Either way, I was glad he was being a rock for me. Carlos especially- he was torn up.

For the first time in a long time, we husbands needed each other. We needed each other for comfort, to take care of the kids, for strength, for reassurance. For once, Carlos had to join us in bed because James was the best at comforting. For once, I was crying, I was scared, I was panicking.

"Loge?" James whispered once I had almost dozed off. I hummed in response. "When she wakes up, you have to hold onto her and never let go. That's what she needs the most."

Then I fell asleep.

* * *

**Only a few more chapters, sorry to say.**

**I'm starting school again Monday, so I won't be sitting around writing all day and it might take longer to get chapters out there. **

**If anyone has any more ideas, I'm open. :D I'm gonna be starting on a new story very soon, I just don't know what it'll be about.**


	16. It's A Process

**Oh gosh, guys, the wedding was Saturday. :') How did they plan a whole wedding in three months? What the hell?**

**Anyway, I'm pretty excited about it other than the fact that I know nothing- I didn't even know when it was until I got home today. Fuck. The only thing that disturbs me is... Guys... Carlos is having a lot of sex right about now. I mean, I'm pretty sure they've done it before, but like... They're doing it now for sure. **

**Anyway, not sure how much we'll get to know about the wedding. Hopefully we'll at least get to see some pictures. I know a lot of people took pictures from the beach, but I want to see what Alexa's dress looked like and I wanna see my boys in their tuxes (if they wore them- I don't think Carlos wore a tux) and I want to see who the groomsmen are other than James and what the bridesmaids dresses were like. :)**

**Okay.**

**Now I couldn't very well put this note at the end of the chapter or it would ruin the effect, but I need you to get into serious mode now. I know there're happy or sad or mized feels in you now, but I need you in sad mode. Ready? You're there.**

* * *

All I could think was "How will we ever tell the kids?"

Kendall's face was buried in my shoulder, my arms around him as he bawled, his fingers curled into my shirt.

Carlos had left. It was 3 AM the night after the accident. Bella should have woken up hours and hours ago. Carlos yelled and screamed at her, crying, panicking. James had tried consoling him, but Carlos ran away, not to be seen again.

James had gone for a walk through the hospital, trying to contain his tears. He blamed himself for not driving the car instead of Bella. He blamed himself for not being able to save them from the wreck.

I wasn't sure if I had fully absorbed that Bella's sleeping form meant certain death for her. Kendall sure as hell had, but not until just minutes ago.

"I thought for sure she wouldn't leave without saying goodbye," he sobbed, starting to collapse. I slowly sank to the linoleum with him, holding him, rocking him.

"She hasn't left yet," I said quietly.

"But she won't wake up!" Kendall sobbed. "I didn't get to tell her I love her!"

Then it hit me.

I would never get to tell Bella I love her and ask her to take me back.

She was going to die.

The mother of our children, the glue to our family. She was dying.

Tears flooded my eyes and I buried my face in Kendall's hair. He was stinky and probably starving, having not gone home since he got here and not eating anything.

* * *

None of us had really seen one another for a while. It was the next day, and really I had only seen James.

James, Kendall, Carlos and I all stayed in our rooms and grieved.

Carlos didn't even come out to take care of the kids or eat. James and I took care of the kids and everyone else while Kendall spent time at the hospital, hoping for something that wouldn't happen, and Carlos cried in his room.

"Daddy, how come you're not at work?" Grey asked me as I sat him at the table with the other kids and James brought them grilled cheese for lunch.

"I have a while off," I said.

"Why?"

"So that I can take care of you."

We hadn't told the kids about Bella. Not until she actually dies. For now, Mommy was at the hospital sleeping and healing.

"Fank you, fank you!" Bentley said happily from his high chair as James put a sandwich on the tray. James smiled a little and kissed his son's cheek, Bentley fascinated by the stubble on his father's face. I had a fair amount of stubble on my chin, but who gives a fuck anymore?

I sat in the chair before Elly's high chair, plastic baby spoon and mashed carrots in my hands.

Elly gave me a toothless, slobbery grin and her little tongue wiggled.

I hated that she could cheer me up. I shouldn't be happy right now, but I had to smile.

I spooned orange goop into her little mouth, scraping it from her chin and feeding it to her as she ate. I loved feeding babies, but right now it was a chore. I wanted to just curl up and die right now.

After lunch was done, I put Elly in her rocker with a teething ring as the kids started playing again.

James stood at the sink to do dishes, staring blankly out the window. He was taking it hard, but he thought he had to be strong for us.

I came up behind him and hugged his waist, my cheek on his shoulder blade.

"How are we gonna take care of six kids?" he asked absently. A tear stained the back of James' t-shirt and I sniffled.

"I think Carlos'll leave," I said quietly. "And he'll take Parker and Annie."

"I don't want him to leave. I love Carlos."

"There're too many memories here for him."

"You don't think Kendall'll take Georgie, do you? Logie… You won't leave me in this big house alone with Bent, right?"

I rubbed James' sternum from behind.

"Kendall won't leave us," I said. "Not if I don't want him to."

"He'll expect you to choose one of us."

"Then that sucks for him, because I won't."

"He comes from a polygamist family, Logie, he'll go and find a bunch of wives. He won't take into consideration that we love him and that Grey can't live without Georgie."

Suddenly I was afraid. Kendall wouldn't leave me, right? He loved me enough to stay… Right?

"Don't worry," James said, turning to me. "I… Will NEVER leave you. Okay? I love you just as much as I love Bella, and I can't lose two beautiful people in such a short time."

James pressed his lips to my forehead for a long time before pulling them away and putting his arms around me.

"We'll get through this. It'll be hard… But we'll get through."

Suddenly I was sobbing into his chest.

"I never got to tell her I love her," I said through my tears. "I- I never got to ask her to take me back. I love her, James, and now she's gonna die and I can't do anything about it."

James rubbed my back and shushed me.

"The Lord wouldn't put anything in our lives that he didn't think we could overcome," he whispered.

"Now our kids don't have a mom. How do we explain this to them?"

"We'll cross that bridge when it comes. IF it comes."

"FUCK YOU!" I was suddenly angry, tearing away from him and staring at him with tear-flooded eyes. "You can't say 'if'! It'll happen! It's inevitable! You can't keep giving me false hope- you and me and Carlos and Kendall have to accept it, and so far it's only me and Carlos who's doing that!"

James didn't look hurt or angry. He just stood with his head bowed, peering up at me from where a few longer strands of his hair slumped down into his eyes.

"Right now I need you to accept it so we can move on together! If Kendall's gonna dwell and hope, fine! Maybe I'll be somewhat healed by the time he learns to accept it and I can help him!"

"Logie, you don't have to yell. I'm right here."

"I have to yell because I'm panicking and I'm emotional and I don't know how to deal with it!" I sobbed, James taking me in his arms.

"If I accepted this," James murmured in my ear. "Then I would be worse off than Carlos. Right now, you need me to be strong so I can help you. I'll wait until my wife dies for real before I panic."

I started to choke and suffocate.

"Shh… Logie, you have to breathe."

"I c-can't," I sobbed. Suddenly there was a cry coming from the living room, and I knew it was Elly.

"Okay, now it's time to be big, strong Daddy," James whispered as I pulled away from him. He wiped my face with his hands and kissed my nose. "Are you okay?"

"No," I mumbled, going off to attend to my baby.

"Daddy, how come you and Jamie are fighting?" Grey asked as I picked Elly up from her rocker and held her against my shoulder.

"We're just upset," I said, smoothing down his hair. "It's okay."

"I love you."

"I love you, too."

I bounced Elly as I walked to her and Grey's bedroom to change her diaper. She had quieted down now that I had her.

I entered the room and jumped out of my skin when I saw Carlos in there, curled up against the wall beside the crib, a stubbly beard on his face and bags beneath his reddened eyes.

"Los?" I asked warily. Carlos looked up at me numbly and got up.

"I was just sitting here thinking," he slurred sleepily.

"Why here?"

"It smells like babies."

I laid Elly on the changing table and Carlos stood beside it, staring absently at my daughter. Elly giggled and reached for him, her tongue sticking out, her little black eyes glowing. He took her slobbery hand and she curled her fingers around his as I unstrapped her diaper.

"Have you slept? You don't look like it," I said as I wiped her.

"Sorta. But I kept having bad dreams."

"James is good at chasing those away."

"No… You and the kids need him. I just want to be alone for a while," he said quietly.

"I get it."

"Why are you so calm?"

"I'm not."

Carlos nodded a little.

"You were gonna ask to be taken back, right?" he asked.

"Yeah…"

Carlos nodded a little.

"Are you going to move? Take Annie and Parker and just… leave?"

"Maybe," Carlos said gruffly. "I'm not gay. I love you guys, but there's no reason for me to say. I want Annie and Parker to be in the kids' lives, and I want to still hang with you guys. Just not here. Once IT happens, we aren't legally married anymore."

I nodded understandingly.

"How long?" he asked. "Before it happens?"

"Probably tomorrow," I said softly. Bella would die tonight, tomorrow, or tomorrow night. Carlos seemed to crumble a little, looking away.

"What're the chances she'll wake up now?" he asked, eyes holding just a glimmer of hope. I couldn't lie to him this time.

"Slim. I'd say one in a billion."

"LOGAN? LOS?" James called, and suddenly he was standing in the doorway, looking excited. "Kendall called. Bell's moving."

Bella. You shithead.


	17. Waking Up

**So I think I broke my FanFiction, because every time I clicked on Manage Stories, this error message would pop up. All day. And I did what it told me to- I had to email this thing to this address, but it didn't work. So it's finally working now, thank God.**

**Oh, and I was supposed to go back to school yesterday, but it was cancelled yesterday and today due to negative temps. I sorta got depressed yesterday and didn't write much- I was mad about the whole Penavega thing, but I'm fine now, I still love my Carlos and I'm happy that all our boys were groomsmen and all is well. Please don't get mad because I was upset about the Penavega thing. A lot of people get mad about that, but you guys shouldn't because I'm over it now. Just enjoy the story! :)**

* * *

I woke up to find that my lids were too heavy to open.

I tried to groan, but I shouldn't. Something was shoved down my throat.

Someone was holding my hand and I could hear someone sobbing. I squeezed the hand, pain shooting up my wrist. With that squeeze, I could tell it was Kendall holding my hand. His hands were rough and his fingers were long. James' were big and soft, Carlos' small and loving, Logan's the careful and gentle hands of a doctor.

The sobbing stopped a little.

"Bell?" Kendall whispered.

I tried opening my eyes, but my lids were so heavy. I furrowed my brows and tried to shift, but my whole fucking body hurt.

"Bell? Are you there?" he asked. I squeezed his hand again, and suddenly he was laughing. What the HELL, Kendall, I'm hurting! Stop laughing and tell me what's going on!

Suddenly he was talking, but not to me.

"James? Get down her NOW- she's moving," he said hurriedly. There was no response, so I guess he was on the phone.

I was finally able to force my eyes open, and all I could see was a blurry image of baby blue walls, a white ceiling, and a blank TV in high corner of the walls. Where the hell was I? I didn't have any baby blue walls in my house.

I looked down to see some contraption in my mouth, forcing it open. It was clear and had a vacuum looking hose attached to it. I heard beeping nearby, and the tube was making hissing sounds. My right arm was in a sling, and my leg was hung up in a pink cast. All of my muscles hurt like bloody death.

I looked over to find that Kendall was staring at me with teary eyes, hand over his mouth.

"I never thought I'd see those eyes again," he said weakly.

Shut up and kiss me, asshole.

Kendall got up and I heard a loud beep before he sat down again.

"You're in the hospital, baby," he said softly, taking my hand in both his. "You were in a car accident. We thought you were going to die today."

The door opened and I hoped for Dr. Logan coming in in his sexy doctor's uniform, giving me a big grin and kissing me and telling me he loves me. It wasn't him, though. It was another male doctor- not near as sexy as Logie.

He stared at me for a long time in disbelief before he started laughing.

"Good morning, Mrs. Mitchell," he laughted, coming to me. I loved being called that- I never wanted to be called anything else. Pretty soon I would be Mrs. Garcia, though.

The doctor came to me and pulled something off of my face, jarring something in my throat. He pulled the thing and it came out, my mouth feeling weird as it closed and I was able to breathe on my own. Was that thing breathing for me?

Kendall let go of my hand and put a straw to my lips, telling me to drink. I sucked and found water pouring into my mouth. I had no idea how thirsty I was until I couldn't stop drinking until it was empty.

The doctor was checking my vital signs, mumbling something about a miracle.

Kendall got up and bent to kiss my lower lip, then my forehead. He sat on the bed beside me and pushed hairs behind my ear gingerly.

"What happened?" I asked hoarsely.

"You don't remember?"

I looked up at the doctor, confused, then back at Kendall.

"You were in a car accident, honey," he said softly. "The doctors said that if you didn't wake up yesterday, you were going to die- no question. And you didn't wake up. I was here saying goodbye, and suddenly you're awake."

I thought back to the last thing I could remember. Kissing Carlos goodbye. I don't remember where I was going or who I was going with, but I remember kissing Carlos goodbye and telling him I love him.

"Nobody called me to tell me that my family was in a car accident until after practice," Kendall said. "I was pissed."

Oh, shit. Who else was in the accident? Were they hurt? What if one of my babies was hurt? I bore my children (all except Grey) and raised them and loved them with all my heart- if I lost one of them… It would mean the end of me.

"Who else?" I asked.

"You, Georgie, Grey, and James," Kendall said. "Grey and James went home fine. Grey had a great protector. Actually, I think James got some stitches, but that's it."

"Georgie?" I pressed.

"Our Georgie is okay," Kendall smiled a little. "She was knocked out, but you and James reached back and made sure the kids weren't hurt by the straps of their car seats, so I think it could have been a lot worse. She has a sprained wrist, some broken ribs, and stitches. James protected Grey with his life, and he's fine, and you did all you could for Georgie. She thinks her stitches are the shit."

I grinned. Oh, my Georgie. She was just like me in so many ways, including her bravery and strength.

"Where's Logan?" I asked.

"Logan, James, and Carlos are on their way," Kendall laughed.

"I need Logan."

"Why?"

I couldn't answer the question- I didn't know. Logan just made me feel better, no matter what the circumstances. He had this look in his eyes that told me everything was okay.

"I love him."

"I know, baby," Kendall smiled a little.

"I love you, too," I said quickly. "But I miss him a lot. I haven't seen him in forever."

"He was on duty when the accident happened."

I just imagined Logan casually coming into this room, hearing that a woman was hurt in an accident, and seeing that it was me. Was he crushed? Or was he happy? Did he hope I would die so that he could have James and Kendall to himself?

Suddenly I was afraid to see him.

What if he was mad that I was alive? What if he wanted me dead?

The door opened and my husbands poured in.

Carlos was sobbing before he even reached the bed. He sat in Kendall's place and buried his face in my sore chest, sobbing hysterically. Oh, Carlos. My sweet, sweet Carlos.

"I thought you were dead," he sobbed. I lifted my arm and ignored the searing pain to rub his back.

"I wouldn't leave without saying goodbye," I said softly. After a second, he lifted his head and peppered my painful face with sweet kisses. Then his dark eyes bore into mine. "I love you so much, Bell. That was the last thing I told you."

"I love you, too, Los. So much," I said quietly as he kissed me. I really did love him more that I could tell him, like the others. He was my sweet Carlos, who worshipped me like a Goddess.

Next James sat in Carlos' place, grinning.

"I knew you wouldn't leave us," he said softly, bending to place a lingering kiss on my forehead.

"Never."

"I love you, Bells," he whispered before kissing my lips. I love his kisses- everyone does. They were so gentle, yet full of passion and made you want to rip your clothes off and present yourself to him on a silver platter.

"I love YOU. And Jamie? Thank you for taking care of my Grey in the accident."

"Of course, baby," he smiled. He got up and all eyes turned to Logan. He was just staring at me as he slowly went to sit on the bed.

"Are you mad?" I asked, dreading the answer.

"What?" he laughed, showing me those adorable dimples as he sat.

* * *

I couldn't believe what I was hearing. She thought I was mad? About what?

"For not dying…" she said softly. My heart broke and I tried to blink away tears.

"Bell…"

"Then you would have Jamie and Kenny to yourself," she said, eyes tearful. "I told you, we can share."

I was speechless. Was I really that bad?

"Why would you ever think that I would want you dead?" I asked quietly, tears in my voice. "I love you."

"Shut up, asshole. That's not okay to tell me right now."

I fell silent. I knew she was cranky and emotional from the pain, and I shouldn't have expected her to magically take me back.

"Loge, we're going down to get some food," James said softly, sensing that Bella and I needed alone time. I turned to him and he kissed my cheek before he, Carlos, and Kendall left.

"How close was I to dying?" she asked me, seemingly not mad anymore.

"There was a 50/50 chance," I said. "But at this point, it was a one in a billion chance you would wake up."

"I need a god damn lottery ticket," she retorted sarcastically, making me laugh. "How're Grey and Georgie?"

"I woke up yesterday morning and Grey was sobbing in his bed, telling me his muscles hurt, I guess it was whiplash. James was really sore, too. Georgie went home yesterday- she's a trooper like her mommy."

She reached over for my hands and I took them in mine, looking down at them.

"The day it happened, I was planning on going down to the house after work and talking to you about calling off the divorce," I said softly. "Then the accident happened and I thought I would never be able to ask for your forgiveness."

"Logie… You hurt me really bad," she said softly. "I've been trying so hard to get over you, and suddenly you want me back."

"I shouldn't have expected you to want me back. I just thought I'd let you know," I said.

"I want to, but I shouldn't take you back for what you did to me and to my family, to my husbands. You broke us, Logie, and you're an asshole for that."

My heart broke. How could she say these things to me?

"I think I actually hate you, Logan," she said in realization.

I reached up to swipe a tear. Of course she hates me. What did I expect?

"It's hard to love someone's every flaw, every move, every detail for so long, and suddenly he doesn't love you back. Suddenly he leaves you, your kids, your husbands, because he can't live with the guilt. Logan, I cried myself to sleep every night for most of that first month because I love you so fucking much, and I couldn't see you or talk to you. I never hurt that much in my life. The guys were worried about me. I guess after Elly was born and you still wanted the divorce, my pain turned to hate, and dammit, Logan STOP THAT!"

I jumped, eyes wide.

"Stop what?"

"Stop being so fucking sexy! Stop it! You make it so hard to be mad at you!"

"I'm not doing anything!" I said in defense.

She sniffled and shook her head, looking away.

"Well… I guess I should leave, then," I said softly, starting to get up.

"Stop," she grumbled, making me sit again. "I don't hate you. I'm just grumpy because my whole fucking body hurts and I'm still confused about everything. I'm sorry that I made you cry, baby, I didn't mean to."

Wow. Wooooooow. That's our Bella- such a little asshole. But for some reason we're all head-over-heels for her.

"I don't know how you guys let me get away with being such a little shithead all the time," she said. "I mean, why have you guys not all divorced me?"

"I was thinking the same thing," I laughed.

"But do you get that what you did was fucking retarded and I resent you for it?" she asked. I sighed and nodded in admittance.

"I resent myself."

"Good. Now give me kisses and make it better."

Without hesitation, I bent and locked our lips together.

"Now take off your pants and lock the door," she said simply, making me laugh as we kissed.

* * *

**Let's be real here. Isn't this what everyone would say if they were alone in a room with Logan? "Now take off your pants and lock the door."**

**I had this chapter all written out, then I deleted it on accident. I hate rewriting things. :P**

**And sorry if the beginning was confusing- I tried to make it clear that it WAS Bella, and then it was Logan.**


	18. Trying For Normal

Bella sat happily on the couch, her broken leg elevated on a stool, the kids playing in front of her as she watched TV. She was holding Elly, James asleep on her shoulder.

"Put your tongue back in your mouth, silly girl," Bella said happily, holding Elly up in front of her. Elly giggled and reached out a slobbery hand to touch Bella's nose. "Oh, you're just PRECIOUS!"

I stood in the kitchen making hotdogs for everyone for dinner, Carlos by my side making macaroni. I was supposed to be moving out of my apartment soon, but for now I needed to take care of Bella.

I had just gotten back from work and was tired, but happy to be home.

"Hey, sexy," someone said charismatically as I felt them press against my back, hands on my lower stomach. I looked back to see Kendall there looking over my head at what I was doing.

"What about me?" Carlos pouted, making us laugh. Kendall reached over to squeeze Carlos' cheeks with one hand.

"You're a sexy beast, too, Los, don't worry."

"Someone go wake James up and tell everyone dinner's done?" I asked, squirting mustard on the last of the hotdogs. You would be surprised at how much of a process making such a simple meal for my family is. It takes a team of two. You have to cut up Bentley and James' hotdogs into slices, because Bentley is a baby and James just likes them that way. Then you have to put Kendall and Georgie's hotdogs on an ORGANIC bun, because Kendall is picky that way. Bella, Grey, Annie, and I only like mustard, Bentley and Kendall only like ketchup, and Carlos, James, Parker, and Georgie all like ketchup AND mustard. Bella and I always ate two hotdogs, Carlos, James, and Kendall always have three, and the kids eat one. Then you need the other person on your team to load plates with mac 'n cheese, chips being available at the table, and to make sure all the orders are perfect.

"Hey! Watch it!" I heard Bella squeal and laugh, Elly's adorable baby laugh in there with it. I turned to see Carlos tickling James awake, James wiggling and giggling, trying not to hurt Bella beside him. Kendall helped me set plates in everyone's spots as kids sprinkled in and sat in their seats.

* * *

James and Carlos were up late watching a movie, Kendall in the shower, leaving only Bella and I. I knew I had to make and attempt to get things back to normal between us, so I went to find her.

I heard talking from the bathroom and made my way there, seeing Bella brushing her hair in front of the mirror, Kendall in the shower singing. He was a great singer and he knew it, so he didn't mind everyone hearing.

I came in and leaned on the door frame, which her crutches leaned on, too.

"Do you think I should get my hair cut off?" she asked, twisting her lips as the pulled her hair to the side. It was long and wavy, coming down to the middle of her back.

"Why?" I asked. I loved her hair, honestly.

"I dunno- just a little change. I'm getting tired of managing it."

"How short?"

"I dunno- maybe just shoulder length?"

"Whatever you want."

"But would it look okay?"

"I think it would."

She backed up and flung her head between her knees, gathering her hair up and into a messy bun before straightening up again. That always confused me- she told me she did it that way because it got all the hair and there were no bumps, but it seemed weird to do it that way.

I came into the bathroom as she started brushing her teeth, me hugging her back. It was a small gesture, but things have been sort of weird between us lately. And it only got weirder when she shrugged and wiggled, making me let go. I looked up in the mirror at her, but she dared not look at me.

Finally she rinsed her mouth and put her toothbrush away.

She stared at us in the mirror, looking troubled. I hope she wasn't thinking about if we looked wrong together or anything like that.

"I should start hitting the gym with Jamie and Kenny," she said, relieving my worries.

"Why?"

"I still have baby weight. Normally I would have lost it by now."

"Well you've had five kids, baby, you shouldn't expect to recover your figure all the way," I said simply. I remember the days when we were younger, before even Grey, when she was thin with an exceptional backside and pretty amazing "jugs" as she called them. Back when she didn't have a worry in the world but being in love and having fun. Now that I think of it, isn't that how she lives even now?

Honestly, even as we spoke, I thought she was even sexier.

"I think you're even sexier now, hon," Kendall said over the shower. "I mean, since you HAVE had five kids, your tits got nicer." This made Bella burst into laughter, but I had to agree. "Made your ass bigger, but in a good way. And it put some meat on your bones."

"You're sweet."

"But I WOULD like to maybe watch you for a while on a treadmill," he said, a hint of charisma in his voice. "Oh! Or maybe jump roping!"

"Kendall, you perv," Bella laughed.

"Or jumping jacks," Kendall said, turning the water off and stepping out. God, his body is sexy. He IS a hockey player- of course he's got abs and muscles and a sexy chest with a bit of dirty blonde hair on it.

Bella laughed and grabbed her crutches, crutching toward my room, indicating that I should follow.

"Do I get a sleepover tonight?" I asked hopefully as she let her crutches crash to the carpet and she plopped down on the bed.

"Do I have to share?" she pulled me to her by my PJ pants and hugged me, her cheek to my lower stomach.

"Not if you don't want."

I heard through the baby monitor James and Carlos laughing in the living room, since the bedroom door was cracked and they were a loud couple when they got to having fun.

"Don't think that I hate you," she said, cheek still on my stomach. "I love you. It's just hard to get back to normal."

"I know."

"That thing in the bathroom- I just-"

"It's okay."

"Logan," she said, looking up at me. "I just didn't want my junk all up in your junk when I bent to spit."

I burst into laughter, making her laugh, too.

"You're so silly," I said cutely, my hands embracing her jaw and neck as she looked up at me, my thumb running over her lips. She surprised me when she opened her mouth to nip my finger, making me laugh.

"Can my junk be all up in your junk now, though?" she asked, wiggling her brows.

"Are you ready for that?" I asked, turning serious. "It's only been a few days."

She gently lifted my t-shirt to kiss my stomach. Jesus, I hated that- always will. I mean, yeah, it felt nice, but Bella and James and Kendall did that, thinking it "warmed me up", but really it made me self conscious. I was the softest of us all by far. James and Kendall had sexy abs and even Bella had a naturally thin frame. I knew Carlos had some nice Daddy muscles down there, too. And of course they all said that my tummy was "adorable", but I say fuck that. I'm a doctor- I don't have time to work up abs. I'm somewhat fluffy, or "huggable", as James put it, and I didn't want people touching my tummy, much less kissing it.

"C'mon, baby, you know I hate that," I groaned.

"I missed your tummy," she pouted.

"Beeeeell!"

"Come ON, Logie, you're my sexy doctor husband! I think ALL of you is sexy."

"Is that all I am to you guys? Your sexy doctor husband?" I laughed, pushing her down to lay on the bed so I could kiss her bruises and scratches. I would have to be gentle with her.

"Mmm," she hummed. "Yup. That's it."

* * *

Bella and I lay in my bed, her on her back, me on my side cuddled up to her, my face toward the crook of her neck.

"Does a man and a woman feel different?" Bella asked me wondrously, knocking me out of my doze.

"Hm?"

"I know they let you top a lot. You have to know. Which one feels better? And I won't get mad."

"Men," I said gruffly. "They're tighter."

"Are you sure it's not just me being loose? I've popped out kids before," Bella laughed.

"I wouldn't know- I've never had sex with another woman," I said. "I don't remember what you felt like at first."

Bella seemed to accept this, going silent. I was dozing off again when she spoke, tearing me from my sleep.

"Did the nurses know about the divorce?" she asked, turning her face so it was only centimeters from mine.

"No."

"So they've always been handsy with you?"

"Yes. You know this."

"Do you like it? When they get all flirty?"

"Bell," I laughed.

"Oh, Dr. Mitchell," she mocked in a sexy voice. "I think I need a checkup."

I laughed at this, burying my forehead in her shoulder.

"You love it, don't you?" she giggled. I knew she wouldn't be mad if I said yes, and maybe I DID love the attention.

"Maybe a little."

"Do they ever grab your crotch when they pass you?"

"No," I giggled. "Sometimes they 'subtly' touch my ass."

"And I bet they always touch your hair, right? Always trying to fix it?"

"Maybe."

"And they always ask about Grey and Elly, and they ask how you and I are doing?"

"Why does this matter?"

"It doesn't," Bella laughed. "I'm asking for a friend."

"Tell your 'friend' that I'm a sexy doctor and I can't help that all the sexy nurses want me to bend them over the examination tables and fuck their brains out."

"Logie! That was cruel!" she laughed, elbowing me.

"I don't think they know about me being gay, though," I laughed. "I don't need the male nurses in on this."

"Oh, Dr. Mitchell," Bella began in a deep voice, me laughing and putting my hand over her mouth. I didn't need that image. We took a second to simmer down.

"You know, most wives would be pissed off about their husbands being hit on at work," I noted.

"Nah- I know you're sexy, there's no trying to hide you. But don't tell Kendall- he'll be at their throats."

I giggled at the image of Kendall trying to attack all the nurses at the ER, angry that they were making googly eyes at his husband.

"I think James would kinda nudge them and say something like 'I bet you wanna tap that, eh? Well I HAVE tapped that. It's pretty amazing'," Bella said in a mock James voice.

"You're high on pain meds," I laughed.

"A little."

"I'm gonna go get some water- do you want anything?" I asked, getting up.

"No, I'm okay," she said sweetly, and I made for the door, pulling up some boxers on the way.

I had almost reached the stairs when I was practically attacked. I jumped and turned defensively to find James looking at me through the dark.

"You fucked!" he said excitedly.

"James!"

James buried his nose in my neck, inhaling.

"You smell like fuck. Me and Kendall heard you through the walls. Well, we heard Bells. I'm pretty sure Japan heard Bells," James laughed before touching my hips, pressing his against mine. "It was hot, actually."

"Oh God, you and Kendall got horny together?" I laughed, feeling James' hard-on against me.

"We almost fucked, too," James grumbled. "But Georgie woke up with a nightmare and Kendall's down there now."

"Awe, poor baby," I pouted sarcastically.

"I know, right? Can you help me?" he asked, wiggling his brows.

"I promised Bella she wouldn't have to share me."

"Right here right now! Get on your knees!" he said in mock defense, obviously joking.

"Creep into Carlos' room and give em a surprise," I said deviously.

"He'd go for it, too," James smirked.

"I know he would. He's in looooove with you," I said jokingly.

"Who isn't?"

I lightly punched his stomach and jumped when I saw a face behind James, a finger in front of Kendall's lips, telling me to be quiet. He then grabbed James' ribs, James jumping and instinctively whirling around and punching Kendall in the stomach.

"Son of a bitch!" Kendall hissed, doubling over.

"I'm sorry!" James whispered, hugging Kendall tight. "I'm sorry! I'm soooo sorry! You know you can't sneak up on me!"

I slipped past them when James started peppering Kendall's face with apologetic kisses.

* * *

**One last chapter. It's gonna be a fast forward- I'm thinking Grey 19, Elly 16?**

**I need ideas- what should they be like as teenagers? I was thinking a sassy Elly and an overprotective Grey, but I'm not sure yet. Anyone have ideas? :D**


	19. The End

**Anon: Yeah, I thought about another chapter before the end, but then I was like- "20 chapters? Too mainstream. 19 is better." No, just kidding. :D Truth be told, I have no clue what I would put in an extra chapter before the end, other than just moving in. I'm sorry. :D**

**Guest: Thanks for telling me you thought that. :D And thanks for not being a butt about it, too. I appreciate that more than you know. **

**Everyone else: Thanks for your reviews and support! I hope you review and tell me what you thought about the story. **

* * *

"Sissy, get OUT!" I heard Grey bellow from his bedroom.

"Greeeey!" I heard Elly retort.

"Get out or I'm telling Mom!"

Bella and I giggled and shook our heads. That was always the threat- you didn't want to deal with Mom's wrath.

"I got this one," I said, getting up from our spot on the couch.

"Hey! What the HELL, guys!" I said, entering the bedroom. I wasn't surprised to find the 13-year-old Elly on Grey's bed, dark hair splayed out and her legs up the wall, looking up at me. Grey looked at me for assistance, being 16 and my height down to the 1/4th inch, his hair still made neat.

"Tell her to get out," Grey ordered.

"Why?"

"Cause she's being annoying and I'm trying to study."

"I offered to help him study," Elly said, sass forever in her voice.

"I'm getting really sick of this fighting," I said sternly. "Why can't you get along?"

"I'm getting along," Elly sang.

"Daaaaaad," Grey whined.

"El, this isn't your room anymore, it's not up to you to stay," I said.

"But-"

"PLEASE?"

Elly sighed and flipped off the bed to leave.

"You know, you're not intimidating when you yell at her and call her 'sissy'," I smirked as Grey sat at his desk. He and Bentley shared the room again, Georgie and Elly sharing another room, then Annie and Parker in another.

"Yeah, yeah," he sighed.

"Do you call her that at school?" I giggled.

"No. I don't even talk to her at school. And if I did, I'd probably play the 'What is it? ELISE?' card."

"You would not. You love her too much."

"Doubtful."

"Any big brother who still calls his little sister 'sissy' at 18 years old loves her too much to do that to her," I laughed.

"She's just annoying."

"No, you're just too different."

"Got that right," he grumbled. "She's just like Mom- how have you stayed with her this long? Cause you're just like me. You've been happily married for, what, almost 20 years?"

"Not happily married for that long."

He gave me a confused look and I leaned on his desk.

"Do you remember when I had my own apartment when you were 3?"

"No…"

"Your mom was pregnant with Elly and I filed for divorce."

"WHAT?"

"Yup. But obviously that didn't happen. I love her too much."

Grey looked absolutely dumbfounded.

"You really don't remember that?" I laughed.

"I was three!"

I heard the door front door open and close and knew that the guys were home. Kendall, James, and Carlos had gone to some car show for James' birthday, but I was at work at the time so I didn't go. Bentley and Parker had gone along, too, but Grey was studying. He was in high school now, and he was always studying my college anatomy books.

Grey smiled a little at me, a hand on my opposite shoulder to guide me out of the room. We reached the kitchen, where the guys were setting down pizzas on the counter.

"Hey, sexy!" James said excitedly, letting me hug him.

"Happy birthday, honey," I smiled, turning my face up for him to kiss me. You would never know that he was a day over 35. Not only was he naturally young-looking, but he dyed the grey from his hair when he noticed them. It didn't completely erase his age, but he was doing a lot better than me.

They say that doctors age twice as fast as everyone else. I wasn't quite THAT old looking, but I had to admit to my sideburns turning silver and laugh lines creased my face.

I guess Carlos had good genes, because he barely had a grey on his head or a wrinkle on his face.

Kendall's hair was going silver, but it was harder to notice through his lighter shaded hair.

Bella had only gotten prettier with age, as you could imagine. She kept the greys dyed out like James did, saying she had to keep "hot" for her husbands. I told her it was weird for us to hold hands in public, me looking older than I am and her looking young and jubilant.

No matter how old we got, James' kisses still had to power to knock my knees from beneath me.

"Everyone dig in!" Bella announced, being first in like to open the pizza boxes and plop some slices onto her plate.

My little Elly was beside her, their frames, their posture, their movements the same from the back. Elly had long wavy dark hair and was wearing a frilly pink dress, although she hadn't been out of the house all day. She was gorgeous even without makeup, which she didn't wear, with her sparkling black eyes framed with curly lashes, her rosy cheeks and lips, and her pale skin. She looked a lot like Bella besides my dark features.

Annie and Parker grew up identical until Annie started to wear makeup and shape her eyebrows. They were still like Tweedle-Dee and Tweedle-Dum, though, in that they did everything together. Parker looked exactly like I guessed that Carlos had in high school, with longish black hair, a goofy grin on his face, and being always up for an adventure.

I heard laughter and turned to see Georgie and Grey were having a pinch-fight at the other end of the kitchen, Georgie squealing and laughing, Grey dead set on making her surrender.

I was still waiting on them to confess their love for each other.

I wasn't sure how they could NOT be in love. They sure acted like it. They were both gorgeous young teenagers, Georgie having feminized a bit as she grew, her blonde hair in a French braid to the side, her caramel green eyes framed with mascara-coated lashes. They said that it was "weird- they're siblings!", but Grey had told me they had kissed before. Grey tells me everything.

None of the kids were sure if they wanted to go down the polygamy/polyandry path. Georgie was obligated to- her parents and grandparents being into it- but I don't think she was going to. The rest of the kids sort of were, but not so much. I honestly didn't think any of them would.

"Geooooorge," Kendall moaned. "Quit tearing your brother up and get some food."

Georgie sneered at Grey and made to walk away, letting Grey have the last pinch to her little arm. She played hockey, just like her dad, Grey, and Parker, so she was pretty muscular on her arms.

"BENT! PIZZA'S HERE!" James called.

Bentley came walking down the hallway, almost falling on his way.

"You okay, bub?" James giggled.

"I'm cool," Bentley said shyly, jumping as his father patted his shoulder. He was the shy one. Of all of his spontaneous siblings (even Grey had his moments), Bentley turned out to be the low-key one. Although he was very handsome, having gotten his James' looks, he kept his head bowed and his hands tucked in his hoodie sleeves.

I was the last to get my food and I followed James into the living room, where a movie was turned on.

Bentley sat in the corner of the couch, knees to his chest and plate perched atop them. Parker sat upside down beside him, struggling to get the pizza into his mouth. Elly sat beside him, her legs tucked beneath her, then Annie was on the floor in front of her. Georgie and Grey lay on their stomachs in front of the TV. Bella, Kendall, and Carlos perched on the love seat, and there was no more room for us.

"Here, Dad, sit here," Bentley volunteered, getting up from his spot to sit on the floor in front of it.

It was packed, with James in Bentley's spot, feet on either side of his son, and me sitting on the arm of the couch beside Elly, her head tilted to my hip lovingly. I enjoyed watching as Gerogie flung a pepperoni, it hitting Grey's face and leaving sauce as it fell.

"That's it. You're dead!" he said with mock anger, shoving her pizza into her face.

"Greyson Alexander, if you get sauce on the carpet-" Bella warned.

"I won't, Mom," he insisted.

"Awwwe, Grey!" Georgie pouted, sauce on her face. It wasn't a real pout- she just liked to make him feel guilty.

"Sissy, go get a napkin," Grey called.

"Noooooo," Elly groaned. "Get it yourself."

"Siiiiiiiiiisssss," Grey groaned.

"Nooo!"

Grey hauled himself off to get a napkin for Georgie, shooting Elly the evil eye.

* * *

"Hey! Bed by midnight!" Bella called down the hallway of the kids' bedrooms.

There was a chorus of groans, mixed with Parker yelling "I WILL NEVER SLEEP!"

Bella giggled and I followed her to the kitchen, where she leaned against the counter and pulled me to her.

"Would you mind making sure Jamie has fun tonight?" she asked, hugging my waist. "I can't- I'm-"

"I know," I interrupted. "We ALL know."

"How?"

I laughed, shaking my head. Of course her husbands knew when she was on her period- we had only been with her forever.

"We just KNOW. Don't worry about it, baby, I will."

"Okay. But I don't wanna hear about it- I don't need Los getting turned on."

"I'll TRY."

"Mm-hmm. I know how James is," she laughed.

I had to admit, I was excited I was given this assignment. Obviously she thought I had the ability to give him the best birthday night possible, but also I was excited that I had to him to myself.

* * *

I opened James' bedroom door, surprised to find he and Kendall snuggled together in the darkness. Kendall's eyes flashed to me and he smiled.

"Hey, baby, plenty of room for you," he smiled. James glanced up at me from where he clutched Kendall's side.

"We're watching Paranormal Activity," he said.

"That's an old one," I noted, turning on my laptop.

"It's scary as fuck," James said. "We could make a Birthday Boy sandwich and then I wouldn't be so freaked."

"Tempting. I have to finish something up, though," I said, pulling up the document that was so important a long time ago, but I hadn't written on for thirteen years.

"Work?"

"No. It won't take long, then we'll make a Birthday Boy sandwich."

And now I sit on the floor, writing all this down before I forget, because with medical procedures and appointment dates and birthdays and names swirling around in my head, I'm liable to forget all the things I wanted to share with you.

I guess I should press the little floppy disk in the upper corner of my screen now, because it's getting hard to type with James leaning over the computer screen, kissing and nipping at my neck, telling me to "Come to bed, Dr. Mitchell" and tugging at me. Everyone knows I can't resist that.

So, dear readers, I hope you got something out of my tale. Maybe you learned a little something about polyandry, or maybe you fell in love with Grey and Elly or even me and my husbands and Bella. Maybe you screamed at the computer as you read about my stupidity from when I was younger and trying to divorce the people I love. Maybe now you're telling me "GO, LOGAN! MAKE A BIRTHDAY BOY SANDWICH WITH JAMES AND KENDALL!" and I will. Right now. Thanks for the motivation.

Love,

Dr. Logan Mitchell

P.S. Hi, everyone, this is James! Kenny says hi! Okay, see ya! I've got some… STUFF to do. ;) ;) ;)

* * *

**SSSOOOOO? Did you love the ending? I loved the ending. If you didn't like the rest of the chapter you HAD to love the little P.S. at the end, right?**

**Like Logie said, thanks for reading and supporting this story from the beginning. I know a lot of you read like EVERYTHING I write and never review, so thank you to you silent readers, and a super big thank you to the people who DID review. Your words make me feel good. :D**

**By the way, check out my new story "As The IV Drips"! Its gonna be awesome!**

**Love ya!**


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